The Kitchen Page #6

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I tried to be honest with her.

She couldn't appreciate that.

So, does that mean

I should be alone for the rest of my life?

No.

No.

Maybe, like, for like two weeks

so people don't talk.

I don't care

what people say. You don't?

No. I want to be with you.

No. You do?

Yeah. Come here.

Give me a kiss. No!

Give me a kiss.

No!

Then go get my computer.

Please?

It's got all my drawings

and designs on there.

No.

Please.

Okay. I can do that.

- Okay, hurry.

- Okay.

She is like a puppet

on a string.

Some people like

to help others.

It's an admirable trait.

What are you even doing here?

You know exactly

what I'm doing here.

Like a thief in the night.

What?

Come on, don't play games.

We don't have a lot of time.

[ Scoffs ]

You've got to be joking.

After you told Pam

about that girl that we picked up?

I didn't tell her anything.

Those pictures

were on my computer, and she saw them.

Really?

Take 'em off.

Sit down.

No.

# [ Man Singing Ballad,

Faint ] #

[ Moaning Softly ]

[ Mutters ]

Isn't that that guy Paul? And is that...

Shut up.

[ Moans ]

# [ Ballad Continues ]

[ Moaning ]

Hey, a**hole!

[ Shrieks ] Hey!

- What the f***!

- You better get out of here before I call the cops.

You don't even live here!

Shut up, b*tch!

Jesus Christ!

You're out of your mind!

What's going on?

Penny, she's got my computer.

Just give it to me

and I'll get out of here.

What are you doing?

[ Penny ] Okay, great.

Those are my drawings,

my designs! F***!

- Paul!

- That was awesome!

You threw it out the window

as if it was...

Penny is a Nazi.

Jennifer acts like she owns

the world and pisses perfume.

Not that bad.

Can't wait till life

smacks them around some.

[ Earring Clatters

On Floor ] F***.

How do I look?

- Um...

- Where's the bathroom?

There's two. One down the hallway.

There's one down there.

People seem to like

to walk away while I'm talking.

Oh, dude.

She went to town. [ Man Laughs ]

Stan!

[ Man ] Man, she made

such a big deal.

Did you see that?

What a f***in' mess.

That was badass.

# [ Mid-tempo Rock ]

[ Brent ]

Aw! You're walking away.

If you would turn around...

Where are you guys going?

[ Laughs ]

Which one of you

is the birthday girl?

[ Laughs ]

Hey! Just go away.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Give me that.

Okay. There we go.

Oh, my God.

Stan, can you

do something about this?

Give me a smile.

Okay. All right, all right, all right.

Stop, stop, stop.

Let's take a break, big guy.

This is how I make my living.

I know. I know. I know.

I take photographs.

Stan, the unlikely watchdog.

He's my tiny little poodle

with the big bite.

[ Cap Pops ]

How many of those have you had?

Not enough.

Relax. It's my birthday.

Okay?

What...

What happened here?

Don't worry about it.

Where were you?

When?

Just now I went

looking for you.

Oh. Just now?

Just now I was with Marco.

Who's that?

I have no idea.

But I kissed him.

You did not.

I did.

You slut.

I know.

How was it?

I don't know. It was weird.

It wasn't... It wasn't like kissing Paul.

Good.

Don't do it again.

Why shouldn't I kiss him again?

Because you're not of sound mind right now.

You just broke up

with your boyfriend.

Besides, you should just try being

single for once in your entire life.

I am. That's why

I'm trying to, like,

you know, get back in the game,

get it over with.

Don't do that.

That's what guys do.

It is?

Yeah, they get dumped,

and then they go out

and they f*** the first thing they see.

It's gross.

But we don't do that?

No.

Why not?

Because we have class

and we have style,

and our maturity levels

are off the charts.

I mean, seriously, if we were

dating our male equivalents maturity-wise,

we would probably

be dating a guy that was 140 years old.

- Jennifer!

- Marco!

[ Kisses, Blows ]

[ Kisses, Blows ]

[ Chuckles ]

What was that?

That was Marco.

What's up

with the hand signals? Is he deaf?

He doesn't speak any English.

What is he doing in America?

As far as I'm concerned...

[ Cell Phone Ringing ]

He's here to make out

with me on my birthday. [ Chuckles ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

Hello?

Vladimir.

Are you having any trouble

finding the place?

Oh.

Okay, can I buy you lunch on Monday,

and we can talk about everything.

Okay.

[ Sighs ]

No, I understand. Thank you.

What did he say?

He thought about it and he...

is deciding to stay with Pace.

Sh*t.

Where does that leave you?

With four walls

and nothing to hang on them.

God, get this thing

away from me.

Look at what you almost did.

Good.

[ Both Laugh ]

On three.

[ Together ] One, two...

- [ Paul ]

God, that hurts. - [ Kim, Indistinct ]

I need a medic.

What the f***

are you doing here? He twisted his ankle.

[ Penny ]

No way. You get him out of here right now.

I can't walk, okay?

He's hurt!

- Do you have any ice?

- No, not for him.

- We do not have

any f***ing ice. - Use these!

How did you hurt yourself?

Who cares?

The two of you get him out

to the curb right now.

We were trying to jump the fence

and he fell down and he twisted his ankle.

Um, why are you with Kim?

[ Scoffs ] We're dating now.

[ Scoffs ]

I'm sorry. Since when?

Since you dumped him.

Um, since she came to her senses.

He's a cheating piece of sh*t.

You guys need to go.

[ Kim ] Look, things happen.

You don't have to get

so upset about it, Penny.

You know what?

You f***ing deserve each other.

- Paul and I are going to be happy together.

- I'm sure you will be.

Kim, we can just talk

about this in private. Oh.

You guys need

to leave right now.

You know, just...

What do we need to talk about?

What a great idea.

Why don't you talk about the fact...

that his fingers actually smell

like your friend Amanda's p*ssy.

That's a great

conversation starter.

Paul!

Uh... [ Laughs ]

She has no credibility.

You gonna listen to her?

You guys need to leave

right f***ing now! What, me?

Yes!

Why?

You do not get

to break my heart...

and then sit there

with your feet up.

Jennifer, please,

could you not be hysterical?

- I've really hurt myself.

- You're hurt on the outside.

The outside actually heals,

you prick!

- Ow!

- Good! I hope it f***ing hurts!

- Give me that.

- Oh!

- [ Squeals ]

- Ow! Oh, God.

- All right, yeah.

- Oh, my God.

- Come on. Once is enough.

- Is it okay? Does it look bad?

Oh, my God.

She's f***ing crazy!

I just wanna smash

his smug face. I know. I know.

- Why did you tell me?

- Tell you what?

Why did you wait until

the day before my birthday...

to tell me you were sleeping

with other women?

I thought somebody

was going to tell you.

So what?

So I thought

if I told you first, you wouldn't hate me.

I don't want you

to hate me, Jennifer.

- Of course I f***ing hate you!

- We gotta get out of here.

- Why?

- 'Cause, God, you're such a stupid little boy.

No. Come on.

You know what?

The reason I didn't want you

to design my gallery...

is because you're

an awful architect.

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