The Man with Two Brains Page #4

How big is the estate?

Rebecca.

Why didn't you give me a sign?

I miss you...

...and the fun we had.

Remember our song?

Mrs. Necessiter?

Hello?

Hello?

- Is this a joke?

- What?

- Is this a joke?

- Who are you?

What's happening?

I don't know.

Who are you?

- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr.

- Dr. Hfuhruhurr?

- My God!

- What?

You're the first...

...object that ever pronounced it right.

How else could you pronounce it?

It's H-F-U-H-R-U-H-U-R-R,

isn 't it?

Yes.

Who are you?

Anne. Anne Uumellmahaye.

U-U-M-E-L-L-M-A-H-A-Y-E,

Uumellmahaye?

Yes. Where am I?

It's so dark.

In a doctor's laboratory.

Am I all right?

Not really.

Will I be able to play the piano again?

I would think no.

- Why did you call me an object?

- I'm sorry.

I didn't know what else to call you.

Why?

- You don't know?

- No, I don 't. Please tell me.

Well...

Miss Uumellmahaye...

...it seems that you have no body.

- What happened to my body?

- It's dead. Gone.

You're a disembodied brain

kept alive by a scientist.

But we're talking.

I must at least have lips...

... a tongue, a throat?

Nothing. Just a jar.

Don't cry.

- But how can I hear you?

- It must be some kind of telepathy.

What's gonna happen to me?

Hans told me you were here.

Good, good.

Now...

...let me show you that experiment

I've been working on.

No. No.

I've got something more important.

Listen, just listen.

All right, sing.

Have you ever heard

anything like that in your life?

- I can't hear a thing.

- Oh, really?

- What were you doing?

- I was just...

...working on my new technique

for walking in corduroy pants...

...to eliminate the scraping

when your thighs rub together.

That's very exciting work, doctor.

Well, come on.

Let me show you what I've done...

...for your friend Beckerman.

Just one moment.

What happened?

No one can hear you but me.

- Did you hear that?

- No.

You can't hear anyone but me.

It is some kind of telepathy.

- I'm frightened.

- Don't be.

Things are never bad as they seem.

You still have your brain.

- Dr. Hfuhruhurr!

- I'll be back.

Just stay here.

I believe you know this gentleman.

- Is that Dr. Beckerman?

- Sort of.

See, I've devised a machine...

...that can transfer the entire contents

of one brain into another brain.

Of course, the brain of a gorilla

is smaller than a human brain.

So much of Dr. Beckerman's vast

knowledge couldn't be accommodated.

Dr. Beckerman?

That's him, all right. We never did

like to shake hands with him.

He must be lonely.

Perhaps soon

we'll find him a companion.

Come, doctor.

Bye.

I'm going up to pack.

Can you send a bellman up?

Yes, sir.

"My darling husband, by the time

you read this, I will be dead.

My only regret is that

I caused you pain.

I hope my insurance money

brings you some happiness.

May I burn in hell

for what I have done to you.

My broken body will be lying

several floors below.

Au revoir, Dolores."

- You're alive.

- Yes.

- But the scream?

- I was rehearsing.

Don't come near me.

- Why are you doing this?

- Because I'm evil.

You're not evil, you're sick.

- Sick?

- Yes, from the operation.

Just screw your head on

a little bit tighter. You can be well.

It's no use, Michael.

I'm no good for you.

And besides, you divorced me.

I'm making a citizen's annulment.

- I'm coming to get you.

- No, stay where you are.

I can't stand

hurting you anymore, Michael.

- Goodbye, my darling.

- No.

Take my hand.

You're safe with me now.

Put your arms around my neck.

I hope this is strong enough

for the both of us.

I don't have any more saliva.

I need you.

You're all right now.

- You're going to the hospital.

- No, Michael. Please.

I wanna make it up to you.

- When? Thursday?

- How about Monday?

- Next Monday?

- Today Monday.

- Later today?

- Now.

- Right now or later now?

- "Now" now.

I love a clean, smooth, hairless chest.

I mean hairy. Hairy.

I never knew it could be like that.

Oh, it was so...

...so...

...professional.

We are finally united under

the holy laws of matrimony.

In sickness and in health...

...till death...

...do us part.

Help!

Help.

Help.

Dr. Hfuhruhurr.

- Is Dr. Necessiter in?

- No, sir.

- May I wait for him?

- Yes.

- I meant, may I wait inside?

- Yeah.

- May I wait in the laboratory?

- I'm afraid it's locked, sir...

...but you're welcome

to wait in the den.

Make yourself comfortable, sir.

Perhaps I could bring you a drink?

- Yes. A Tahiti Tingle.

- A Tingle.

And take your time.

Damn.

- Are you all right, sir?

- I'm fine.

Fine. I just leaned against the door.

The doors in this condo

are paper-thin.

Everything today is made so cheap.

Here, look at this wall.

Like paper.

Here is your drink, sir.

Thank you.

Can I get you anything else, doctor?

I'm about to retire.

Really? You seem so young.

No. I mean retire for the night.

- Oh, no, no, thanks. I'm fine.

- And don't worry about this.

I will have it replaced

in the morning.

Miss Uumellmahaye?

- Miss Uumellmahaye?

- Dr. Hfuhruhurr?

- Miss Uumellmahaye?

- Dr. Hfuhruhurr?

Dr. Hfuhruhurr?

No.

No.

Dr. Hfuhruhurr?

What's happened to me?

You're a gorilla.

- I don 't feel like a gorilla.

- Well, you sure do look like one.

But I can 't be. I can 't see or touch...

... or anything.

Miss Uumellmahaye?

Call me Anne.

Thank God. You're still a brain.

Why did you think I was a gorilla?

Because that's what Dr. Necessiter

has planned for you.

But don't worry, I have other plans.

- You're in my room now.

- Where in your room?

In a...

On a gold-leaf Florentine table

by the window...

...overlooking a garden.

Oh, I can almost smell the flowers.

- Sleep well, Anne.

- Good night, Michael.

Good night.

- Are you getting up?

- Yeah, just getting up.

I'll order us some breakfast.

Yeah, order me two sheets

of bacon and a pillow.

Hey, know what I've been thinking?

There's no need to rush home.

I'm due for a sabbatical.

There's a lot

of experimentation going on.

A lot of science,

a lot of brain research.

I could go out and look for a cottage.

I could set up a laboratory.

We could be comfortable.

What do you think? Should I go out

and look for one right now?

Whatever you want.

Do you want me to go with you?

- No, no, that's not necessary, really.

- But I'd love to.

Oh, it's so much trouble.

The driving, the realtors.

- Yes?

- May I take the table?

Oh, yeah, come on in.

- Madame.

- Oh, you're right.

It isn't necessary for me to go.

I'd just be in the way.

It's best.

I think I'll just...

...slip out of these clothes...

...into a hot bath.

That's great. That's great.

- You must be Dr. Hfuhruhurr.

- Hfuhruhurr. Yes.

- Can I give you a hand, sir?

- No, I'm fine.

What do you have there? You have

a cute little kitty-cat in there.

Hello. Peekaboo, I see you.

That's cute.

All curled up in a little ball.

You have no hair.

Sorry. I'd like to see the house.

Guess what.

I found us a cottage,

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