The LEGO Batman Movie Page #8

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the Butt-mobile.

Hey, evil army.

I need Batman brought here.

Now go get him!

Joker out!

Uh...

Padre?

Yeah?

Do you ever get scared?

No.

Yeah, that's what I figured,

'cause you're Batman.

Hey, kid. You know who does get scared?

Who?

Bruce Wayne.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Bruno told me once

that sometimes the only way

to get out of a down moment

is to start boxing.

And by "boxing," he meant

beatboxing.

Oh!

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na...

Feel it, uh-huh

Dick Grayson on the mic, go

Oh. Um...

Oh, my gosh.

This does make me feel better.

Okay. Shh. Batman solo.

Bat, bat, bat, can I get a bat?

Can I get a bat? Bat...

The Bat-Fax!

Ha! The city needs me. Bang, bang, bang!

Excuse me.

Can you get the commissioner

and show her this?

- Batman.

- Would you stop doing that?

I sent the Bat-Fax.

I hate to say this, but you're right.

The city needs you.

Yes! Let me out.

I'm only going to let you out

on one condition.

- Name it.

- You can't do it by yourself.

Fine. Who am I working with?

SEAL Team Six? Fox Force Five?

Suicide Squad?

No. Me.

Oh, I wanna help, too!

- And I shall join as well.

- Whoa!

Alfred Pennyworth at your service, ma'am.

- How did you...

- Alfred, you gotta let me out of here.

Sir, those creatures out there

are unlike anything we've ever seen.

Speak for yourself.

You don't know everything I've seen.

I haven't told you everything.

And you'll never be able

to defeat them alone.

And it'll be more fun

if we all do it together!

What's the worst thing that could happen?

What are you so afraid of?

The thing I'm most afraid of?

I gotta be honest with you.

It's snake clowns.

Yeah, that's not a thing.

Well then, nothing.

- I'm not afraid of anything.

- Okay.

Prove it.

- Oh, I will.

- Good.

Do you know what the B-A- in Batman stands for?

- Not really.

- Best At Teamwork.

Best At Teamwork Man is my full name.

Yay! We're going on a family trip.

This is not a family trip.

I can wear my costume, too.

Well, luckily for us,

you left your costume back at the...

- Rip!

- Oh!

Nope. Under your clothes. That's perfect.

- Rip!

- Alfred, what are you doing?

I miss the '60s.

Hey, can Scarecrow help?

- Yeah!

- He's destroying our city, too!

Permit us to lend you assistance.

Yeah. Why don't we use these guys?

What am I gonna do?

Get a bunch of criminals together

to fight the criminals?

That's a stupid idea.

Okay, guys. Game plan.

Joker's taken the Projector

- to Wayne Manor.

- Wayne Manor.

Right. Thanks, Batman.

- We need that Projector.

- Projector.

Or there's no way

- to blast these monsters...

- Monsters.

- ...back to the Phantom Zone.

- Phantom Zone? Yep.

Batman, I really don't

need you to finish my...

- Sand castles.

- No.

- Sister's homework.

- No.

- Succulent something.

- No.

Um... Everybody?

Batman is in Arkham Asylum.

Get him!

Okay, everyone, grab on to me.

Whoa!

We've gotta take cover!

Whoa!

- Joker has eyes on us.

- Where?

No! I mean,

he literally has a giant eye on us.

I think that thing can see our every move!

Shaka-laka-Iako.

We've got to destroy it,

or we'll never make it to Wayne Manor.

Uh... Bat-Dad?

I really think you should see this.

Building survey!

This building's not up to code!

Gotcha.

Is that real lava?

I'm okay.

All right, yeah. It's 100% lava.

- Everyone, start throwing me bricks.

- Right away, sir.

- I need a 4x6. Come on, quick.

- Here you go.

- I need an elbow.

- Elbow.

Ow!

Whoo!

Yes! I did it. Pretty cool, huh?

- Batman?

- Yeah?

Why did you build this thing

with only one seat?

'Cause last I checked,

I only had one butt. What the...

What have you done to Wayne Manor?

Hey, Batman, guess what!

I found out one of your secrets.

- Uh-oh.

- What do we have here, Batman?

It looks like a bunch

of relationship comedies.

- What's that one?

- Must Love Dogs.

Must love crying.

- Marley & Me.

- I love the ending.

Oh! Serendipity?

We have Serendipity? I love that movie!

For a loner, Batman,

you sure like movies about relationships!

Oh! And look what else I found!

All your wonderful toys.

Accio lightning storm!

Uh... Everyone, hold on.

Gremlins, dismantle that plane now!

Ugly monsters on our three.

- Uh... Padre?

- Not now, kid.

Kind of got my hands full.

I've got good tone. Firing.

- Uh... Batman?

- What's up, buddy?

- Are we nearly at Wayne Manor?

- Why?

Uh... Your number two

needs to go number one.

I thought I told you

to go back at the prison.

- I tried, but Bane was in there.

- So?

He had sort of a "get out

of this bathroom now" vibe.

I knew I shouldn't

have given you that water.

Can you hold it in like a big boy?

Engine one down.

Not a big deal.

Don't worry about it. It's fine.

- Engine two down.

- It does that sometimes.

We've lost engine three.

Oh. Could live without it.

Engine four!

That I do need to fix.

Good news. Our bathroom problem is solved.

You three wait here

while I go fix the engine.

Don't worry, Batman.

You fix the Batwing, I'll fly.

All good, Babs.

I've got my autopilot on it.

Done.

Autopilot? That's just a rope!

Exactly. All right, guys.

Until I get back, rope's in charge.

Thanks, rope.

All right, let's see.

Yes, the piston brake out here.

Jet engine brake in here and...

Get out of here. No.

Give me... No! Stop it!

Come on, Master Dick. We need to help him.

I'm with you, Grandpa!

Get off my Padre!

Unhand him, you animatronic fiends.

What are you two doing here?

I told you to stay in the cockpit.

You disobeyed me. You're on a timeout.

Batman, you're on a timeout.

What? Alfred, you better

un-timeout me right now!

No. Not until you un-timeout Master Dick.

Guys, you're all un-timeouted!

We have incoming!

- Sir! Watch out for those...

- What are you doing?

Okay. Everybody, timeout off.

Whoo-hoo! I've been parented.

- Batman, I can help you.

- No. Protect the rope.

The rope is fine!

Save Master Dick!

I'm fine. I'll just do

one of my gymnastics moves to...

No!

Dick...

Gotcha!

Hold on, Alfred. I'm almost there!

No!

Alfred!

No.

No!

Move over, rope.

Hold on!

Gotcha!

Barbara, did you see that?

Batrope saved Alfred.

Sick moves, rope.

I never doubted you, bro.

Actually, sir, Ms. Gordon saved him.

Rope! You lied to me!

Wait a minute. You mean, without you,

Alfred would have been

street meat?

Batman, trust us.

We can do this.

- Yeah. I know Gymkata.

- Sorry, what's that?

It's a gymnastics-based martial art.

I can punch those '80s monsters

off the plane.

Uh... Okay.

Multiple bogeys on our six.

Sir, I'll get them off our back.

I was a tail gunner

for the Royal Air Force.

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