The Outcasts Page #4
and you have a date with destiny.
Find love today.
Things are happening.
Raise your hand if
you've ever eaten lunch
in a bathroom stall.
Been made fun of because of your weight,
ethnicity, sexual orientation,
or knowledge of the
periodic table of elements.
Well it's time we did
something about it.
It's time you got to the point.
It's been 42 seconds and I still
don't know your product,
your plan or your profit point.
If you want to endlessly
pontificate start a blog.
We have a blog.
It's called,
WeCanTellYouThePlan.tumbler.com.
Oh no, here comes angry black girl.
Oh I'm not angry because I'm black.
I'm angry because I'm paying attention.
All we're saying is that
if we don't stick together,
we have no chance of standing
up to the evil empire.
What you're proposing is
like the Rebel Alliance.
Star Wars, classic sci-fi.
I'm sorry to interrupt,
but I think Star Wars
technically constitutes fantasy.
Uh in what galaxy?
It's an archetypal hero's quest.
That's fantasy.
Um yeah, set in a technologically
advanced society
with space ships.
And sword fighting.
Light sabers are not swords.
What about the Force?
That's magic.
Which was scientifically
explained by midichlorians.
Are you actually citing
Why do we have two sci-fi nerds here?
He's sci-fi, I'm fantasy.
It's totally different.
Totally different.
But neither of you get laid, right?
This is exactly the problem.
What is a popular person?
What makes them different from us?
Attractiveness.
Flawless skin.
A large number of followers.
Wrong.
That's what they want you to think
because they need you to believe
that it's hard to be popular.
The only difference between them and us
is that they are unified.
So while we're sitting here
tearing each other apart
over who would win in a battle
between Batman and Green Lantern.
- Batman.
- Green Lantern.
They're sitting pretty
and ruling our school.
So what are you asking for,
blind loyalty,
that we just pretend we're all friends?
No, not blind loyalty, real loyalty.
We all have something in common.
We've been kept on
the outskirts of a school
that we help make great and...
We are the movers and the shakers.
We are the club presidents
and the innovators.
We are the ones with our hands
on the beating pulse of otherness
that make America the best
effing country in the GD world.
So I say let's stop
bending over and taking it
and stand together.
And so it began, our Independence Day.
At first, the changes were small,
a smile here,
a random act of
non-douche baggery there.
In shared struggles, former
enemies forged new alliances.
Lactards unite.
Some of us learned the ancient art
of not getting our asses kicked.
So I'll try not to hurt you too...
Some of us combined forces
to design innovative solutions
to age-old problems.
What's up, turtleneck?
I lost my iPhone and
I'm gonna need yours.
You've got five seconds to hand it over.
What the hell is that?
What are you gonna do, Dildo Baggins?
Hi-yah!
Get him!
Smells like Comic Con in here anyway.
Yes!
And once the outcasts
became a united front,
the rest of the school
fell like dominoes.
Political power, check.
Never getting picked last again.
Come on!
Check.
You guys can suck it!
And that is why the singularity is near.
Debate tournaments were in.
Organized sports were out.
And slowly, things began
to actually change.
Dork was the new popular.
Ow!
We couldn't believe it.
breaking bread together.
We should do something to celebrate
how awesome we are.
Yeah, even the goths look kind of happy.
Guys, we just pulled off the
bloodless coup of the century
and it is...
Probably just a phase or something.
Like I herd Mercury is
supposedly going renegade.
Here's the truth.
One day, I will be in a place
where power isn't determined
by acned suburban subliterates
and that place will be Princeton.
But for now, I have to
cater to these morons
who apparently think
pretending they're popular
actually means they're popular.
What's law number five?
Much depends on our reputation.
Guard it with our life, get it?
We are our reputation.
So right now I'd say it's
pretty clear that we are...
Mmm toast.
The thing about power
is when you don't have it,
someone else does.
So you say phase and I say insurrection
and if Stalin taught us anything,
the only response to
insurrection is to crush it.
Quickly.
Stephanie, purple is
definetely your color.
Chase, good luck on that
first chair open audition.
Sarah, your Blanche
DuBois was transcendental.
Hey, you, me, Magic the Gathering.
Fifth period, whoo!
Oh Mr. Samules.
Methane!
I'm just goofing.
Oh well.
Nice balls, Milton.
Shenanigans.
Geez, like Pandora's box opened up
and it was filled with
weirdos and losers.
Oh what's that?
Yup.
Every scientist needs an arch nemesis.
He's right though.
The school does seem different lately.
You have anything to do with that?
I can neither prove nor
disprove that hypothesis.
Well whoever is responsible,
I can't help but thinking it is
exactly the type of person
who would go over like
gangbusters in an MIT interview.
Gangbusters.
I don't know, I've got
it narrowed down to two.
I've got maroon and black
and I'm not sure which
goes better with my dickey,
but my dickey kind of
goes with everything
and I keep thinking what would
Neil deGrasse Tyson do,
but then again I'm not
Neil deGrasse Tyson,
but then again.
Mindy, Mindy, stop worrying.
They'd be Darwin Award grade
morons not to take you.
I keep imagining how great
it would be next year,
me at MIT, you coming
to live with me in Boston.
Um Mindy, there's something I've...
Oh oh!
Okay, I gotta go, that's my mom.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
But then in ninth grade, the
Young Astronomers Association
selected me for the Rising Star Award,
which I accepted despite the lazy pun
and then in 10th grade,
I won second prize
at the state science fair
for my project anisotropic
versus isotropic materials.
Okay Mindy, it's clear that
you're a really talented scientist.
Great grades, great test scores.
But what makes you tick?
What makes you special?
Like okay, when I was at MIT,
I was a member of the Hacks, right.
Learned more from
pulling off those pranks
than in any class I took so.
Well as I mentioned,
I am president of the
School Science Club
and a national merit scholar
and I can recite the entire
periodic table of elements.
Would you like me to?
I can do it.
There's antimony, arsenic,
aluminum, selenium
and hydrogen and oxygen
and nitrogen and rhenium
and nickel, neodymium,
neptunium, germanium
and iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium
and lanthanum and osmium
and astatine and radium
and gold and protactinium
and indium and gallium...
And iodine and thorium
and thulium and thallium.
There's...
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"The Outcasts" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_outcasts_21011>.
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