The Parent Trap Page #7

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wrong with your wife's attire.

- Ex-wife.

- She's very beautiful.

You see, I knew I liked you.

You'll find I'm not

without a sense of humour.

I find this situation fraught with humour.

Quite out of the everyday, as we say.

Could you excuse us for just a moment?

Maggie, will you try to be

a little understanding, please?

I've got to explain why you're here.

That's not going to be easy.

I suppose they'll want to meet me.

That's only natural.

I want to keep this above board.

Very well. I'll just slip

into something more comfortable.

Very funny.

- Dr Mosby, don't run away.

- I'll be here.

- I'll be back in a minute.

- I'll look forward to it.

A delightful woman, Mr Evers.

How ever did you let her slip away?

She's simply delightful.

- Why couldn't she go to a hotel?

- I didn't invite her.

- I knew it would go wrong.

- Nothing's wrong.

- Nothing's wrong?

- She's unpacked.

- She's staying the night?

- I won't have it!

You're reading implications into...

- Would you like to enjoy the garden?

- No. I'm enjoying this immensely.

- You are?

- Interesting situation.

Quite out of the everyday.

Yes. It sure is.

Edna, I guarantee

by tomorrow morning, she'll be...

Mitch, I will not have her

spending the night.

Vicky, she's not that kind of a woman.

She's a woman, that's enough.

Edna, she's not what you think at all.

First, she's from Boston.

She's older, more mature. She's had

two children. She's the motherly type.

Vicky, I swear you've got nothing to...

Sorry to keep you waiting.

I'm Margaret McKendrick.

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello, again.

And this must be Vicky.

I'd know you anywhere

from Mitch's description.

- I'm Mrs Robinson.

- Whoops!

- Sorry, Mitch.

- It could happen to anybody.

Vicky?

Oh, you are divine.

She's simply breathtaking.

- I was just thinking the same about you.

- At my age?

You are a sweet child.

- Mitch described you somewhat differently.

- He certainly did.

Excuse me.

You know

what husbands think about ex-wives -

an old comfortable worn-out shoe

cast in the closet.

Well, off with the old and on with the new,

eh? I must say, you are young.

- Isn't that lucky for Mitch?

- Yes.

I was thrilled to hear you were

going to take the plunge with old Mitch.

We must celebrate the occasion.

Mitch, open some champagne.

Tell me all about yourself.

We must get to be very good friends.

No! I don't want you to be friends.

That's not the idea.

- We have to be running anyway.

- Perhaps you'd better...

All good things have to end.

What a pity. Just as we were

getting to know each other.

So nice to have met you.

I know you won't be at the wedding,

but it'll be in the society columns.

- I never read them.

- What a shame.

I never go to funerals or weddings.

I prefer elopements. They're more romantic.

What a shame

you can't stay for dinner with us.

Yes. Vicky and I have a million things

to do - fittings and odds and ends to buy.

Just charge it all to Mitch. He's loaded.

- Oh? I didn't know.

- Didn't you?

Goodbye, it was so nice to have met you.

Goodbye, Vicky.

You're just as cute as you can be.

Bye.

Delightful, charming woman. Amazing

how he let her slip away from him.

You want me to lose my job?

Your pa will fire me.

- Please, Hecky.

- We're leaving tomorrow. Please?

No. I won't be

part of a conspiracy like this.

He'll do it, or he'll cook

his own meals for the next month.

A gypsy?

What happened to dinner?

- Dinner's being served on the patio.

- Whose idea's that?

- It's none of my never mind. I never...

- I know. You never say a word.

I mind my own business.

I've been doing that for years.

Verbena! What's all this?

Go and sit down, Daddy. Don't ruin it.

- Ruin what?

- Go and sit down. Dinner's ready.

Well! What's all this?

Don't ask me. I just got here. It's just

my house. Nobody ever tells me anything.

And dinner on the patio.

Was this your idea, Mitch?

No, it was not. What are you looking at?

Mitch, that eye looks dreadful.

You must put something on it.

- Don't concern yourself.

- Did you step on a rake?

No. A very well-bred, ladylike,

Bostonian matron pinned it on me.

Anybody I know? Oh, Verbena!

- It's special for tonight.

- It smells delicious.

- What do you call that?

- Veal Parmigian.

Veal? I hate that kind of stuff.

She knows that.

- What do you think you're doing?

- I may go out and kill myself.

Hecky, it's time!

Excuse me, Mitch. All right!

- Mitch, please don't laugh.

- What's the matter?

- Don't you see?

- Ladies and gentlemen...

the management

have some entertainment for you.

Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to introduce, direct from Boston,

playing Beethoven's Fifth Symphony

on the piano, Miss Sharon McKendrick.

What's all this noise?

Will you get off the stage?

I'm in the middle of a concert.

A concert? You're going to put

the paying customers to sleep.

You gotta get the new sound.

Let's compromise. You give a little,

I'll give a little. Let's get together.

That's it!

Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah

Why don't you and I combine?

Let's get together, what do you say?

We can have a swinging time

We'd be a crazy team

Why don't we make the scene?

Together

Oh oh oh oh

Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah

Think of all that we could share

Let's get together every day

Every way and everywhere

And though we haven't got a lot

We could be sharing all we've got

Together

Oh! I really think you're swell

Uh-huh! You really ring the bell

Oo-ee! And if you stick with me

Nothing could be greater

Say hey, alligator!

Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah

Two is twice as nice as one

Let's get together right away

We'll be having twice the fun

And you can always count on me

A gruesome twosome we will be

Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah!

That was wonderful, girls!

- Great!

- Marvellous!

- Come and have dinner.

- We got spaghetti and glop.

It's all right.

We've already had dinner in the kitchen.

Yes. You enjoy yourselves. We're going

to bed. Goodnight, Mom. 'Night, Dad.

Goodnight, Mom. Have fun.

- Goodnight, girls.

- Goodnight, kids.

How about those two little monkeys

putting that together?

- They've done more than that.

- What do you mean?

Don't you understand? The drippy candles,

the violin music, the Veal Parmigiana.

Martinelli's. Don't you remember?

- Oh...

- Our first date. They recreated it.

Crazy, sweet kids.

What?

Nothing.

What are we going to do about them?

We certainly can't keep them apart.

No, we sure can't do that.

I guess the only logical thing we can do

is try to share them.

You could take them for six months,

then I'd have them.

That way they'd be together.

- I think that's best. Don't you?

- Yes, I guess it is.

"Six months split".

That's what Susan calls it.

That's all we can do.

You know, Mitch,

all of a sudden, I'm very depressed.

It would have been worse if we'd

stayed together - all that fighting.

- Your Irish temper.

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