The Prisoner of Second Avenue Page #4

Why do you keep cash in the book?

So no one will find it.

-Where else am l gonna keep it?|-Okay, it's all right. lt's all right.

As long as you're all right.|As long as you weren't hurt.

lmagine if l'd walked in|and found them, Mel.

-What would l have done?|-You were very lucky.

-But what would l have done?|-What's the difference?

You didn't find them.

But supposing l did.|What would l have done?

You'd say ''Excuse me,''|close the door and come back later.

What would you do, sit and watch?|Why do you ask me such questions?

Look. The lock isn't busted,|it isn't jimmied.

l can't figure out|how they even got in here.

Maybe they found my key in the street.

lf you didn't have your key, how were|you gonna get back in the house?

l left the door op--

You left the door open.

Well, what was l supposed to do,|take the furniture with me?

l was only gone five minutes.

How did they know l was|gonna leave the door open?

They know.|A door opens, doesn't lock...

...the whole junkie world lights up:|''Door open, 1 4th floor...

...88th and Second Avenue.'' They know.

l didn't think they'd try my door|while l was out.

-l gambled, l lost.|-What kind of gamble is that?

You lose, they get everything.|You win, they rob somebody else.

l had to shop. There was nothing to eat.

Now you got something to eat|and nothing to eat it with.

Why didn't you call up|and have them send it?

l shop in a cheap store|that doesn't deliver.

l've been trying to save us money|because you got me so worried.

l saved us $ 1 .79 with green stamps|and no delivery charge.

-What are you doing?|-We can't leave it. l want to clean up.

Now?

-lt's a mess. People are coming.|-The police.

You're gonna clean for them? Afraid|they'll put down ''bad housekeeper''?

Leave it, maybe they'll find a clue.

-Where you going?|-ln the bedroom.

-l'm wringing wet and l'm gonna change.|-Don't change.

You look fine to me.

Well, thank you. l'm still wringing wet.

Where are my seven suits,|three sport coats and five pair of slacks?

That's what you had,|that's what they got.

-l'm lucky my tuxedo's in the cleaners.|-They sent it back this morning.

Boy, they did a good job!|Oh, they cleaned me out!

They left me with a pair of khaki pants|and a golf cap! The dirty bastards!

Mel, it's just things.

Just some old coats and suits.|We can replace them.

-We'll buy new ones.|-With what? With what, Edna? They fi....

They fired me.

Oh, my God, don't tell me....

Hell, l'm telling you. They fired me.

Oh, Mel.

l'm so sorry.

l'll be all right.

-Don't worry. l'll be all right.|-l know you will.

-l'll find another job.|-Of course you will.

You'll take down the living room drapes,|make me a suit, and l'll look for another job.

We'll be all right. We will.

lt's not the end of the world.|We can move away.

-We don't have to live here.|-Why should we move?

l still have value. l still have worth!

l know.

What kind of a life is this,|living like caged animals...

...in a Second Avenue zoo that's too cold|and too hot?

Overcharged for a growth|they call a terrace?

ls this a worthwhile life?|Banging on walls and jiggling toilets?

Where the hell do you want to move to?

Maine, Vermont, Oregon?

Unemployed lumberjacks are sawing legs|off chairs because they have nothing to do.

Don't you understand, l'd go anywhere|with you so long as you were happy.

We could move to Europe, Spain. Two|people can live on $ 1 500 a year in Spain.

Spanish people!

l need a drink.|Let's go somewhere and get a drink.

-There's beer in the fridge.|-They didn't look there?

That's good to know. We can keep|the clothes in there from now on.

-Mr. Edison?|-Yeah. Come on in.

l'd offer you fellows a drink,|but l'm afraid you're a little late.

Did you hear that detective?

There was 346 robberies|in the city today, 346.

That means they gotta solve 345|before l get my suede shoes back.

Maybe they will. They have|a description of everything we lost.

Terrific.

All l gotta do is find three guys|dressed the way l used to dress.

The stuff is gone.

lt galls me that this winter, three junkies|will be warmer than me.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

Oh, sweetheart, it's so rotten.

To get fired and come home and find your|house has been robbed on the same day.

l wasn't fired today.|That happened Thursday.

Bottle of Chivas Regal.

-Last Thursday?|-Yeah.

You've known for four days|and haven't said a word?

l didn't know how.|l couldn't work up my courage.

l was hoping a miracle would happen,|another job would come along.

Miracles don't happen when you're 48.

When Moses saw the burning bush,|he was 23, 24 the most, never 48.

-Hello? We're back.|-Mel, don't do that. You're scaring me.

Dinner is served.

Edna, we have to get out.

-l'll go wherever you want.|-l don't mean out of here...

...out of obligations.|Things we don't need that are choking us.

l'm gonna quit the gym.|l don't need a gym for any $200 a year.

l'll run around the bedroom.

Only way to keep warm in there anyway.

And look at this.

$8.50 for a musical whiskey pourer.

Toys, novelties...

...it's garbage. lt's crap.

-Horseshit!|-No more. We'll never buy another thing.

Why did l give them 22 years of my life?|What for?

A musical whiskey pourer? lt's my|life that's been poured down the drain.

Where's the music?|Where's a cute little tune?

They kick you out after 22 years,|they ought to have a brass band.

Don't get upset.|You're gonna get sick.

You know where my music is? There it is.|lt's playing on the other side of that wall!

And it--

There's my music at the end of twen--

What is it?

What's the matter?

Pains in my chest. Don't worry,|it's nothing. lt's not a heart attack.

What do you mean?|Why do you say that?

lt's not a heart attack,|it's chest pains.

-Why you having pains in your chest?|-Because l don't have a job.

Because l don't have a suit.|Because l'm having a breakdown...

...and they didn't leave me decent pajamas.

Bastards. You bastards!

-You dirty rotten bastards!|-Shut up, down there!

-We got children up here.|-Don't yell at me. They took everything!

Left me with a damn pair of pants|and a golf hat.

There are children up here.|Are you drunk or something?

Drunk, drunk on what?|They took the liquor.

You worried about your children,|lock them in a closet.

Don't you have any respect|for anybody else?

Respect? Yes, l've got respect.|For my ass!

That's what l respect.|That's all anybody respects.

Respect my ass!

Oh, my God, Mel.

Oh, my God.

That's a terrible thing to do.|That is a mean, terrible thing to do.

God will punish you for that.

l apologize for my husband's language,|but God will punish you for that!

lt's all right, Mel.|lt's all right, baby.

Terrible thing to do to a person.|l wouldn't do that to anyone.

Never. You're too good.

You're too decent.

lt's gonna be all right. l promise.|You'll find another job. You'll see.

You know what we could do, Mel?

You're so good with kids.

l mean, you love being around them.|We could start a summer camp.

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