The Meddler Page #7

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a writer.

She didn't know who you were,

but she was very, very excited

about the possibility...

I told her you would have

coffee with her

and give her some industry tips.

I don't have any industry tips.

Well, it's just coffee.

She's in a wheelchair.

How do you take a selfie?

What do you mean? You just

take a picture of yourself.

Yeah, but, how do you

take a picture of yourself?

Who are you sending a selfie to?

Shh! Shh!

Just never mind.

Never mind.

Do you have a new friend?

My... I'm not talking about it.

Ooh.

I'm not talking about it.

Mom!

Stop.

Who's your new friend?

I'm not talking about it.

It's not funny.

I'm not talking about...

Can I meet him?

Where are the bottles? They in here?

Did you meet him at the grove?

Oh, stop it.

Huh?

Stop it.

This is obviously me.

Hi, zipper.

It's, Marnie Minervini.

I'm calling from New York,

with my daughter.

She's doing her TV show.

And... today I saw the set

and it made me think of you.

I mean, 'cause of your job.

Also, I mean, what you do

for a living.

Anyway, so, I ordered some scrambled

eggs at the hotel this morning,

and they were nothing

like what I had of yours.

I mean,

the eggs that you gave me.

I had one.

Briefly.

And so I just thought I would...

Check in on the chickens.

Also... oh, yes, my daughter

has a new boyfriend.

Or should I say fianc?

Yep. So, okay.

So, call me.

Okay, love you... bye!

Bye.

Marnie!

Marnie!

Mwah!

You look very good. California.

You look very good, very well.

So, Tina, Pina,

how are you feeling?

Mm...

Mm...

Mm...

Hey, how's the TV show?

So funny.

You would not believe.

I don't know where

she gets her characters from.

She's a very smart girl.

Good imagination more than anything.

That is mine.

Salute. Eh?

Very sweet grapes.

You don't...

You don't remember?

- No.

- No.

You're two years younger than me.

You don't remember?

I remember the grub.

Yeah.

That smells good.

So, the first time I cooked

for Joe, I wanted to make pasta.

And my mother told me that the

way you know if pasta's done

- is you throw it against the wall...

- Oh, no.

And if it sticks, then you

take it out of the water.

So I boiled the water.

I break the pasta in half...

I know. I know.

And I start cooking it.

- And... and then I...

- Throw it against the wall.

Nothing. Nothing.

So then I cook it a little bit

more, cook it a little bit more.

And then finally I throw it against

the wall, and it stuck to the wall.

And it stuck to itself.

And it stuck to the pot.

And it stuck

to everything it touched.

So, Joe takes his first bite.

So, it seems okay.

Takes his first bite.

And then I see him take a little

bit of the pasta off the plate,

and he puts it in a napkin.

And I say to him,

"what are you doing?"

And he says, "I just gotta

show this to my mother."

Yeah, it was a lucky thing we

were married already. Right?

I would have had a problem.

I can't believe...

I can't believe it's

his anniversary already.

I know, already a year.

Unbelievable.

You mean two years.

Yeah. A year from last year.

- Right.

- Mm-hmm.

Time flies, huh?

- Time flies.

- Time flies.

So, Marnie...

We were thinking that...

You can keep half of his ashes

with you and Lori in California,

and, the other half

could be buried in Elizabeth.

- That way...

- We have some place...

Yeah, we all have some place to go.

Yeah, we'll visit, you know.

Yeah. Um...

You know, I really think that

I want to talk to Lori about it,

'cause she's been very sensitive

about the whole thing.

We already talked to her and what

did she say? We talked to her.

She says it's up to you.

Up to you.

Oh.

Since we're all

on the east coast, for a change,

we could at least pick out

a headstone.

Lori said you wanted

to use a quote, maybe.

Yeah, something

from "my way."

It doesn't have

to be "my way."

How could it not be "my way"?

As long as it's Sinatra.

Well, of course, it is

Sinatra, obviously.

It should be "my way."

That was his... it should be...

Marnie, it is all up to you.

If you want to bury

his ashes here, okay.

And if you wanted to

just sprinkle a little here,

sprinkle a little

over there, fine.

Boom, boom, boom.

Up to you.

How could it not be "my way"?

How could it not be "my way"?

Of course.

It has to be "my way"!

We talking about Joe!

Joe did it his way!

He lived his way!

It has to be "my way"!

No "strangers in the night."

"My way"!

"Joseph Minervini"?

What?

Oh.

I... I handed you

my husband's license.

There.

"Marnie Minervini."

That makes more sense.

And where you headed today,

Ms. Minervini?

Los Angeles.

I live there now.

How was your time in New York?

Great.

My daughter shot a pilot.

Oh!

No. It's...

Welcome to Los Angeles,

where the local time is 10:37.

Please remain in your seat

while we taxi to the gate.

If your cell phone is within

reach, you may use it now.

Hey, Marnie, it's your

new friend, zipper,

or Randy, I guess,

depending on who you ask.

I just saw that you called.

Sorry I'm just getting

back to you now.

There's, just terrible

reception in the canyon.

I could barely hear

your message.

But... just wanted

to try you back

and see how the east coast

is treating you,

and also let you know that the chickens

have expanded their musical library

to include Peggy Lee now, as

well as, Dolly Parton covers,

so I guess you've got that

to look forward to,

if you ever make it back

this way. But...

Anyway, give me a call if,

you know, if you get a chance.

And, yeah, there you go.

Okay. "Love you." Bye.

Hey, Marnie,

it's your new friend zipper...

Anyway, just wanted

to let you know

that I made it back

to the west coast,

and... it's a shame you're gonna miss

the wedding because of reshoots.

Oh, and sorry to hear

you broke up with Ben.

I guess you didn't like

the YouTube video?

Anyway, I know you're busy, so

don't worry about calling me back.

Hi.

Uh...

You didn't hear any, kind of,

music-type sounds coming

from inside, did you?

That wasn't you, was it?

Just a little Dolly cover band

I'm putting together.

Thus far we have a largely

avian fan base.

What's this?

Oh, nothing, I just...

I picked this up...

To help... well, play music,

for, you know,

Henrietta and Susan and Gayle

and, you know, all your gals.

You just plug it in your iPhone.

God, do you have an iPhone?

I've been meaning to get

one of those.

Thank you.

It's... it's really nice.

Um, you want to come inside?

You can help me, whatever,

plug it in, figure it out.

No, I'm supposed to go

to this wedding.

Oh.

Well, that's fun.

Yeah.

So...

You know...

I missed you.

I guess that sounds funny.

Oh, I called her, by the way.

Lizzie, my youngest.

Zipper, that's great.

She yelled at me.

A lot.

Aw.

I was actually thinking

maybe tomorrow

I might take a ride out there

and let her scream

in my face a little.

That's a good idea.

You think?

Yeah.

D-do you...

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