The Odd Couple Page #6
- G
- Year:
- 1968
- 105 min
- 6,603 Views
Why didn't you throw it?
so insane with myself.
Then why don't you throw the cup?
I'm trying
to control myself.
Why are you trying
to control yourself?
What do you mean? Why?
You were angry.
You felt like throwing the cup.
Why didn't you throw it?
Because I would still be angry
and I would have a broken cup.
How do you know?
Maybe you'd feel wonderful.
Why do you have to control
every single thought
that comes into your head?
Why don't you let loose
once in your life?
Do something that you
feel like doing,
not what you think
you're supposed to do.
Stop controlling yourself, Felix!
Relax! Get drunk! Get angry!
Ow! I hurt my arm!
You're hopeless.
You're a hopeless mental case.
I shouldn't throw with that arm.
I've got bursitis.
Why don't you
live in a closet?
I'll leave your meals
outside the door
and slide in the newspapers.
Oh, cut it out. I hurt easily.
I can't help the way I am.
You're not going
to cry, are you?
dripping on your arm
is what gave you bursitis.
Let me tell you something, Oscar.
I may not be the easiest person
in the world to live with,
but you could have
done a lot worse...
a whole lot worse.
How?
I put order in this house.
For the first time in months,
you're saving money,
you're sleeping on clean sheets,
you're eating hot meals
for a change,
and I did that.
Yes, that's right.
Then at night, after we've had
your halibut steak
in your tartare sauce,
I have to spend
the rest of the evening
watching you Saran-Wrap
the leftovers.
Felix, when are you and I
going to have some fun...
a little relaxation...
get out of the house?
What are you talking about?
We have fun.
Eat over the plate.
Fun? Listen, getting
a clear picture
on channel two is not
my idea of whoopee.
Sometimes we read. Sometimes we talk.
Yeah. I read, and you talk.
I try to work, and you talk.
I go to sleep, and you talk.
We got your life
arranged pretty good,
but I'm still looking
for a little entertainment.
What are you saying...
I talk too much?
Nah. I'm not complaining.
You got a lot to say.
What's worrying me
is I'm beginning to listen.
You're not going to
hear another peep out of me.
You're not going to
give me a haircut, are you?
I'm going to cut up
some cabbage and greens
and make coleslaw for tomorrow.
I don't want any coleslaw
for tomorrow!
I just want to have
some fun tonight.
I thought you liked my coleslaw.
I love your coleslaw.
I swear, I love it.
I'll take your
coleslaw with me
to work tomorrow,
but not tonight.
Let's go out of the house.
All right, let's go.
I only make it for you.
I don't like coleslaw.
If you wanted to go out,
why didn't you say so?
You think I like
working and slaving
in the kitchen all day long?
Strike! Ow!
Hey, how about that?
Oscar, you're right.
When you're right, you're right.
A person has to get
out of the house once in a while.
Hmm?
Yeah.
Oh, yes, bowling...
Bowling is wonderful exercise, Felix,
but that's not
the kind of relaxation
I had in mind.
I mean, the night was made
for other things.
Like what?
Like unless I get to touch
something soft
in the next two weeks,
I'm in big trouble.
Oh, you mean women?
If you want to give it a name,
all right, women.
That's funny. I haven't thought
of women in weeks.
I fail to see the humor.
Look,
all I'm saying is,
why don't we spend one night
talking to someone
You mean...
That's what I mean.
I can't.
Why not?
I'm just not ready for it yet.
I don't want to discuss it.
Let's bowl.
I intend to go out.
I get as lonely
as the next fella,
but I've only been separated
a couple of weeks.
Give me a little time, will you?
There isn't any time left.
I saw TV Guide, and there's
nothing on this week.
What am I asking you,
for crying out loud?
All I want to do
is have dinner and some laughs
with a couple of girls.
Can't you go out yourself?
Why do you need me?
I may want to come back
to the apartment.
If we walk in and find you
washing the windows,
it puts a damper on things.
I'll take a pill and go to sleep.
Why take a pill
when you can take a girl?
Because I'd feel guilty.
I'm sorry, but that's why.
If it doesn't make sense to you,
it's the way I feel.
Go ahead and shoot.
Anyway, who would I call?
I don't even know
any single girls.
Leave that to me.
Two sisters live in our building...
English girls.
One's a widow,
the other one's a divorcee.
They're a barrel of laughs.
How do you know?
I was trapped in the elevator
with them last week.
Please, Felix.
Please just say yes.
I can call them now.
Please say yes for my sake.
If it means that much to you...
Atta baby. That's the Felix
I've been waiting for.
Wait. What do they look like?
Don't worry. Yours is very pretty.
Excuse me.
We're all set.
Which one do I get?
The divorcee.
Why do I get the divorcee?
I don't care.
You want the widow?
I don't want the widow.
I don't even want the divorcee.
I'm just doing this
for you.
Take whoever you want.
When they walk in,
point to the sister of your choice.
I just want some laughs.
What are they... old...
I mean, how? 30, 35, older?
What's the matter with you?
They're young.
They're young kids.
Where did you say you met them?
Did they want to meet me?
Don't forget and suddenly
call one of them Frances!
It's Gwendolyn and Cecily!
No Frances!
Gwendolyn and Cecily!
"Rule, Britannia,
Britannia, rule the waves"
Supposing my kids see me?
with foreign girls.
I've got two American
kids to support.
Where are we going to have dinner?
What?
Where are we going to have dinner?
Anywhe...Anywhe...
Anywhere you say.
Chinese, Italian...
You mean a restaurant?
It will cost a fortune.
We'll cut down on laundry.
We don't wear socks on Thursdays.
We can't afford restaurants.
We'll eat here.
Here?
I'll cook. We'll save $30, $40.
What kind of a double date is that?
Well, you'll be
in the kitchen all night!
No, I won't. I'd put it up
in the afternoon.
Once I get my potatoes in,
I got all the time in the world.
What happened
to the whole new Felix?
Who are you calling?
Frances. I want to get
her recipe for meat loaf.
The girls will be
crazy about it.
I'd like fresh ground.
That's fresh.
That's not fresh.
That's packaged. I want fresh.
How much?
Is that one ripe?
Not for tonight. Couple of days.
Thank you.
Hey. Beautiful.
Beautiful!
I'm home, dear!
Something wonderful
is going on in that kitchen.
I am the luckiest man on Earth.
Felix...Felix.
Felix, listen. I got the wine.
Batard-Montrachet. $6.25.
You don't mind, do you, pussycat?
We can walk to work
this week. Ha ha!
No kidding, Felix.
You did a great job.
One little suggestion...
Let's come down
a little bit with the lights
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"The Odd Couple" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_odd_couple_15085>.
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