The Movie Out Here Page #5

the sh*t out here.

You just don't f*** with snow.

Really?

Snow is big out here?

We'll figure something out.

I got to make a call.

Hello?

Gary. Hey, it's Adam.

You feeling any better?

No, I feel like a bag of c*cks.

Is everything okay out there?

Yeah. Uh, well, no.

A friend of mine is about

to lose his ski waxing business.

He owes money on his property,

And we're trying

to figure out a way

To stop him

from losing everything.

This is the waxopolis

property, yeah?

Yeah, how did you know?

Because magnadeuce

Is trying to acquire

that piece of land.

The paper you filed

at city hall

Was a temporary injunction

on a development freeze.

Wait.

What are you saying?

That you basically

cleared a path for our client

To come in and snap up

your friend's property.

Why didn't you tell me this?

Uh, "a" you never asked,

"B" I don't know your friend

from a hole in my ass,

"C" magna deuce is one of

our firm's biggest clients,

And they pay my salary.

Oh, f***.

F***.

F***! This is...

F***! F***! F***!

I'm sorry, Adam.

There's not much

that can be done about it now.

Okay.

Do me a favour and don't tell

anybody in the office.

Yeah, no problem.

But it's only a matter of time

Before Edith starts

asking questions.

You know her.

Yeah, I'll handle it.

Thanks, Gary.

F***.

The poor guy's exhausted

from the flight in.

Maybe we should give him

a couple minutes.

Fresh, do you think I'm needy?

What?

No.

No way.

Why?

My therapist thinks I'm needy.

You're seeing a therapist?

Cathy recommended

I see a therapist

Because of our

relationship troubles.

You're seeing a therapist

Because she had sex

with another guy?

She thinks I'm an enabler.

Hmm.

Anyway, my therapist thinks

I impose too many

boundaries on Cathy.

Wow.

That's pretty

friggin' deep stuff.

Cathy says

he's extremely progressive.

He suggested a no-Boundaries

weekend seminar in Las Vegas.

Sounds awesome.

When are you going?

Oh. I'm not going.

It's just the two of 'em.

Cathy says he likes

to work one-On-One.

That's cool.

Congratulations, buddy.

Thanks, Fresh.

See, I knew you'd understand.

Hmm.

Hey, is that a new flare gun?

Yup.

The new sg233.

Long fire flares

that last, like,

Five times as long

as the regular flare gun.

Very cool.

# Informer

licky boom-Boom down... #

Fresh,

He's singing in his sleep.

Dude, this is like

a private concert.

# Licky-Dicky

boom-Boom down... #

I have got to record this!

Oh, sh*t,

I must have dozed off.

Geez, point that

somewhere else, brother.

You scared the sh*t out of me.

Hey, don't worry.

Fresh isn't stupid enough

to bring a loaded flare gun

Into the car.

Jet lagged like a...

Hey, snow.

Is it be okay if Fresh

takes a picture of you,

And I can send it

to my girlfriend, Cathy?

She's a huge fan.

Yeah, man, no problem.

Cathy?

I knew a girl Cathy from fernie,

Came to my concert one time.

Yeah, she toured with the band

for about a month,

If you know what I mean.

But go ahead take that picture.

- Ready, snow?

- Yeah.

Smile.

Oh, this is so

Not gonna look good

on my performance review.

No, it's not.

# The line runs through

like a train in a book #

# Or metres underwater

# Ending with a hook

# It sways in the air

# When there's wind

enough to lift... #

- Hey.

- Hey.

- How's it going?

- Good.

Well?

- This was a good idea.

- Right?

I know, this place

is my favourite.

You have to try

the bagels here.

They're the sh*t.

Hey, do you guys want

any breakfast?

Uh, could I get

A venti decaf soy latte

And a gluten-Free

cran-Apple scone?

Okay, we'll just have

two coffees

And the usual, please.

Thank you, mike.

We're in fernie.

Right.

Um, Theo is so generous.

I have no idea

How he makes a living.

I do not understand that guy.

He's just throwing

his life away.

Why? Come on,

what's the problem?

He's happy.

What about you?

Are you happy?

Sure.

For the most part.

I am kind of stressed out

With some of

this wedding stuff.

Really?

You should tell me.

I want to know. Please?

Why does it have to be

so complicated?

It's not complicated.

You're basically

organizing a party.

It could be done in, like,

I don't know, six hours.

I swear, the complexity

of it all

Is just a woman's way of testing

how much bullshit

Her future sucker's

going to put up with.

Wow. You are

so romantic.

Actually, I am.

I just don't think

"romance" and "wedding"

Should ever be uttered

in the same sentence ever,

Ever, ever.

Okay.

What do you think romance is?

I don't have

an idea of romance.

Romance just happens.

It's just romance,

it's what it is.

It's, you know...

how you feel when you look

at someone in the eyes

And you know they're feeling

The exact same way

that you are.

Or it's, you know,

Drinking peach schnapps

Out of your boyfriend's

bellybutton

Before f***ing like hobos

on bathsalts

For an hour and a half,

I don't know.

I'm just pretty sure

whatever it is,

It's not getting drunk

and dancing to Enrique Iglesias

In front of

all your parents' friends.

You see, we could never date,

Because I would not drink

anything out of a bellybutton.

They're filthy,

Right?

They're like

a non-Functioning

Slightly more attractive anus.

Ew.

Yeah.

I just hope you know

what you're doing,

Because you're

a pretty good catch.

This just in,

Juno award-Winning

reggae musician snow

Is in critical condition

After being shot in the throat

with a flare gun...

this is huge.

I've got to call the guys.

...the concert scheduled

for Sunday night in fernie

Is cancelled.

It's true.

Are you telling me

that snow is out?

There's no way he can perform.

Why is it

That everything you touch

turns to sh*t?

It wasn't my fault!

It was an act of god.

Well, we better pray

That an act of god

stops this loser's party,

Or else!

Or else?

The balls will no longer

Share the taint with the anus.

I don't follow.

Hold on.

Mm.

Sergio, this is delicious.

Load me up.

You solve this problem,

Or you're cut off!

No more free condo.

No more free car leases.

No money.

You got it?

I will do everything

in my power to fix it, daddy.

You will pull out

all the stops on this one.

Yes, sir.

I love you.

Ah, I love you, too.

Fernie cold beer and wine.

Steve...

hey.

I need about 50 cases of kokanee

Delivered to waxopolis

for Sunday.

Ah, for your big party.

Indeed.

Would love

to fill that order, but...

but?

I'm out of stock.

Got a call from the brewery.

The truck went

missing this morning.

Missing?

What do you mean?

They said the delivery truck

Had been gone for quite a while,

But hasn't called in.

But there's another delivery

on Monday.

The party's on Sunday.

Oh.

Yeah. Right.

Well, I'm sure you could get

some out of town.

Cranbrook.

Well, I'll come by

your place later

And drop some flyers off

So you can spread the word.

Sounds good, man.

Okay, see ya, Steve!

# Awoke today with

the same appealing vision #

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