The Outcasts Page #4

and you have a date with destiny.

Find love today.

Things are happening.

Raise your hand if

you've ever eaten lunch

in a bathroom stall.

Been made fun of because of your weight,

ethnicity, sexual orientation,

or knowledge of the

periodic table of elements.

Well it's time we did

something about it.

It's time you got to the point.

It's been 42 seconds and I still

don't know your product,

your plan or your profit point.

If you want to endlessly

pontificate start a blog.

We have a blog.

It's called,

WeCanTellYouThePlan.tumbler.com.

Oh no, here comes angry black girl.

Oh I'm not angry because I'm black.

I'm angry because I'm paying attention.

All we're saying is that

if we don't stick together,

we have no chance of standing

up to the evil empire.

What you're proposing is

like the Rebel Alliance.

Star Wars, classic sci-fi.

I'm sorry to interrupt,

but I think Star Wars

technically constitutes fantasy.

Uh in what galaxy?

It's an archetypal hero's quest.

That's fantasy.

Um yeah, set in a technologically

advanced society

with space ships.

And sword fighting.

Light sabers are not swords.

What about the Force?

That's magic.

Which was scientifically

explained by midichlorians.

Are you actually citing

the prequels to me right now?

Why do we have two sci-fi nerds here?

He's sci-fi, I'm fantasy.

It's totally different.

Totally different.

But neither of you get laid, right?

This is exactly the problem.

What is a popular person?

What makes them different from us?

Attractiveness.

Flawless skin.

A large number of followers.

Wrong.

That's what they want you to think

because they need you to believe

that it's hard to be popular.

The only difference between them and us

is that they are unified.

So while we're sitting here

tearing each other apart

over who would win in a battle

between Batman and Green Lantern.

- Batman.

- Green Lantern.

They're sitting pretty

and ruling our school.

So what are you asking for,

blind loyalty,

that we just pretend we're all friends?

No, not blind loyalty, real loyalty.

We all have something in common.

We've been kept on

the outskirts of a school

that we help make great and...

We are the movers and the shakers.

We are the club presidents

and the innovators.

We are the ones with our hands

on the beating pulse of otherness

that make America the best

effing country in the GD world.

So I say let's stop

bending over and taking it

and stand together.

And so it began, our Independence Day.

At first, the changes were small,

a smile here,

a random act of

non-douche baggery there.

In shared struggles, former

enemies forged new alliances.

Lactards unite.

Some of us learned the ancient art

of not getting our asses kicked.

So I'll try not to hurt you too...

Some of us combined forces

to design innovative solutions

to age-old problems.

What's up, turtleneck?

I lost my iPhone and

I'm gonna need yours.

You've got five seconds to hand it over.

What the hell is that?

What are you gonna do, Dildo Baggins?

Hi-yah!

Get him!

Smells like Comic Con in here anyway.

Yes!

And once the outcasts

became a united front,

the rest of the school

fell like dominoes.

Political power, check.

Never getting picked last again.

Come on!

Check.

You guys can suck it!

And that is why the singularity is near.

Debate tournaments were in.

Organized sports were out.

And slowly, things began

to actually change.

Dork was the new popular.

Ow!

We couldn't believe it.

Every flavor of weirdo was

breaking bread together.

We should do something to celebrate

how awesome we are.

Yeah, even the goths look kind of happy.

Guys, we just pulled off the

bloodless coup of the century

and it is...

Probably just a phase or something.

Like I herd Mercury is

supposedly going renegade.

Here's the truth.

One day, I will be in a place

where power isn't determined

by acned suburban subliterates

and that place will be Princeton.

But for now, I have to

cater to these morons

who apparently think

pretending they're popular

actually means they're popular.

What's law number five?

Much depends on our reputation.

Guard it with our life, get it?

We are our reputation.

So right now I'd say it's

pretty clear that we are...

Mmm toast.

The thing about power

is when you don't have it,

someone else does.

So you say phase and I say insurrection

and if Stalin taught us anything,

the only response to

insurrection is to crush it.

Quickly.

Stephanie, purple is

definetely your color.

Chase, good luck on that

first chair open audition.

Sarah, your Blanche

DuBois was transcendental.

Hey, you, me, Magic the Gathering.

Fifth period, whoo!

Oh Mr. Samules.

Methane!

I'm just goofing.

Oh well.

Nice balls, Milton.

Shenanigans.

Geez, like Pandora's box opened up

and it was filled with

weirdos and losers.

Oh what's that?

Yup.

Every scientist needs an arch nemesis.

He's right though.

The school does seem different lately.

You have anything to do with that?

I can neither prove nor

disprove that hypothesis.

Well whoever is responsible,

I can't help but thinking it is

exactly the type of person

who would go over like

gangbusters in an MIT interview.

Gangbusters.

I don't know, I've got

it narrowed down to two.

I've got maroon and black

and I'm not sure which

goes better with my dickey,

but my dickey kind of

goes with everything

and I keep thinking what would

Neil deGrasse Tyson do,

but then again I'm not

Neil deGrasse Tyson,

but then again.

Mindy, Mindy, stop worrying.

They'd be Darwin Award grade

morons not to take you.

I keep imagining how great

it would be next year,

me at MIT, you coming

to live with me in Boston.

Um Mindy, there's something I've...

Oh oh!

Okay, I gotta go, that's my mom.

Wish me luck.

Good luck.

But then in ninth grade, the

Young Astronomers Association

selected me for the Rising Star Award,

which I accepted despite the lazy pun

and then in 10th grade,

I won second prize

at the state science fair

for my project anisotropic

versus isotropic materials.

Okay Mindy, it's clear that

you're a really talented scientist.

Great grades, great test scores.

But what makes you tick?

What makes you special?

Like okay, when I was at MIT,

I was a member of the Hacks, right.

Learned more from

pulling off those pranks

than in any class I took so.

Well as I mentioned,

I am president of the

School Science Club

and a national merit scholar

and I can recite the entire

periodic table of elements.

Would you like me to?

I can do it.

There's antimony, arsenic,

aluminum, selenium

and hydrogen and oxygen

and nitrogen and rhenium

and nickel, neodymium,

neptunium, germanium

and iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,

europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium

and lanthanum and osmium

and astatine and radium

and gold and protactinium

and indium and gallium...

And iodine and thorium

and thulium and thallium.

There's...

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