The Prisoner of Second Avenue Page #7

...in an elevator for over 45 minutes.

Panic broke out, and 1 2 of the doctors|were treated for hysteria.

-l had a dream last night.|-Yes.

And in the dream, l was in bed,|but l couldn't sleep, but l was sleeping.

-Yes.|-All right, now what does that mean?

-Well, what does it mean to you?|-l don't know. lt mean anything to you?

lt's more important to know|what it means to you.

Oh, yeah.|Oh, l don't know, l'm not sure.

But l remember when l was a kid...

...l used to sleep with my brother Harry|when l was 7 or 8.

One night, l woke up, l looked at Harry,|and it suddenly occurred to me--

-Sorry, your time is up.|-Jesus!

This is Roger Kelting|and the 1:00 news.

A Polish freighter,|the 6000-ton Majorsky...

...sailed into New York Harbor|in a dense fog at 7 a.m. this morning...

...and crashed|into the Statue of Liberty.

Two seamen were injured.

Electrical damage caused flickering|in Miss Liberty's torch.

It was the first recorded maritime accident|involving the famed statue...

...although the Polish freighter|had been in six previous sea collisions.

lt's 20 to 2:
00.|Can we talk business, please?

l gotta get back to work, Edna's waiting.|Can we settle this quickly?

-What are we gonna do?|-About what?

About what. About the Suez Canal!|What are we here for?

What did Pearl come from Lakewood for?|Our brother!

Our sick brother|who had a nervous breakdown!

Every time l hear it....

What are you crying for now?|You've known for a week.

Harry, let her cry if she wants.|She came all the way from Lakewood.

All right, let's face the facts.|Mel needs help.

-Who else would he go to but his family?|-You're right, Harry, who else?

All right, this is my suggestion:

We make Mel a loan.

We all chip in X number of dollars|a week.

He gets a job again,|then he can pay us back.

Now, that's my suggestion,|what do you all think?

How much is ''X number of dollars''?

X....

X is X.

ls X.

l mean, is it a big X or a little X?

lt's not even an X. lt's a blank|until we fill in X with a figure.

That's right, it's a blank.

l'm not complaining.|We have to do the right thing.

But when you say it like that, it sounds|like a lot. l have limited capital, you know.

Do you have unlimited capital?

l wish l did. l'd give Mel|X number of dollars in a minute.

Forget X!

Forget l ever mentioned X.

The biggest expense|is gonna be the doctor, right?

You mean a fancy psychiatrist.

l'm beginning to see what X|is gonna come to.

Maybe it's not even|a nervous breakdown.

Doctors can be wrong too.

They took out all my top teeth,|then found out it was kidney stones.

Correct me if l'm wrong,|but when Mel was a tiny baby...

...didn't you think his head|was too large for his body?

Mel? Mel had a beautiful head.

l'm not saying it wasn't.|l'm saying it was too large for his body.

lt always kept falling over to one side.

l can't believe what l'm listening to.

You're 1 1 3 years old|between the two of you...

...and neither one of you|makes any sense!

Let's go to Edna's, please!

Gotta get this settled before we go up.|We've all got to agree.

Now, the most important thing|is that Mel gets well. Agreed?

Agreed.

The only way he's gonna get well is|he doesn't worry about doctor bills. Agreed?

-Agreed.|-We see this to the end...

...if it takes a week, a month, a year|or even five years. Agreed?

Okay, we got a disagreement.

Now, Edna, dear...

...we know it's gonna take time|and it's gonna take money...

-...and that's why we're here.|-And l really appreciate your coming.

lt's all right, just tell us how much|you think the bills will come to.

That's very generous, but l couldn't|let you. Mel wouldn't let me.

Don't be ridiculous.|Where are you gonna get money, a bank?

You can't put up a nervous breakdown|as collateral.

But l have no idea how long|Mel will be in treatment.

l mean, it may run as high|as $20-25,000.

-Can l say something to you in private?|-We don't need any private discussions.

Just found out what X is.

Now, look, you and Pearl can put up|whatever you think you can afford!

l'll make up the deficit!|lf it's 1 5, if it's 20, if it's 25,000...

...l'll see that it's taken care of as long|as Mel gets the best medical treatment.

That's all l'm gonna say.

l'm speechless.

-l don't know what to say.|-Nothing. You don't say nothing.

We just wanna do the right thing.

l know none of us have been very close|the last few years.

Nine. Nine years was the last time|we were invited.

-Has it been that long?|-Nine.

Well, l suppose it's been my fault.

Anyway, l appreciate this|more than you can imagine...

-...but we really don't need it.|-Of course you need it, don't be ridiculous.

No, over the years we've managed|to save something.

-And l have jewelry l can sell.|-You're not selling your jewelry.

Maybe she doesn't wear it anymore.|Let the woman talk.

Mel can cash in his insurance policy,|and l have my job.

l can manage whatever|the medical expenses come to.

But if you really wanna help...

...what l'm worried about|is Mel's future.

We all are, darling.

lt isn't easy for a man Mel's age|to get a job, start all over again.

lf he knew lighting fixtures,|l'd take him in a minute.

Certainly, my God.

lf he could get out of New York|and move to the country somewhere...

-...he'd be 1 00% better off.|-l agree with you 1 000%.

l was thinking of a summer camp.|Mel is so wonderful with kids and sports.

There's a lovely place in Vermont|that's for sale.

We could have it for next summer.

Don't you think Mel|would be better off there?

Again, 1 000%.

They want $25,000 down.

So instead of giving it to us for the doctor,|will you lend it to us for the camp?

-$25,000 for a summer camp.|-The price is 1 00,000.

A hundred--?

A hundred thousand dollars|for a summer camp?

Run by a man that far away|from a nervous breakdown?

lt'll take him till August to figure out|how to blow up the volleyball!

l thought you wanted|to do something, help him.

-We do wanna help him!|-Then help him!

Not when he's sick.|When he's better, we'll help him.

ls that how the rest of you feel?|Do you both agree with Harry?

l'm not familiar with Vermont.

l'd have to go up and see it first...

...but l can't travel with my leg.

All right, forget it.

Forget the money. We don't need it.|We'll do without it very nicely, thank you.

l'm surprised you even offered.

lt's good to know that the minute|Mel is completely recovered...

...that l can count on you for help!|That's just when we'll need it!

Please excuse me,|l have to get back to the office.

And in case l don't see you for another nine|years, l'll get you some homemade cookies!

Mel made them.

Hello, darling. How did it go?

Fine. We had a good session today.

Could l have some water?|My mouth is very dry from the pills.

-Of course. Sit down. Did you walk home?|-l walked home.

-l had a nice walk. Hello, Harry.|-Hello, Mel.

-How you feeling?|-My mouth's a little dry.

Rate this script:2.3 / 3 votes