The Odd Couple II Page #7

Maybe Hannah is the wacky one.

Hannah, wacky?

My Hannah, wacky?

Stop repeating that,

it sounds like a Hawaiian hotel.

I don't know which one caused this!

If he breaks her heart that boy

will have to deal with me!

Are you threatening to get physical

with my son?

If that's what it takes - yes!

Get your nose off my nose before

I sneeze your brains into a tiny Kleenex!

- That's it!

- They found him!

They found him!

- A police helicopter spotted him.

- Where?

Do you need assistance?

He's not going anywhere.

Everybody, please back off!

He's not on the roof because

he's anxious to speak to everyone.

- I'll go alone.

- How will we know what's going on?

I'll tell him to talk loud.

Hello, Brucey!

- Beautiful day, isn't it?

- Hiya, Pop.

I hope you don't think I'm meddling,

but are you coming to the wedding?

I was thinking about it. I was thinking

I'd be making a big mistake.

- Why is that?

- I don't trust marriage.

If you look at everyone here.

Look at my own family.

Mom was married three times.

You were married one time

and then never again for 30 years.

Hers were too many, yours not enough.

What is wrong with it,

that frightens everyone so much?

I don't know. It's like baseball.

Either you can play or you can't play.

Your mother could play, I couldn't.

Trouble with your mother is

she kept getting traded all the time.

- That's not the answer I was looking for.

- Why did you wait to ask the question?

Because it's what I thought I wanted.

Now I know that it's not what I want.

- Are you sure?

- I'm sure.

- Then get out of it. Don't do it.

- You mean it?

Let me go and talk to the others.

I'll figure something out to say.

Pop...

Dad...

The thing is...

- I really love her.

- Sure you love her, now.

You'll have two years of excitement

and 45 years of hell. Trust me.

I will always love her. She is the best

thing that has ever happened to me.

Would you be willing

to gamble your life on that?

I know I haven't been there

enough for you.

But this is the best advice I'll give you.

Not getting married

is the right thing to do!

Maybe it's right for you,

it's wrong for me.

You tell everybody

I'm getting dressed.

Thank God you said that.

I didn't know how long

I could keep on talking like an a**hole.

Thanks, Pop.

See you downstairs.

- Go away, we're not ready yet!

- Not even for your old man?

Dad?

Maria, let him in.

I come back soon.

But you smudge her dress, I kill you.

Dear God, I've just seen heaven

and it's in living colour.

Do you like it?

- Can I hug you?

- Yes, you better!

I would have postponed

if you didn't make it.

Have you seen Bruce?

Isn't he terrific?

Was it a terrible trip?

If you'd asked me that four hours ago,

I would've said '"the pits'".

But something happened on the plane

and everything's coming up roses.

You've met someone.

- I'll tell you later.

- No, say.

I don't want to keep you.

I can't keep you any longer, can I?

I hope you don't mind me

giving the bride away dressed like this.

You look great to me.

Mr Ungar, this just came for you.

On second thought,

maybe I'll spiff it up a little.

He's very sweet.

...with the power vested in me

by the state of California,

I now pronounce you

man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Isn't this terrific!

Brucey baby! What a putzie!

Don't cry.

Good luck. Take care of my boy.

He needs a lot of cereal in the morning.

Congratulations, Blanche.

- Are you still allergic to my perfume?

- No, that's gone.

It triggered an old memory in my sinuses.

Excuse me.

Isn't she incredible?

Yeah, she's very beautiful.

Listen, Brucey...

I want you to take these

for you and Hannah.

No, Pop, I know you're strapped for cash.

The gesture is enough.

What I have here is not cash.

Please, take it.

Baseball cards!

You knew I always used to save these.

Not those. I've had these since before

you were born. These are first editions.

Mickey Mantle in his rookie year.

George Herman Ruth,

sometimes known as Babe Ruth.

Today that's worth $22,000.

I can't take these.

Hold them until your kids are 18.

It might buy him a week or two in college.

You're the greatest.

Well, I'm getting tired.

Come on, walk me in.

No chance of you moving out here?

To where, Santa Yocinta,

Malinta, Caliente, Maliguena?

I'm not learning a new language

just to find my way home at night.

It feels good to be

in clean pyjamas again.

My God, was that a wedding?

I am so glad that the kids

loved the silver tray.

You never told me what you gave them.

Not that it's any of my business.

Tomorrow night

I'll be sleeping in my own bed.

It's not great but I love it

because it never talks during the night.

I'm sorry, Oz. It's just, you know...

It may be another 17 years

before we see each other again.

That's a date.

- Let me tell you...

- Felix, please!

We got to be on that airport bus

at 9:
00 am. I got to get some sleep.

I forgot to tell you, no bus. Leece has hired

a limo to take us to the airport.

Who's Leece?

- Felice. I call her Leece and she likes it.

- Does she call you Lix?

And I'm not going back to New York.

I'm going to spend some time

up in San Fran.

Lix and Leece in San Fran?

What the hell is going on?

I may spend a few days or the rest

of my life. We really hit it off tonight.

- I've heard you say that before.

- This may be the last time.

I hope so. I really do.

Boy, am I exhausted.

GN.

- '"GN'"?

- Good night.

Gate 46. Where is that?

It's down at that end.

We're at the other end.

I'll change your ticket, give you and Oscar

a chance to say goodbye.

Yeah, OK.

Bye, Oscar.

Have a wonderful flight.

You too, Leece.

- I'll be right there.

- She's very nice.

She looks like she's got a lot of dogs.

You're gonna be walking a lot of dogs.

You think I'm making a mistake?

I don't give that kind of advice

twice on a weekend.

This could be my last chance.

I really want to give it a good try.

- I wish you the best.

- You do?

- My best doesn't always mean much.

- It does to me.

OK, Felix. That's enough.

Stop it, she's going to think

we have something going.

Who gets the bagel

with the tofu cream cheese?

- That's mine.

- Millie.

- Here we go.

- Thank you, darling.

And I have here a soy bean

facsimile corned beef sandwich.

That's me.

- Are you in this game?

- Can a duck swim? For 20 cents, I'm in.

- You didn't look at your cards.

- At these prices I'll take the plunge.

This cheesecake is hard as a rock!

That's the wax model

they keep in the window.

If you like the way it looks,

I'll order it.

Tell us about the wedding.

What did they serve?

- Veal Alphonso.

- How did they make that?

A guy name of Alphonso

comes in early...

I'll get it.

Must be the pizza I ordered.

For tonight?

From before the wedding.

I forgot to cancel it.

Coming!

Hi, Oz. I was in the neighbourhood

so I thought I'd drop in.

What a surprise.

Is Felice with you?

No, it didn't work out.

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