The Pink Panther 2 Page #6

Her eyes are brown.

She loves the smell of vanilla.

She's allergic to shellfish.

She has a small scar on her ankle,

which I gave her.

She loves her cats, Mindy and Wendy,

and Cindy, Delores, Frank,

Maxime, Caligula and Louise.

And she does not think she is pretty.

And I can never tell her she is pretty.

- Otherwise...

- Otherwise what?

If she knew how pretty she is,

she might choose someone other than me.

- Ponton.

- Yes?

I need a hug.

Okay.

And now, conditioner.

After more than a decade, the infamous

Tornado has finally been unmasked.

Thanks to the work

of the international Dream Team.

Their success is being celebrated tonight

in a very exclusive event.

Let's go live now to the Petit Palais

in Paris, where the gala is underway.

So, tell us about the case.

This was really not

one of my most challenging cases.

I'm surprised it even took us this long...

My powers of observation

are so finely tuned by this point

that just one look at any situation,

and ideas come flooding into me.

Modern technology makes

the modern criminal obsolete.

And what about the Pink Panther?

- Too bad it was destroyed.

- Yes, we're very sorry about that.

Three out of four isn't bad.

- 75%.

- Yes, brilliant.

- Inspector.

- Miss Solandres.

- Quite a snarl here.

- Yes, I know.

A spot just opened up. Take it.

I'll watch the meter for you.

- Nice car.

- It's a rental.

I figured Paris, excitement,

romance, you know.

- I'm leaving Paris tonight, on the redeye.

- Bon voyage.

Goodbye, Inspector.

- You know Mrs. Dreyfus?

- Yes, sir.

Well, let me know immediately

if she arrives.

- Nicole.

- Yes.

- I thought you might be hungry.

- Well...

- That is very thoughtful of you.

- Cute car.

It's Miss Solandres' car.

- Well, it's a little chilly out here, so...

- Nicole?

You are very pretty.

Well, that's odd. Some would say

I was drab and disgusting.

Well, who in their right mind

could call you drab and disgusting?

Whoever could say something like that,

would...

I said it.

- He told you?

- Yes, he did.

I only said it

because I didn't want him to...

To what?

To fall in love with you.

I don't know what to think.

- Ponton speaking.

- Ponton, here's what I want you to do.

I'm thinking of recommending

the establishment of a permanent

international police force,

which, of course,

I would be prepared to command.

Excuse me.

- What?

- I have solved the case.

- What?

- I have solved the case.

The case has been solved, Clouseau.

That is why we're having the party,

you see, because we've solved the case.

Are you all right, Chief Inspector?

- It's clueless Clouseau again.

- Is he here?

He's so desperate to regain his status

as the Pink Panther hero

that he's come up with

the most ingenious theory.

- What theory?

- That you are the thief.

Me?

And that you have the Pink Panther

here with you.

Now I'm feeling guilty.

I've been feuding with a man

who is mentally handicapped.

For one thing, how could Sonia

have performed the theft in Rome?

We were all there together.

Actually, the rest of us were all at the bar.

If you recall, Miss Solandres

stayed home with a headache.

Well, that's right, but...

But where would you get the expertise

for these crimes?

Well, she is the world's

foremost authority on II Tornado.

Just as a parlor game, what if

she obtained this expertise directly from...

What if she were his daughter?

- No, that wouldn't...

- A lover.

- Yes, a scorned lover.

- Better. Motive.

That would explain stealing

the unfenceable items

- to direct attention...

- To II Tornado.

So she can bring him out of hiding

and set him up as the perpetrator.

- Then she could kill him, forge a note...

- And keep the Pink Panther.

As Clouseau said, the one fenceable item.

Congratulations, gentlemen,

a very diverting and amusing puzzle

solved in two minutes.

Bravo.

Open your purse.

Nicoletta, you misunderstand.

This is a game, an exercise.

Yes, but just to complete the game,

let's have a look.

I have a plane to catch.

Seriously, gentlemen!

Okay, let's get this over and done with.

Oh, my God! He was right.

Stop! I am the one you want, not her.

Only I possess the evidence that will keep

you in prison for the rest of your life.

So if you're going to shoot anyone,

shoot me.

Okay.

Perhaps I did not think that through.

Jacques!

I wish I'd shot him.

Look, his Medal of Honor

absorbed the bullet.

- What?

- Not exactly.

The bullet ricocheted and killed the waiter.

Where's Sonia?

She mustn't escape. I'll stop her.

Get back.

That gun is pointless. There are four of us,

and you only have four bullets left.

That doesn't add up.

All right, I'm warning you, Miss Solandres,

I've got a...

Spoon?

I've got a knife.

Stop. You cannot escape.

- You don't have a match.

- That's right.

Never use an elevator during a fire.

Fire? Leave this to me.

In the name of the statutes and laws

of the great nation of France,

you are under arrest for the theft

of the world's most priceless...

You are under arrest!

Let me go, or I will destroy it.

- Let her go.

- Let her do it.

Are you insane?

Good work, Ponton.

You moron! You twerp!

You sad excuse for a human being!

You have just destroyed

the sacred symbol of France!

- Ponton, did you bring what I asked for?

- Boys.

- Here it is, Uncle Jacques.

- Yes, yes.

I knew the Tornado would eventually

come after the Pink Panther.

So I went to the muse

with a simple plan in mind.

I had convinced my old friend,

Robert the night guard,

to turn off the security system

for the few moments necessary

to save the most beautiful object

in France.

I then switched the Pink Panther

with the replica I had at home.

This is the real Pink Panther.

It was the fake that was stolen.

Nightmare. Nightmare.

And when the Tornado,

an expert on the quality of gems,

wrote in his supposed suicide note

of its great beauty,

I knew he could never have been the thief.

He would have recognized it as a fake.

How did you figure out it was Sonia?

It was because I spent the last 17 months

on parking duty.

What?

Today, I was staring

at Miss Solandres' license plate.

I recognized it because of

my unique system of cross-referencing.

I became aware that I had

given a ticket to the same car

two days before Miss Solandres

claimed she arrived in Paris.

One day before

the Pink Panther was stolen.

You followed my instructions

very well, Clouseau.

It was I, of course, who put Clouseau

onto the parking ticket assignment.

- Isn't that so, Inspector?

- No.

And at Avellaneda's mansion,

when I sensed the presence

of the Tornado,

he was there, all right.

But it was not a he, it was a she!

Clouseau is the greatest detective

in the world.

His mind is sharper

than all of us combined.

- Should we tell him?

- Absolutely not.

Inspector Clouseau.

Sometimes a man must be bold enough

to speak from the heart.

You deserve to know the truth

about Nicole and I.

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