The Parent Trap Page #6

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- Verbena. How are you?

I'm fine. We've missed you.

- Thank you. Keep the change.

- Thank you.

I can't wait to show you

how lovely everything is.

- It was wonderful.

- Fine.

Mother! I'm so glad you came!

You look wonderful! What did you do?

- You like it?

- I love it.

Oh, darling!

Finally, both of you together at last.

- What do you think of each other?

- Fine.

We love each other.

- Hi, Sue.

- Hi.

- And just look at you. That short hair.

- I cut it, Mother.

- I like it!

- And I love yours, Mother.

- Where's your father?

- Out on a horse.

Are we in time?

- Time?

- Didn't you tell her?

Tell me what?

- Well...

- Dad's getting married.

Well...

- When is all this taking place?

- Saturday, supposedly.

She just infiltrated, Mother,

and before you knew it, Dad was hooked.

Mr Evers is slipping

into his second childhood.

He's old enough to know what he's doing.

Shall we get unpacked?

I'm dying to get into a hot shower.

- Want a beer?

- Yeah. Be in in a minute.

You know I don't say a word, but the things

that Vicky woman has been up to...

Really?

- Hi, Dad.

- Oh, hi.

- Look who's talking to me.

- Why shouldn't I talk to you?

Come on!

I can get married any time I want to!

You've been walking around the house

like a mummy for two days.

You, me, two days - nothing!

- Remember?

- Oh, you were...

I guess I have been acting sulky.

Sulky?

That's the understatement of the year.

Sulky? You've been plain impossible.

You've been monstrous!

Pouting is childish.

You're too old for that.

Not speaking to someone

because you're mad at them is...

- Feminine.

- Yes. The worst part of being feminine.

- The doorbell's ringing.

- Yes.

That's the minister and Miss Robinson

and you're to be polite to them.

Come here.

Hello.

Mitchell, I want you to meet Dr Mosby.

Dr Mosby, Mitchell Evers, the groom.

How beautiful! Isn't this lovely?

So masculine.

Mitch, it needs a woman's touch.

There's that angelic creature again.

- How are you today, Susan?

- Fine, thank you.

This is Reverend Mosby.

He's doing the marriage.

- How do you do.

- How do you do.

I've gotta change. Will you excuse me?

How would you like to be hostess?

Be polite.

- Hi, Dad.

- Hi, honey.

- There are some people downstairs.

- I know.

Your grandfather sends his love.

Your grandmother does too.

- She's downstairs.

- Who, Vicky?

- I've seen her.

- Well, I haven't.

- Susie...

- Did you want something?

No, honey. Never mind.

Mother, this is my wedding. You've had four.

- Why didn't you mix some drinks?

- We waited for you.

- Edna?

- Anything you have.

- The usual, darling.

- Reverend, I don't suppose you indulge?

Perhaps a little something

by way of a nuptial toast.

- Good.

- Bourbon, double, on the rocks.

Yes, sir.

Vicky, think how an outdoor ceremony

will look in the newspapers.

I'm inclined to agree, Mrs Robinson.

The Marco-Dennisons had their wedding

under a striped tent.

Last month it was.

The atmosphere was ideally apropos -

there in God's natural setting

under the trees. Thank you.

Thank you.

- Mitch!

- Upsadaisy, darling.

I think your idea about

having the wedding outside is wonderful.

Vicky can come down the walk...

It's all right, I've got him.

Give me your hand.

Mitch, darling!

- Are you all right?

- Yes, I'm all right!

I'll be back in just a minute.

- Mitch.

- Maggie.

- How are you?

- Fine, thanks. How are you?

I'm fine. Gee, you look...

- I've got people out there!

- Don't start yelling. Let me explain.

- If you just keep quiet, I'll tell you!

- What are you doing here?

If you stop screaming, she'll explain!

Surprise.

That's what I was trying to tell you.

Both of them?

The two of them together.

Maggie, how did it happen?

We met at camp

and the whole thing came out.

- They switched places on us.

- They what?

Sue came to Boston to be with me.

You mean this is Sharon?

I had Sharon all this time?

You're Sharon?

I wanted to know what you were like

and Susan wanted to meet Mother.

You are Sharon.

- You were only a tiny baby when I...

- You're not mad, are you?

No, sweetheart.

I just can't believe it's you.

- The trouble I had burping you.

- Daddy, really!

No. I mean it. I spent nights walking up

and down with you. Two o'clock feeds...

- And where was I?

- Well, it was half and half.

You used up more diapers than ten kids.

- Daddy, diapers!

- Yes, diapers.

- Look at you now. Look at her.

- I'm quite grown up.

- And quite without a father.

- Oh, honey...

- And I'm quite without a mother.

- Shh!

Girls, we'll discuss this later on.

I want to talk to your father now.

Come on, Sharon. They want to be alone.

Daddy...

Daddy, please don't marry that woman.

All right, Sharon. Run along now.

Will you look at that? I can't believe it.

The last time I saw them together, they were

that big and you were pushing them.

What a time for you to show up!

I'm going to get married!

I didn't know.

Sharon told me when I got here.

- That girl is my fiance.

- I know. I saw her.

All right. Let's have it.

- I think she's adorable!

- Sure you do.

- Except for what?

- I think she's a perfect dream.

Of course,

her eyes are a little close together.

Maggie, those tricks don't work any more.

Can you go and put on something decent?

I'm perfectly decent.

Running around in my bathrobe!

She'll come in

and it looks like we just...

- Like we what?

- Just go and put on some clothes!

Don't use that tone.

We're not married anymore!

This is my house

and you're not running around...

Don't start ordering me around!

Maggie, go on upstairs

and put on some clothes or...

Don't use force on me.

I lammed you once and I can do it...

- Stand back.

- Maggie, don't start that.

- Come on.

- Get your hands off me. I'm warning you.

- Did you have to do that?

- I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

Why do you have to get so physical?

I can't talk to you.

You're always trying to belt me.

- That's vicious.

- It can't be that bad.

- It is that bad!

- Let me see it.

- Leave it alone. You've done enough.

- Let me see.

Don't... Ow!

Mitch, stop acting like a big baby.

I didn't get a look at it.

- I want a doctor.

- Don't be ridiculous.

Mr Evers? The ladies were wondering...

Oh, excuse me.

Reverend?

Wait a minute, sir.

There's nothing wrong here.

There's nothing wrong at all.

It's pretty easy to explain. You see...

- This is my wife.

- Hello.

- How do you do.

- How do you do.

But what about?

Oh, no. Ex-wife.

She came out here - very unexpectedly -

to discuss some mix-up about the children,

and I merely suggested she put on

something decent because you...

Why am I telling you?

It's none of your business.

He didn't ask for an explanation.

You're babbling on as if there were...

something to hide.

Dr Mosby isn't at all shocked

at seeing me like this.

Of course he's shocked.

Running around in that get-up...

I'm not shocked. I see nothing

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