The LEGO Batman Movie Page #6

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I'm not here to throw down or anything.

Uh, no, I would crush you.

Okay. Sure, sure, sure.

Hey, listen. Thank me later,

but I just happened to be in the hood.

And I figured that you could

probably use the...

...company.

Wait a minute.

Are you... Are you having

the "57th Annual Justice

League Anniversary Party"

- without me?

- No.

No! No! No!

No! There must have been

some mistake with the email.

That's crazy, man.

Totally! Yes, email mistakes

happen all the time.

Sometimes I don't get

Superman's emails for

years.

Great point, G.L. Great point.

All right.

Well, that clears up everything, right?

Enjoy the party, bro.

Hit it, DJ Wonder Dog.

I'm Superman at the super party

I'm Superman at the super party

Hey-hey

Hey, Batman.

Do you wanna take a quick pic?

Sure. Where do you want me?

Right there is perfect.

- Here's the camera.

- Oh.

Okay, party people, get together.

Yeah. Everybody say...

Super Friends!

Let me see it! Let me see!

Classic! We got everyone.

Yeah, everyone.

Thanks, Batman.

Yeah, no problem. I did, like, a burst.

This party is the bomb!

Look at me! More like

Martian Dance Hunter, am I right?

'Puter, call kid.

Bat-Dad?

How's it going?

'Cause everything is

going great down here.

I can see the target.

But there's some kind of laser energy

thing that I can't get through.

Okay. I'll see if I can shut it off.

But I'm gonna have to make up an excuse

to leave this party without anyone noticing.

Bye.

Kid, tell me when it's off, all right?

- Now?

- No.

- Now?

- No.

- Now?

- Not quite.

- Now?

- No.

- My son...

- No.

These irreplaceable crystals contain all

my knowledge, which I now pass on to...

Darn it. It's gotta be one of these.

Is this the one?

O.M. gosh! You did it, Padre! It's off!

Okay.

Now you gotta make your way

to the Atomic Cauldron

and get that Phantom Zone Projector.

- Do exactly as I say.

- 10-4!

Okay. Jump!

Do a front flip. Do a backflip.

Run, run, run. Drop.

That's excellent listening.

Shimmy.

Strafe-left. Strafe-right.

Avoid.

Hey, I was thinking.

If I'm gonna be a superhero,

and go on awesome superhero missions

like this one, can we use code names?

Mine can be Robin.

- I'm sorry, say that again?

- Robin!

As in the small, Midwestern frail bird?

Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase.

Tweet, tweet, on the street.

- Hard pass.

- And a song.

Fly, Robin, fly

Harder pass. Now slide!

Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you

how to masterbuild your way

inside that thing.

Yay!

Grab those 2x6's, pull out the axle studs,

disconnect the 6x10 plates.

Like this?

Whoa! Unbelievable obeying.

Now, let's ride.

Toes to the nose.

Now you're gleaming the cube.

- Yeah!

- Now, get creative.

Freestyle a little bit.

Oh, that's good, kid!

It's like looking in a Bat-mirror.

Okay. Leap.

- I've got the Projector, Dad.

- Booyah!

Now do everything we just did backwards.

Oh.

Oh! Here you go, Dad. We did it!

Yeah! Mission accomplished. That was fun!

You okay, Batman?

You seem the opposite of stern.

Yeah, I'm fine. It's just

watching you out there,

it was like the world wasn't

all darkness anymore.

For a brief moment

I could have sworn I felt something.

That feeling is pride, sir.

You're right.

I am super proud.

Of myself.

For being such a good teacher, obviously.

Yeah, you're a great teacher.

I am?

Yeah! I wanna be just like you

when I grow up, Padre!

Wait, what did you call me?

I called you Padre.

It's Spanish for "Dad." Sorry.

Well, isn't it also a cool Spanish way

to say "buddy"?

Yeah, I could've been saying it that way.

Then I'll allow it.

Oh, you're such a great padre!

What are you doing?

I'm trying to give you a big old hug.

Thought you were attacking me.

Hey, you up for another

top secret superhero mission

to defeat the Joker?

Oh, I am down to stop that clown.

But I don't wanna make

my other dad, Bruce Wayne, angry.

Do you think we'll be done

before my bedtime?

Bedtime?

Batman's life lesson number two.

Vigilantes don't have bedtimes.

Yes!

So, what's the vigilante policy

on cookies?

Unlimited!

All right, kid.

We need to avoid Commissioner Gordon.

So, lesson number three.

When going stealth,

you gotta hide every part of you,

physically and emotionally.

- Got it?

- Yeah!

Already failed.

Now, what I need you to do

is use the naturally dark areas

of your costume,

and integrate into the dark parts

of this environment.

Okay.

- Can you see me?

- Yes.

- How about now?

- Yes.

- What about now? Now?

- Yes.

Yes. You're a goner, kid.

- Batman?

- Barbara!

Batman? Batman!

Hey, there. Look at you.

- Who's this?

- Hi, police lady.

- Is that your son?

- Yes, I am.

Is that my son... No, that's just weird.

It's weirder if it's not your son.

Right. No, I don't...

I'm not in a relationship or anything.

I could have a kid.

I mean, if I met the right lady,

and if she was just standing

right in front of me,

and we looked at each other and thought,

"Hey, let's do this."

"Let's be together."

- Batman?

- Yes?

I hope you're back because you've decided

to work together

on the Joker case.

Uh...

Yeah. Absolutely!

Great.

Ooh. Arkham Asylum.

- So, before we question the Joker...

- Uh-huh.

...I'm gonna need you to hand

over all your weapons.

I mean, I don't know if I have anything...

Oh!

I just got a couple here. There.

- Is that it?

- Yeah.

Oh. Of course.

What about the utility belt?

Anything in your cape?

Under your cowl?

And your shoes.

There we go.

Uh... This is really uncomfortable.

Sorry. My shoes are part of my pants.

Oops.

- Batman?

- Yes?

Why is your "not son"

trying to smuggle

the Phantom Zone Projector into Arkham?

What? Hey, kid. What is this?

Batman, give me

the Phantom Zone Projector.

- No.

- Batman!

Give me the Phantom Zone Projector!

Give it to me!

No, no, no! Whoa! Nice.

I studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu

at Harvard for Police.

Oh, yeah? Well, guess who got

a PhD in smoke bombs!

Dr. Batman.

Guards! Get them!

Freeze, Batman!

Hey, kid. This is a training exercise.

These guys are my bros.

- Go ahead and take a couple of them out.

- Cool!

- Hey, Frank.

- You want a piece of Robin?

- Barney! Nice compound fracture!

- How'd you like a punch, Glen?

Code Red!

I need total security lockdown, now!

Om!

'Sup, Joker?

Namaste, Batman.

- Namaste.

- Gross.

Ooh. Briefs man. Me, too.

Cut the baloney.

Kid, guard the door, will ya?

On it! Take that, Alan!

Huh. Looks like you're going to

a lot of trouble for little old me.

I must be your greatest enemy after all.

Right, Batman?

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