The Outcasts Page #5

Hey.

I saw you dancing.

What's going on?

What you listening to?

Um Bowie.

What's that, Nickelback?

Oh yeah, huge Nickelback fan.

Love it.

Canadian icons.

You like Carole King?

It makes me feel like a natural woman.

Who can't relate to that,

you know what I mean?

Let's not forget that

the last time I saw you,

you and your friends orchestrated

the most humiliating moment of my life.

Yeah, okay.

First of all, I'm sorry.

I had no idea that was gonna happen.

Do you think that anyone knows

what's going on in American

Psycho Barbie's head?

No and second of all,

that stuff was not humiliating.

Except in all the ways

that it was humiliating.

I'm surprised you didn't change schools.

But here look, hey, positive side.

Eczema song, knocked it out the park.

- Can you just not?

- Rickets.

Do you have a song about

rickets for my grandad?

He's got rickets.

I don't, I don't get it.

I guess you wouldn't get it,

you're a young woman, very healthy.

No.

I mean, you know,

you seem like you aren't

a completely heinous human being

and have at least a modicum of a soul.

That is the sweetest thing

that anyone's ever said to me.

Thank you.

How can you hang out with Adolf Whitler?

Look, trust me, I know how awful she is.

What you think you have

a copyright on teen angst?

It's high school, we're all put

into a box and marginalized.

Look at me, I hang out with Colin.

I've known Colin since the second grade.

The guy is, he's an idiot.

But what am I supposed to do?

Not all of us have the guts

to stage a full-scale rebellion.

Mindy's the brains behind the operation.

You just write the theme music?

Look um, for what it's worth,

I'm glad you didn't transfer schools.

My hand's on your shoulder.

Full contact, shoulder touching.

Pound it, blow it up.

- Explosion.

- Yeah.

Okay.

Oh um by the way,

Bowie totally made weird awesome.

Check mate.

Killing it.

People think pretty girls

can't be smart,

but it's like don't pigeon hold me.

Uh don't you mean pigeon hole?

Ew, what's a pigeon hole?

What's a pigeon hold?

It's like if you hold onto a pigeon,

it can't fly away.

- Yeah.

- It's like let me fly.

Where the hell is everyone?

Hey Mackenzie, look at that.

You like that?

I think everyone's at the lame party.

Really?

That's awesome.

What the hell is your problem, hmm?

You know what my problem is?

You're uh you're super evil.

You're like African rebel

group dictator evil

and I can't do it anymore.

So I think I'm gonna

check out the lame party

where I hear the hosts

aren't total ass hats.

You'll fit right in.

I think I'm gonna go to that party too.

It sounds like there's girls there.

Dude.

I think someone should

probably scope it out too.

You know, like do some

double agent shenans.

Mackenzie!

Hey, so what's in this anyway?

My own personal secret blend

of choice chemicals

and a dash of genius.

I call it Lipschitz and giggles.

You're right, I do have

the vague urge to laugh.

Whoa, looks like I picked

the right party.

Oh Dan, right?

- Dave.

- Dave, Dave like..

- Like Dave.

- Like Dave.

So do you know anyone

who can get me into

the Whitney protection program?

Oh my god.

Tell me everything.

And for you.

Who wants Lipshots?

So Principal Whitmore gave

you two months detention

for protesting the summer reading list?

I always heard it was because

you threw a flash bomb into glee club.

That was just a rumor I started.

Well we should organize a protest.

What do you know about

protesting, Pollyanna?

I know you think Girl Scouts are silly,

but the whole point is to empower girls

so we can change the world.

You know, Gloria Steinem,

Hilary Clinton,

and Sandra Day O'Connor

were all Girl Scouts.

Hmm maybe you're not as "puppies

and unicorns" as you seem.

I thought I would be

just better at jousting,

I don't know, like

'cause of a reach thing

'cause I have long arms.

'Cause you got those long, spindly ones.

Thank you, spindly ones, sure.

Oh whoa, there's a piano here.

You know what that means.

Will you write any new songs?

You know what, I actually

just wrote one in my head

called "Our Party is Way

Better Than Your Party."

It's weird.

Thank you, it's nice.

Sweet.

Actually...

I am working on one now.

But um...

It's stupid.

Oh I will be the judge of that.

Sit down.

Do I have to?

Yeah, yeah you're gonna

have to play a song for me.

Sorry.

I can't believe you're

making me do this.

All right.

On the outskirts going nowhere

But I've heard that

the truth is out there

I just hope one day I can show

There is more here

than what they know

And that's all I have.

That was all you?

That was great, are you kidding me?

That was awesome.

That was really good.

Thanks.

I was just thinking for the chorus.

What if it went.

Wow, I didn't know you played.

I don't like to let people

behind the candelabra.

It's my secret place.

So when do I get to hear

the rest of your songs?

Maybe...

Some time.

Later, maybe later, maybe later.

Hey, oh.

Oh hey guys.

Um I just wanted to let you

know that they're reenacting

the Battle of Trafalgar

out on the beach.

So...

Awesome, let's do that.

That's way better than...

Naval battle, huh?

Hmm?

I think I speak for everyone when I say

that Saturday's shindig

was one of the best,

nay, the best party of all time.

Here here.

Now, does anyone have anything

to bring to the council's attention?

Upcoming events, seminar ideas?

Yes.

Sugar and I did some

research and it turns out...

What about sabotaging the lacrosse team.

We've finally established

strategic dominance.

Now is the time to exploit our advantage

and those guys had it coming.

A few tablets of Ex-Lax

in the team's water coolers

and their bowels will

explode like krypton.

Do you think Steve Jobs

became the greatest visionary

of all time by being satisfied

with creating the iMac?

He changed it up and created the iPod,

then the iPhone, then

the iPod touch, then...

I got it, I got it.

I guess a little explosive

diarrhea never hurt anyone.

Yes!

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Hey, want to play Settlers of Catan?

Oh I can't.

My dad's new lady friend

is coming over with her kid

so we can all meet each other

even though it's only their second date.

Well that sounds fun.

All right, you guys gotta go.

You know how my parents feel

about organized labor, so.

Right.

Oh god.

What do I do?

Is it too neat?

Is my hair too neat?

Should I mess it up?

I mean, don't the ladies like it messy?

Oh, Herb.

Sweet, sweet Herb.

Listen, you haven't dated in awhile

so I feel the need to tell you that

at your age, women

aren't super concerned

with the way you style your hair

as much as they are impressed

that you still have hair.

Oh no.

Relax.

Awkward doesn't suit you.

Yes.

No awkward.

Okay.

- Hi.

- Hi.

You must be David, of course you are.

Who else would you be?

You wouldn't bring a date

to dinner, right?

I'm Herb.

Uh uh David, this is my daughter Jodi.

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