The Outcasts Page #6

Jodi, David.

Jodi, Carol, Carol, Jodi.

David, Carol, Herb, Jodi.

Everybody knows each other.

Introductions out of the way.

Come into the house please.

This is the way in.

Boom shaka laka laka

Boom shaka laka laka boom

Shaka laka laka boom

Jodi, it's Mindy.

Call me.

I suggested hey,

why not take the shorts up

an inch above the knee.

They said no, but with

respect they said no.

Um I also have made...

Hey, guys.

Just give me these, give me these.

You guys are done, right?

- Not quite, but.

- Mom's done, Mom's done.

Sure, thank you.

That's good.

Hey, hey.

What if they get married?

Then we almost committed stepcest.

Hey, you were the one

who went in for the kiss.

No, no way.

You were practically

undressing me with your eyes.

Undressing you?

Are you 40?

Mister oh I don't let many

people behind the candelabra.

Fine, we'll just chalk it

up to equal parts creepy.

I don't know where this goes.

So...

Friends it is?

Yeah, in the interest of not having

our family tree go in a circle friends.

I'm sorry, I realize referencing

having children with you

makes it more creepy.

Yeah, it did.

I got an operation plan to Photoshop

the cheerleaders' yearbook picture.

Can I get the green light?

I don't care, do what you want.

I have been looking for you all day.

Oh my god, last night was like

the seventh circle of awkwardness.

I called you.

I know.

It was insane.

I got waitlisted at MIT.

Wait, wha, wha?

No, no, no, there's gotta be a mistake.

Hey, I want names.

It doesn't matter.

Hey, guess who's coming to dinner?

We're joking.

Hey, did you hear?

Actually not.

- Um...

- Not a good time.

Her dad and my mom, they're

like totally dating now.

That's crazy.

Oh hey, side point.

I found a perfect song

for your audition.

Audition?

Thanks Dave, I'll take it from here.

It's just for a performing arts school.

In Boston?

In New York.

I was gonna tell you.

It's no big deal.

Of course it's a big deal.

I'm sure you'll get in

and it's a good thing you've got Dave

to help you with your audition.

Mindy, don't be mad.

I gotta go.

Yep.

Hey, we'll talk later, okay?

Sorry.

It's fine, let's just go.

Mindy Lipschitz,

please report to the principal's office.

This is an all new level.

Stealing chemicals and lab

equipment from the school?

Come on, Les, Mindy is

one of my best students.

She would never do that.

Really?

Why don't you have a look-see.

Okay, well that one is

clearly Photoshopped.

- Mindy.

- Well guess what.

You're out of the science club forever.

- This must be some mistake.

- Save it, sweater vest.

Luckily, we still have students

like Whitney Bennett who had the courage

to bring this sick delinquency

to my attention.

Get out of my office.

Mr. Samuels.

Why didn't you defend me?

What do you want me to do, Mindy?

You went to MIT,

the greatest academic institution

in the known universe

and you're still being bullied

by an overgrown frat boy.

Oh my god, you totally broke her.

Law 42, strike the shepherd

and the sheep will scatter.

Straight back to you.

Are you sure you want this?

I want it.

So phase change in pressure.

Can anyone tell me what

the exception to the rule of...

Brothers and sisters,

it is time to open your eyes.

Whitney Bennett, for four years

she has crafted

a meticulous image as

the rich girl who had it all.

Well brothers and sisters,

Whitney Bennett is not who you thought.

The mansion her family

supposedly lives in,

try the servants' quarters.

Her father, the hedge fund manager,

these are the only hedges

he's ever managed.

The mother who works in fashion,

only if this constitutes working

in the fashion industry.

Her older brother getting a master's

in business at Wharton.

The only business he's

mastered is delivering pizzas.

The truth is revealed.

The only reason Whitney

was always so intent

on exposing all of your weaknesses

was so that you would

never discover hers.

Whitney Bennett is a liar.

Dude.

What was that?

That was our revenge over Whitney.

You do realize that you

just did the same thing to her

that she did to me.

Exactly, it's called revenge.

I don't get what your problem is.

This is what you wanted.

We set out to change

things and we did it.

We won.

It doesn't feel like we won.

It feels like we're becoming the things

that we used to hate.

My whole life I played by the rules.

I did all my homework,

I colored in the bubbles

with my number two pencils

and what did it get me?

Teased, tortured, ignored,

waitlisted.

Do you know what turning

the other cheek gets you?

Two black eyes.

The old Mindy...

Was a pushover who thought

she was gonna go to MIT,

engineer the perfect hydrogen fuel cell

and get an element named after her.

Lipschitzium can still happen.

If you have a problem

with what you're doing,

you should do something about it.

If this is what it is...

Then I'm out.

So we had succeeded in creating

a new world order at

Richard Milhous Nixon High.

Turns out power is a potent drug

and with Whitney publicly humiliated

and officially dethroned,

the underlings of our school

had now become its overlords.

Dude, that was amazing.

I'm registered as a lethal weapon.

Well this sucks.

I told you we should have

just burned this mother down.

Here here.

Has anyone seen Whitney?

Oh she's gone AWOL.

I never thought I'd feel bad for someone

who affectionately references Stalin.

Now we should shove

his head into a toilet.

You know what I'm saying?

Look, I never meant for

things to go down like that.

Oh come on, don't tell

me you're not having

a dorkgasm over this.

Google alert, you did

the same thing to me

and did I go into hiding?

But your threshold for

humiliation was already so high.

No wait, I, I'm, s-s-s...

Were you trying to apologize?

It just gets stuck in my throat.

But I know you're right, okay.

You're right.

Okay.

Thanks.

I'm going to cut right to the chase.

I intend to rule this school next year.

But the only way you become the best

is by working for the best.

I thought that was Whitney,

but apparently I was wrong.

I won't pretend to like

your fashion choices.

But you've got a lot to teach me

and I'd like to offer my services

as your intern for the rest

of the school year.

Prom is almost here and

we still don't have a theme.

So I'd like you to rally

your various factions

to back my proposal for Ender's prom.

Support my bid for prom king,

I vote for whatever theme you want.

Wait, I'm running for prom king.

I'm the only one who knows how

to wield a sword effectively.

Whoa whoa whoa.

I thought we were letting Colin

win so we could prank him.

No, we never went over that.

I'm going to be king.

Um no, you're not gonna

be king, I'm gonna be king.

Mindy, I am willing to make you queen

with a five-year no-beheading clause.

A no beheading clause?

As I sat there listening,

I realized how ridiculous it all was.

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