The Matchbreaker Page #5

Doesn't seem appropriate.

What?

You afraid you

might not like her?

PSH, impossible.

You're afraid he

will, and then she'll

get successful and leave.

No.

Are you gonna go after

her when you break her up?

That's probably

not gonna happen.

They're way too

good for each other.

Lexie, we got another job.

What is it?

A sailboat day with

Brian and Emily.

Are you in?

I want a raise.

How much?

30%.

What?

That's crazy.

I need more cash.

I want to start my own business.

By bankrupting mine?

That's what family's for.

Come on, Ethan.

Pay the woman what she's worth.

Why do you even care?

I've always been a champion

for the underemployed.

You once tipped a

pizza delivery guy

in sunflower seeds.

They're very tasty.

Lexie, you're just

going to have to patient.

The money is coming, ok?

What, because of the golden

ticket country club lady?

Last time I checked, her two

lovebirds were holding hands

and watching stars.

It's not looking

promising, Ethan.

I'll get them.

I always have.

Yeah, well, just

in case, I want 30%.

You don't think I can train

any girl off the streets

to do what you do?

30%.

I don't need you as

badly as you think.

I really need her.

Yeah.

How are you gonna find a

girlfriend in seven hours?

Ethan.

So, how did you guys meet?

Do you want to tell it, or...?

Sure, yeah.

We were in the park,

and I was walking...

No, no.

No, she's talking about

the first time that we met.

Ok, well... you know what?

Why don't you just tell it?

Ok, so we were both 7.

And I lived in another town, but

our schools went on field trips

with each other.

We were at the children's

museum in the planetarium,

and we all have these reclining

seats so we could lay back

and look at the stars.

But my seat didn't work,

and so Ethan... who was two

rows back... he came up to me.

And he had this cute

little red baseball tee on.

And I was wearing...

What was I wearing?

Um, that um, uh...

It was a cute black dress.

Yes, a cute black dress.

Wait, or was it yellow?

It was yellow.

Right.

Kind of a yellowish black.

You don't... you don't

remember this, do you.

Sorry.

No, i... I, uh.

Anyway, Ethan gave

me his seat, and he

said it was because the

stars made him nauseous.

But I know he was

just being nice.

I mean, what

seven-year-old does that?

Oh, how sweet you guys.

And I should have known there

was something special about him

then.

But you know, I kind

of forgot about him,

and then we didn't talk.

And then we met

back up at the park.

With our dogs.

You know, and sometimes

you're lucky enough

to get a second chance

with the right one.

A shooting star!

Usually shooting stars

are gone in half a second.

I bet it's just a

really fast plane.

Really fast plane

are so romantic.

Uh, whatcha doing there?

This is my angle.

Lay back this way.

- Oh.

Ok.

Got it.

So good.

You guys.

So how did you guys meet?

Ok, ok.

We were at the gym and

she didn't have a spotter,

so I just came over

and... thank goodness

she was being irresponsible.

You know, don't you love

how that stuff just happens?

When I was looking for a

seatmate, I found a soulmate.

Oh.

Wow.

And now I love him

more than my own life.

Oh, don't say that.

No, I do.

Well, people say it, but

is it ever really true?

You doubt my love for you?

No, absolutely not.

That is the one

thing I'm certain of.

No, nuh uh.

Because I would throw

myself overboard for you.

Yeah, if I was drowning.

But I don't...

- no, no.

I'm not talking about

if you were drowning.

I'm talking about

right here, right now.

I would throw myself overboard

for absolutely no reason

to prove to you that I love you.

How would that prove

that you love me?

- You don't believe me?

- Oh, hey.

Be careful.

No, I know you Ethan.

You're a man of

action, not words.

I love words.

I don't even know

what that means.

No, you want me to show

you how much I love you?

Veronica, please.

Sit down.

Please, please.

No!

Ethan, you need your own

epiphany, just like the one

I had at the children's museum!

What?!

No!

No!

Jump in after me, Ethan!

Really?

Prove to me your love!

I would normally, but it's cold.

I have a life saver.

Hey, catch.

I've got dry clothes in the car.

I'm gonna go.

Ok.

So.

Yeah, sorry about that.

She gets a little

emotional at times.

A little?

But I still like her.

I mean, she really loves you.

I guess.

You know, it must be nice.

What?

To have that kind of

passion for someone.

So I had a dream about

Trisha last night.

Yeah?

What about?

She came to my house

in a shower curtain.

Why?

I don't know, but

I woke up smiling.

I'm in love with her.

I am in love with her.

Every molecule in my body

right now is in love with her.

She deserves the best, the best.

And you think that's you?

I mean, you think you're

the best she can do?

Wow.

Wow.

What?

No.

No, I'm sorry.

I didn't...

That's an odd thing for

a confidence coach to say.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

That was lousy.

I'm sorry.

But you're right.

No, Mitchell, no I'm not.

She deserves better.

No, she doesn't.

No.

I mean, she could probably

get somebody real good.

Hello?

I'm a loser.

Emily?

What's the matter?

It's been kind of obvious

for the past couple months

now... obvious to me, not him.

Just completely blindsided him.

I mean, no one had ever

broken up with him before.

And why would anyone

ever break up with him?

He's this great guy.

He's like... he's kind and

generous, he's handsome.

He was perfect, just

not perfect for me.

It's a whole new ball game.

Why would she call me after

breaking up with her boyfriend?

It's a whole new ball game.

I just met her a few weeks ago.

Why call me?

She wanted to tell you

it's a whole new ball game.

Come on, man.

The laundry basket is

less than 10 feet away.

Beast?

You... you taught him

how to do laundry?

Apparently not.

So should I ask her out,

maybe just as friends?

You have no choice.

You have to ask her as friends.

Right, because it's too soon.

I have to give her time.

It's not that easy.

You got a girlfriend.

Yeah, I have a girlfriend.

So how long do I have to wait

before I can break up with her?

Well, you wait too long, and

then Emily finds someone else.

And not waiting long enough

will seem opportunistic.

Right.

So you got to make sure

you're still in Emily's life

without making it seem like

you're cheating on Veronica.

Right.

I'll go to the jazz club.

She needs support.

Brian always used to be the

one who watched her sing.

Now it could be me.

I'll just show up as a friend.

That's a good strategy.

Hey, was Lexie flirting

with me the other day?

Stay away from my sister.

Why?

A list that long would

use up all my printer ink.

Miss Atkins, hey.

Well done, Ethan.

You worked faster than

I thought you could.

Uh, you know what, miss Atkins?

I don't deserve this.

She broke up with Brian

without my help at all.

Nonsense.

Whatever you did, it worked.

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