The Meddler Page #6

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You can't not call.

Well, I mean, I...

I left messages

until it was full.

So?

Sorry.

I mean, it's not my business,

but you have to call her.

Well, I...

I really wouldn't know

what to say.

You just tell her that you love

her no matter she's up to.

You know, everybody knows their

mother loves them unconditionally,

but fathers have to

say it out loud, I think.

What time is it?

Here you go, I'll trade you.

Thanks.

Oh...

Take that, too.

Wow, thank you.

Uh...

Hang on here, let me...

Let me give you this.

You know,

in case you need to get out

of a speeding ticket

or something.

Cool.

Here, doggies.

Mmm.

Anyway, I'm landing

at JFK at 5:
30.

Just thought I should head

back east for a little bit,

see daddy's brothers and maybe

get to visit you on the set.

Don't worry about the dogs.

I dropped them off

at Jacob's house

so they'd be somewhere familiar.

To be honest, I can't wait

to be back in the city.

Seeing the old stomping grounds,

walking through midtown

in the garment district,

and seeing daddy's old building.

But mostly,

I can't wait to see you.

So, let me know

when's a good time.

We skip that, because that's,

like, the whole point.

That's like the only real thing.

Know what I mean?

It just feels like none of these

things my character would say.

Is there any way

we can get some new pages?

What would you like to say?

Just something less jokey.

Hi!

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Hi.

Hi.

Thanks.

I'm gonna find you and...

Um... hi. Hi, mom.

Hi, sweetie.

This is your chair, okay?

Okay. Yes.

And, uh...

This...

These are your headphones.

Okay? And...

Don't talk to anybody.

Just... and the safe word

is "cantaloupe."

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

On the bell.

And, action.

All right. Call me, okay?

Good night.

Oh! Jesus! Mom, you scared

the crap out of me!

Come on, don't you have

ice-cream in the guest house?

Well, yeah, but I already picked

all the cookie dough out of it.

What are you reading?

Is that my journal?

Is that what this is?

I thought the character

was a little slutty.

Give me that.

Aren't you too old

to keep a journal?

Aren't you too old to be reading

your daughter's journal?

That's a violation

of space and time!

Hey, hey, hey! Now, what's

all the yelling about? Huh?

I violated space and time.

Ah. So, what, you... you peed in

the upstairs, shower, too, huh?

What's wrong with the shower

in the guest house?

Well, it's got this,

weird smell.

Mom, dad, when I said you should

move here after you retire,

I didn't mean mean "here," here.

Okay? I need to get a life.

I need to meet a guy and get married,

so I can give you grandchildren, so...

Wet towel, dad.

Cut!

Here, and jump

straight to there.

I just feel like we could

land it a little better.

And we need another option for that.

All right.

I think, definitely,

write that down.

Hey, you. That was so good.

Not too big?

Did you love it?

- Perfect.

- Space and time...

Great, great, great, great.

Awesome, man. Thanks.

You look so much like him.

I'm sorry?

The... character that

you're playing, it... it's...

You look so much like

the man that it's based on.

I didn't realize it was,

you know, based on...

So much like...

Cantaloupe!

Would you like some cantaloupe,

because we have

a fresh tray going around?

And then that's when,

that's when he looks down

and sees this giant snake right there.

No, no, no!

And he's like... he's like,

"jock! What's this

huge snake in the plane?"

And, and jock's like,

"oh, that's just Reggie."

And, and Indy's like,

"I hate snakes!"

And then they just fly off

into the sunset.

Yeah. And that's

the first 20 minutes

of Indiana Jones and

the raiders of the lost ark.

Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you.

I never saw it.

What?

No. I feel like I've seen it

now, but I never saw it.

Well, we gotta watch it

before you leave town.

All right.

Movie night.

I like it.

Thank you.

Drink it, drink it, drink it,

drink it, drink it...

- You two meet on the set?

- Mm-hm.

Yeah, just two weeks ago.

Like I was telling you, right

before you asked him to dinner.

I think it is so romantic,

meeting on a movie set.

Well, not really, I mean, plenty

of people meet on movie sets.

It's usually scandalous

and home-wrecking.

That's so true. So true.

I met Lori's father

in Atlantic city.

It was pretty romantic.

And then we got married

six months later.

Six months?

Yeah. I think when you know,

you know.

I totally agree with you,

you know something...

You know, I'm just gonna

run to the bathroom.

Tinkle time.

Okay, hurry back.

Dinner's coming.

Oh, you...

Yeah, there we go.

She's so lovely.

Good job.

She is lovely. Thank you.

Yeah. So, hey...

Oh, my god.

I got that the day after we met.

You know, when I know

I want something, I go get it.

That's how I got this far

in my career.

Russell Boyd, Rodney charters,

don Mcalpine.

When the top cinematographers

need a b camera operator,

do you know who they call?

You? Boom! When you

know, you know!

Wow.

Yeah.

It's so fast.

But, if Lori's happy...

I was thinking we'd get

everyone she knows together,

and we... we put together

one of those YouTube videos.

And everyone she knows

comes out one by one,

doing a choreographed

dance number.

And then it ends with me

appearing with the ring...

This will all be one

tracking shot, of course.

I love it. Oh, my gosh.

That's so beautiful.

I'm gonna propose to her...

She's gonna love it.

I just feel like the whole thing

is getting bastardized

by everybody's notes, you know?

By now, I can't even remember what I

was trying to say in the first place.

Why are you so hyper?

I'm not.

I'm just excited for you.

And... Ben seems nice.

Yeah, well,

do not get used to him, mom,

because that's not gonna last.

I'm not so sure.

No, I'm telling you,

I'm just rebounding.

But, you know, sometimes people think

that they're having a rebound,

and then it evolves

into something more.

Actually, there's something

I have to tell you.

Come here.

I was engaged to someone else

before daddy.

Yeah, you told me that before.

I did?

Yeah, his name was Matteo,

and you weren't

that attracted to him,

then you went to Atlantic city

with your girlfriends,

and that's where you met daddy.

You have, like, three stories,

mom.

All right, all right,

so you're rebounding.

Well, then, why don't you

and Jacob give it another go?

Because that's not up to me.

Well... maybe if you tell him

how you feel.

See that's the great lie

of your life, mom.

You think if you dream it,

you can do it.

The world just doesn't work that way.

What are you talking about?

You dreamt that you would be

a writer, and you did it.

You dreamt you would come

to Hollywood, and you did it.

You dream up lots of stories,

all the time.

Oh. That reminds me,

I met the cutest girl

in the bathroom at JFK.

She's, in a wheelchair

and she's a blogger.

She empowers young women.

And, I told her you were

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