The Parent Trap Page #5

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- What are you talking about?

- And my hair! Look at my hair.

I cut it for you. And my fingernails

I've bitten for you!

Of all the big-headed fathers!

All those days and weeks,

nothing but working!

And names and... Oh!

I tried to talk to her and she gets

hysterical. She's not making sense.

Let me speak to her for a minute, darling.

Make yourself scarce.

- Hello, darling.

- He's making a ninny of himself.

It came as quite a shock to you.

Men put things so badly.

Can't you and I discuss this calmly together

like grown-up women?

I'm sure we can.

You're not afraid to talk to me, are you?

I'm not afraid to talk to anybody.

You're old enough to understand

that wonderful mystery

that can happen between a man and woman.

I know what wonderful mystery

Daddy sees in you...

and I can't say I blame him either.

You're very nicely put together.

Your father underestimates you, I think.

I'm sure you won't, Vicky.

Susan, dear...

You've had him to yourself all this time

and I can understand that having

another woman around is an intrusion.

But all my life, I've hoped and waited

for someone like him -

someone gentle and mature,

rough-edged, but quick to laugh,

understanding and wise.

All things I love and cherish in him.

- Well, that's very refreshing.

- Why, dear?

Most girls run after Daddy

because he's so wealthy.

- You think I'd marry him for his money?!

- If the shoe fits, wear it.

I've tried to be friendly, but I'm going to

marry your father, so get used to the idea.

You wanna bet?

Honey, don't you play with the big girls.

You'll be in way over your head.

Operator.

Get me Western Union, please.

For Sharon? A child of her age

getting a telegram?

Let her read it. It belongs to her.

Who would be sending her a telegram?

Sharon?

"Alexander Graham. Three a.m."

- California.

- Who could she know in California?

Bertha Waterbury. This girl I met at camp.

Sensational girl.

It's a rather cryptic message.

What does it mean?

She's crazy about this boy, Alexander.

And he took her on a date until three a.m.

- A child of that age!

- Now, Mother...

Hello?

- Susan Evers?

- Yes.

- Go ahead.

- It's me again.

I know. I had a hard time

explaining your telegram.

Grandmother

went into a lecture on raising children!

You've got to believe me.

I'm in horrible trouble.

- Don't dramatise it.

- I'm not. It's serious.

- The worse thing.

- It's gone that far?

Mother ought to be here.

OK. Tomorrow morning I'll break the bomb.

How's Mother?

Kiss her for me, and Grandpa.

OK. Bye.

Oh! Hi, Grandpa.

Hi... Susan.

- Susan?

- Yes. Sit down.

I think you and I

ought to have a little chat.

We've got the Picasso exhibition

at four o'clock, Margaret.

- Are you coming, Charles?

- No, thank you.

Then Mrs Saunders' tea.

Caroline's daughter's coming.

- Really?

- Sharon, you've got dancing at 10.30.

Then straight on

to the musical appreciation course.

- Staimes can take her in your car, Charles?

- Yes.

- At three o'clock...

- I won't be able to do those today.

- What did you say?

- Sharon, you interrupted your grandmother.

I have something important to tell you.

Mother... I think what you and Daddy did

to us children is lousy! I think it stinks!

Sharon!

I'm not Sharon, I'm Susan.

Sharon is out in California with Daddy.

- Impossible.

- You can't be Susan.

But I am Susan! Sharon and I met at camp,

so we decided to switch places.

She bit her nails and I cut her hair.

And she's out in California with Dad,

swimming and riding my horse,

and I'm stuck with music lessons

that I hate!

Susan...

I'm sorry, Mother.

But I wanted to see you,

and I miss not having a mother.

I love you very much,

and I wondered if you could love me as me

and not as Sharon... please?

Oh, Susan.

Oh, my darling. Why didn't you let me know?

Why didn't you tell me?

I couldn't help it. I wanted to know what it

was like to have a mother and everything.

My baby.

- Susan, darling!

- Oh, Grandmother.

- She's exactly like Sharon.

- I know.

- Louise?

- What is it?

Louise.

- What is it?

- Most important.

What is it?

- They ought to be alone for a minute.

- Is that all?

Margaret hasn't seen her since she was one.

I'm her grandmother!

Louise, for once I'm putting my foot down.

Let them alone.

I've tried, Mother, honestly,

but I don't understand.

It doesn't mean your father and I

didn't love each other,

but sometimes people

just don't get on together.

So you have to switch us back again?

Legally, you belong to your father

and Sharon belongs to me.

His and hers.

Makes me feel like a bathroom towel.

It's lousy, isn't it?

Don't worry. We'll find a way.

Six months split.

That's how it's going to end up.

A lot of kids in camp had that problem.

Six months with one parent, six months

with the other - like a yo-yo.

I don't like it any more than you do,

but I'm not going to lose you now.

- Bettina, would you put this in your case?

- Yes, Ma'am.

- May I come in?

- Of course.

- I have you on the noon plane.

- That's not much time.

- Best I can do on short notice.

- Thank you.

Traffic's pretty heavy these days.

Are you wearing that dress on the trip?

- What's wrong with it?

- It's very nice.

Give my best to Mitch when you see him.

- I wonder what kind of a wife he has.

- Who said he's married?

A vital, romantic fellow like Mitch,

it's a cinch he's found a nice young wife.

I hope she likes the great outdoors

and can scale fish.

- No sour grapes now.

- Bettina, could you find my blue skirt?

Yes, Ma'am.

Margaret, I've got to hand it to you,

it shows strength of character not to go

with the new fashion trends in clothes.

What are you getting at?

I was just saying that...

Take your hairstyle...

- What's wrong with it?

- That's what I mean.

Women are wearing their hair

a little fuller...

- Are you looking for a fight?

- With my favourite daughter? No.

Don't get me wrong.

My goodness, you are what you are.

- I wouldn't change you for the world.

- Who's going to change?

- Stay the way you are.

- I certainly intend to.

A nice, reliable, settled,

comfortable woman,

who accepts the coming of age

with grace and dignity.

That's the most horrible thing

anybody could say!

You're flying off the handle and I only

came in to kiss you and wish you good luck.

Goodbye, daughter.

Goodbye.

Give my regards to Mitch.

Come to think of it,

that dress seems perfect for you.

I'm all packed. What time do we go?

On the noon plane. Have you got

everything in we wanted for Sharon?

- How would you like to stop in New York?

- Yeah! Why?

We could do some shopping

before we head west.

We got a nice calf there.

What's eating you?

You ever have the feeling that something's

gonna happen? Like a storm brewing?

No. Come on.

Verbena!

Verbena, we're here! Sharon!

Verbena! We're here!

Come on, Mother.

- Darling!

- Verbena.

Mrs Evers! You look wonderful.

Let me take your things.

- I'll take them inside. Oh, darling!

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