The Parent Trap Page #8

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- You were just as difficult.

Sure. I admit it.

It was a mistake in the beginning.

- Was it?

- It's pretty obvious, isn't it?

You haven't changed much.

The years have been good to you, Mitch.

Well? Aren't you going to return

the compliment?

Yeah. As a matter of fact,

Maggie, you look pretty good.

Don't stumble over the words.

You don't have to say them!

I mean it.

What did you do to yourself anyway?

Do to myself?!

16 plastic surgeons and a reconstruction job

on my face so I could be presentable!

Do you think I'm some troll who crawled out

of the woods to come calling on you?

I'm not as young as that simpering,

baby-faced, platinum doll who's hooked you.

- Don't get started on Vicky.

- Don't say anything about precious Vicky!

That plotz-faced child bride

and her electric hips!

- I'm sorry, Mitch.

- It always happens, doesn't it?

Yeah.

It won't happen any more.

I'm leaving in the morning with Sharon.

I really do mean this, Mitch. I wish you

the best of everything with Vicky.

Holy smokes!

What a lousy mess they made of that.

All our plans.

Mother and I will be leaving tomorrow.

Don't give up.

We've got all night to think of something.

Like what?

I don't know.

But something.

- Sharon! Taxi's waiting.

- I'm coming!

- Susan, aren't you coming to say goodbye?

- Be right there, Mother!

Sharon! Susan!

I'll send Susan back for Christmas.

I'll see that Sharon comes here for Easter.

I suppose that's the best way.

I suppose so.

What are you doing in those clothes?

Sharon, what is this?

We've thought it over

and we've come to a decision.

- We decided we were getting gypped.

- Yeah.

What do you mean?

We decided that we wanted

to spend our camp-out together.

- So whichever of us is Sharon...

- And we won't tell.

Whichever of us is Sharon

isn't going to Boston.

Don't get smart with me, girls.

Sharon, go upstairs and put your suit on.

- Are you sure she's Sharon?

- Of course she is.

Aren't you?

- Tough to tell, ain't it?

- Ain't it?

Isn't it! Stop this.

We're going to miss the plane.

That's the idea.

- Mitch, do something!

- Susan...

- Yes, Daddy?

- Yes, Daddy?

- That's not funny.

- That's not funny.

- That's not funny.

- This one is Susan - the smart alec.

- Are you sure?

- I know my own daughter, don't I?

You're not really sure, are you, Daddy?

- I'm not.

- I think they're ready to listen.

Here's the deal. We leave

for the camp-out immediately - all of us.

When you bring us back on Friday,

we'll tell you who's Sharon and who's Susan.

That's the deal. Take it or leave it.

What am I supposed to do for three days?

Stay home and knit?

It's not my fault. I can't tell them apart.

- Give them a spanking and make them tell!

- You don't spank 13-year-olds.

- Is she coming?

- That's part of the deal.

- I won't have it.

- Good morning, Vicky.

- I will not have you in the woods with her.

- You're right.

- Maggie, keep out of this.

- You can't leave her for three whole days.

- What would people say?

- Right. What do you suggest?

- I think you ought to come with us.

- Maybe I will.

It's the thing to do.

We'll have to get you another outfit.

I know where Mitch keeps his shirts

and we can find you some boots...

- Are they all coming with us?

- Yup.

- Hecky, here's some more stuff.

- Hi, Dad.

Here.

Why don't we get going?

Just fasten the belt a bit tighter.

- Where does she think she's going?

- She's coming along.

- Are you kidding?

- Nope.

- Here we are, Mitch. All ready.

- But she can't come along!

Girls, don't be rude.

Your father couldn't possibly

leave Vicky alone for three whole days.

- Let's get this show on the road.

- Vicky, you sit beside Mitch.

- If you don't mind.

- My pleasure.

- You and Vicky ought to be up there alone.

- What are you saying?

- Maggie, in or out?

- If you're not going, I...

Don't worry your pretty little head

about me. I'll just lie around the lake.

You can get to know the girls.

You're going to have them for six months

a year. Bye. Watch out for snakes.

- Thanks a lot!

- Bye, girls. Have a good time.

- You all right?

- I'm just dandy. Some fun.

- What's the matter?

- Vicky's not used to this. Let's rest.

The lake's only another hour.

Look. I'll put it on, yes?

- Gee, isn't it hot?

- What of it?

I thought you'd like some of my water.

Thanks a lot.

Oh! There's a thing on it!

- What is it?

- It's only a little old tree lizard.

It wouldn't hurt anybody. Look.

- Get that thing away from me!

- Cut that out!

Get that away from me.

I hate them. They're just miserable.

- You two stay here and help Vicky, OK?

- Sure. We'll help her.

Sure you'll help me - right over a cliff.

What did we do?

Never mind those angelic faces.

I know vixens when I see 'em.

Just remember this.

You start anything

and I'll make your lives miserable later on.

You get me, pets?

See that? Cougar tracks.

- It's a form of mountain lion.

- No kidding? Lions?

Sure. There are hundreds up here.

They really mess you up.

They'll grab at your eyes, eat you.

There's a trick

an old Indian guide showed me.

You hit two sticks together

and the noise frightens them.

- Like that?

- Yeah. That'll keep them away.

Come on.

Quick.

- Enjoying yourself?

- Perfectly wonderful.

My feet are killing me.

Soak them in the lake.

That'll cool them off.

You think? I'll try anything.

- Come in. It's not deep.

- Are you sure?

Look, I'm standing.

Mitch!

Hecky, you did yourself proud.

Thanks. You sure you won't

change your mind, Miss?

I detest trout! How many times do

I have to tell you? I'll eat in the morning.

- What are we having for breakfast?

- Trout.

We always eat off the trail up here.

That's part of the fun of it.

Part of the fun? What else do you do?

Throw rocks in the lake?

You insisted on coming. Make the best of it.

I was tricked into coming. She tricked me.

She sure did.

Hecky can always take you down.

Sure. I'd be happy

to walk you down to the truck.

I'll stick it out, thanks.

They think I'm running a blood bank!

I think they like this stuff.

- What have you got?

- Mosquito repellent.

It doesn't smell like anything.

- That's nothing but sugar and water.

- What?

That'll bring every mosquito around.

Where did you get it?

An old Indian scout gave it to me.

Said it would keep mosquitoes away.

Hecky, I think I'll have some more trout.

Yeah.

I'm turning in.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight, Vicky.

- Goodnight, Vicky.

Vicky?

Honey, what are you doing?

- I'm keeping the mountain lions away.

- Mountain lions?

Yeah. The noise...

- The noise doesn't frighten mountain lions.

- No.

Goodnight!

- Why did you do that?

- I swear that...

Never mind.

It's a terrible thing to do. Isn't it?

Just terrible.

I don't want any more of that. Understand?

- Yes, Daddy.

- Both of you.

- Yes, Daddy.

- All right.

Get them out of here! Get them out!

Get them away from me!

Get those wild animals out!

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