The Naughty Nineties Page #5

---

Yeah, but I'm not that hungry.

Oh, sit down.

Those poor kittens.

Why worry about them?

Yes, sir.

Fast.

Yes, sir. I gives good

service, sir. Mm-hmm.

Here's your bread,

and here's your chopped meat.

Mmm, smells good! Sure is. It's the cats.

What are you doing?

What's the matter

with you?

All right, take it easy.

Take it easy.

Boy, they look delicious.

Go ahead, help yourself.

Here's your milk, gentlemen. Thank you.

Go ahead and eat!

Do I have to?

Well, certainly.

What do you think

they're there for?

Are you gonna like yours? Well,

look at 'em. They're delicious.

They were cute.

What's the matter?

Did you hear anything?

Certainly not.

Nothing at all?

You want some catsup?

Catsup. Catsup.

Take that out of your mouth.

You don't eat that!

What do you think they're

there for? Now go ahead and eat.

What are you doing?

Nice p*ssy cat.

What's the matter?

What's wrong with you?

Well, keep quiet

and eat your meal.

Look, you haven't

touched them at all.

There's nothing wrong with

that meat. Look. Wonderful meat.

Now go ahead, dig in.

What's the matter?

It's delicious.

That's right.

Will you stop that?

What are you... Now just...

Wait a minute.

I didn't mind you playing show with

your silly Mississippi melodramas,

as long as you didn't

interfere with me.

I won't stand by and watch you turn the

River Queen into a Barbary Coast den.

You haven't seen

anything yet, Captain.

I'm taking over this boat

from stem to stern.

I'm making

a lot of changes.

If you want to stay aboard...

you and your whole crew...

just do as you're told,

otherwise get out.

As soon as we pay off those

notes, we'll throw you off.

Sure you will, honey. But in the

meantime, stick to your play acting.

I'm busy. Let's get out of here, Caroline.

You know, Sebastian, if we had $15,000,

we could pay off those crooked gamblers.

Mr. Broadhurst.

What?

Maybe you don't know this,

but they are playing for keeps.

Well, certainly.

I know that.

What are you using for bait? Apple.

You're supposed to use a

worm. The worm is in the apple.

Go ahead. I'll show you some fancy fishin'.

Can't catch anything with

that. Oh, yes, you can.

Ahh.

What'd you get?

You get one?

Well, bring him in. Don't be afraid

of it. It's my fish, ain't it?

All right, go ahead. Why are

you tellin' me to bring him in?

Don't get tangled up

in my line.

Go ahead, break the boat.

Go ahead.

Bring him in.

Let me see him.

Oh, boy, is that a dandy.

Take it easy now.

That a boy.

Yeah.

All right,

that's number one.

I'm gonna throw this one over and

use it for bait and catch bigger fish.

Are you crazy?

No.

That's a big fish.

Don't throw it over.

Aw, look at you. Man, you

are crazy. Who's crazy?

Throwing a big fish...

What've we got?

Get ahold of him.

All right. Get ahold of him.

Let me see it.

What in the world

have you got on the end...

You've got the anchor down

there. Bring him up. Bring him up.

That a boy.

Look at the size of...

Hold him down.

Don't fight with him.

I think I just caught his kid brother

before. Everything's all right.

Put him down there. Don't

fight with him. Okay.

Know what I'm gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

Throw him over.

What for?

For bait.

Catch a big one.

What are you trying to do?

Look...

Throwing a big fish

like that overboard.

Aw, sit down.

Let's see what happens now.

I came here... Now what've you

got? Look what I've got now.

Careful he don't

pull you in now.

Get him up.

Oh, that must be a dandy.

Get him up. Give me that.

Bring him up.

All right, bring him up.

Give me that.

There, you got him.

Hold on to him now.

Ooh. Boy. Boy, he's a dandy.

Hey, don't lose that one.

I'm gonna bait this one up

and throw him over.

Are you crazy? I'm gonna

catch a bigger fish.

I told you not to...

Sebastian!

Sebastian!

Mr. Broad...

Mr. Broadhurst!

Hold on, Sebastian.

Sebastian.

Grab the rope.

Hook it onto your belt.

That a boy.

Come on, Sebastian. Hold on.

Hold on, Sebastian.

That a boy.

I figure this town is good

for about three more weeks.

There you are. There you are.

Give me your hand now.

That a boy. Hold it. Hold it. Are

you all right, Sebastian? Yeah. Hey.

What? Bailey's cabin is right below.

I can hear every word he's sayin'. Yeah?

Let me down easy. All

right. Take it easy now.

We'll work our way

down to New Orleans,

and by the time we arrive we'll be able

to open the finest place in Louisiana.

Got a head on those beautiful

shoulders, Miss Bonita.

We've made a lot of money

on this showboat, Miss Farrel.

Why don't we give the boat back to

Captain Sam and go on to New Orleans?

Because Captain Jackson's

reputation for honesty...

is our biggest

stock in trade.

Mr. Crawford, if I were you, I'd stop worrying

about that silly old goat and his daughter.

As long as we got

these notes,

we've got him

right where we want him.

What's the matter?

I must be seeing things. I just saw this side

of my face staring at me with lather on it.

You usually have

your nightmares at night.

Now you're having them

in the daytime too.

Pour yourself

another drink.

Guess I must've been

mistaken.

Ooh! What's the matter? What's the matter?

That.

Now listen.

Captain Sam's notes

are in Bailey's wallet.

Yeah.

We've got to locate them.

What are you talkin' so hoarse

for? Never mind that. Keep quiet.

Well, come on.

No noise.

Ooh! Oh!

Is he awake?

No. Put that candle up.

Shh. Take it easy. Now, let's find those

notes. That's what we've got to locate.

Mr. Broadhurst.

What?

Look in here and see if

anything's in there. Ahhh.

Never mind that. Sometimes

you find them in books.

Look over there. Look over there. Go ahead.

Don't make any noise!

Hey, shall I make sure

he's asleep?

Yeah, go ahead. Make

sure he's asleep. Okay.

Go ahead. Hey!

Not that way!

It won't hurt much. Yeah,

but you'll wake him up.

Put that down.

Load the guns, men.

Sound the bugle.

Shh.

Call the general.

Shh.

The Indians are attacking.

He's having a nightmare. Don't

wake him up, or he'll murder us.

Indians.!

I'm surrounded...

with Indians.

Ahhh. I see you,

hiding behind that tree!

No. No.

I wanna see the Indians.

Shut up!

No.

There you are. Now I've got

you. Don't push. Don't push.

Now I've got you, you pesky

little rat! Don't push! Look out!

Shh! Shh! Tryin' to pull a

bow and arrow on me, were you?

Shhh! Tryin' to... Bite

the dust, you varmint!

Quiet. I must tell this to the general.

Don't wake him up.

Where? Where

did the little Indian go?

Don't tell him. Don't

tell him. Don't tell him.

Ahhh. Ahhh.

Shh. Shh. Tryin' to fool with me, were you?

Come out of there, you...

Come out of there!

Come out of there! Tryin'

to pull a tomahawk on me!

Quiet. Quiet. Maybe this

will teach you a lesson!

Don't wake him up.

Don't wake him up.

Shhh. This I must tell to the general.

It's all right, it's all right.

Here's your hat.

Shh. Don't go away.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes