The Monster Squad Page #4

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And your Dad's a cop, so if we get your Dad...

(SEAN) Absolutely no grown-ups. Okay?

They'll lock him up in a cage or something.

Dissect him.

Or put him on TV! Fat Kid.

Ha ha ha! Why are you such a lame-oid?

You're the lame one.

(CRACK)

Bogus!

Bogus.

Dudes, check it out.

(WHIMPERS)

Sc...

Scary?

(BARKING)

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

The amulet is in here. Very near, yes.

Oh... Van Helsing, your disciples were very clumsy, trying to hide from me the very thing that is mine.

No hiding, never, from me.

Ah! It's here!

(GRUNTING)

My prize. Oh...

Soon, Van Helsing... soon, the creatures of the night shall rule the world.

And there is no one to stop us!

(ALARM BUZZES)

♪ (UPBEAT ROCK)

♪ I don't wanna go home ♪

♪ I don't wanna leave the floor ♪

♪ Someone turn the lights down ♪

♪ Close the cage and lock the door ♪

♪ We ain't gonna let this feelin' under ♪

♪ We gotta cut loose and turn it up all the way ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Dance until your heart stops ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Dance until your feet fall off ♪

♪ I don't want to sit down ♪

♪ I don't need no easy chair ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Someone turn the clock back ♪

♪ We ain't gonna go nowhere ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Now we're gonna go in big like thunder ♪

♪ No one can stop us now ♪

♪ We're goin' all the way ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Yeah, dance until your heart stops ♪

♪ Oh, rock until you drop ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Dance until your feet fall off ♪

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ We ain't gonna let this feelin' under ♪

♪ Cut it loose and rock some more ♪

♪ Now we're gonna comb this big night under ♪

♪ It's totally rad, it's cool cool ♪

♪ It's cool cool, it's cool ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Dance until your heart stops ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Yeah, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Dance until your feet fall off ♪

♪ You better rock me ♪

♪ Yeah, rock me ♪

♪ Dance until your heart stops ♪

♪ Everybody, sing it ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Rockin' dude ♪

♪ Party till your brains fall out ♪

♪ Whoo-oo ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Dance until your heart stops ♪

♪ Party till you die ♪

♪ Rock until you drop ♪

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

♪ Dance until your feet fall off ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, rock ♪

I do regret the dosage, my friend.

Most, um... lethal... by human standards.

But then, um, human standards do not apply, do they?

(CHUCKLES)

Well, uh, I'll, uh, go have a bite while you change into something more, um... comfortable.

(PANTING)

(GASPING)

Last night, near the ambulance crash, get this... eyewitness report Long black hearse. No plates.

You wanna ask me about the hood ornament?

What about the hood ornament?

I thought you'd never ask.

A silver skull.

I consider this an exciting lead.

I am excited. Are you excited? I'm thrilled.

Put out an APB.

I already did.

I'm a very good policeman. You know?

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Crenshaw.

Hurry! Get all your men and send them down to 666 Shadowbrook road!

It's an old mansion!

He's found the amulet! There's... There's no time!

Who the hell is this?

I'm the one they shot last night!

I'm a werewolf now, but...

Have a nice night.

No! No! No! No! Don't hang up!

Uhh! He's gonna kill your son!

(SCREAMING)

(ROARS)

(GROWLING)

(HOWLING)

(DISTANT HOWLING)

Patrick! Come in. Patrick.

Patrick, come in.

Yeah, we're here. Where are you?

We're almost there. Everything set with you?

Know in a minute. Rudy?

Rudy!

This babe is major.

Rudy's in love.

Well, good for Rudy.

(DISTANT HOWLING)

Thanks a lot, Pete.

(BARKS)

Okay, remember... rendezvous position "A", 2200 hours. Uhh...

Say what?

10:
00, doofus.

How do we know the amulet's there, anyway?

We don't, but it's all we have to go on. Sean.

Okay. Well. Good luck, butt love. Sean.

I know you are, but what am I? Sean.

Out.

What, Eugene?

Creature stole my Twinkie.

So?

What did you want to ask me?

What do we want to ask you.

Okay. Um, Sis... me and Ru...

Rudy?

Your show, Ace.

Okay.

We just wanted to know...

(COUGHING) if you're a virgin. What?

(COUGHS)

Okay. What we want to know is... are you a... (BLUBBERS)

Ahem. Look.

What your brother is so delicately attempting to inquire, and let me, out of my own personal curiosity, is the degree to which you may have or... have not, at some point in time...

...been dorked?

You guys are sick!

(GASPS)

Guess what.

Fox Photo's got a two-for-one deal this week, and wouldn't you know it, there's a space on the bulletin board right between the prom committee notes... and the football roster.

(FAT KID) Sean.

About this Monster Squad thing.

Maybe we could go back to the clubhouse and rethink it with the other guys.

Fat Kid... you're bein' a wuss.

Wuss?

Can it, Frank.

Time's runnin' out.

(WHISPERING) Sean, no!

Scary house... real monsters... us...12 years old? Remember?

Midnight... end of world. Remember?

Master... is near.

Master wants children dead.

Um, Sean?

Maybe we could be like Math Squad instead, you know... do math problems. Stay home.

Or Nature Squad.

We could look at rocks, collect birds.

Not be dead. See, it's this whole death thing I'm not crazy about.

(HINGES SQUEAKING)

(CHUCKLES) Well... no amulet.

Let's go.

Look. We got two consolations.

Number one, Frankenstein's on our side.

And number two, my Dad's a cop.

Anybody fools around with us, he kicks their ass.

Hey, Frankie.

Come on.

(LOUD STEP, BOARDS CREAK)

(EXPLOSION)

Frank!

Wake up! Wake up!

(SEAN) Eugene, get away from there!

He won't wake up!

Fat Kid, use your eyes. Does it look like you can help him?

But... But what do I do, Sean?

A monster!

Don't call him a monster.

Well... what if he's dead?

Then he died to help us.

Now, look.

I'm the leader of this squad, so listen up.

He said Dracula knows we're here.

So let's just try to find the amulet...

...and get the hell outta here.

(ROARS)

Sean! Aah!

Kick him in the nards! What?

Kick him in the nards!

He doesn't have nards! Do it! Do it!

Wolf man's got nards!

Come on! Come on!

(GROWLING) Oh...

(BARKING)

(FAT KID WHIMPERS)

Aah! (THUNDER)

(HISSING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(GROWLS)

What are you doin'? Haven't you read The Hardy Boys?

You pull some lever down and a secret door opens!

You gotta be kidding! You have a better idea?

♪ (ROCK)

(CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

(HORN BLOWS)

(PATRICK) Come on, Sean.

Damn! Where is he?

Where are you? Come in!

Sean!

Where are you, Sean?

10:
00. They're late.

Maybe the monsters got them.

"Maybe the monsters got them."

(ALL SCREAMING)

Can we go home, Sean? Oh, great.

Please? Can't we go home? Just great.

Frankenstein's dead, Eugene's whining, and we're sitting here with Pirate Bill.

(EUGENE) Come on, Sean. Man, we're dead.

(FAT KID) Eugene, stop it.

Bingo.

You guys, I got it!

Give it to me.

Give it to me!

Aah! (BARKING)

Get out of here! Get out of here!

Help! (PETE BARKS)

Give it to me!

Aah!

Garlic! Come on! Get outta here!

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