The Prisoner of Second Avenue Page #8

l'm under sedation.|lt calms me down. l feel fine.

Good. Good!

Look who's here, Mel.|Pearl and Pauline.

Hello, darling.

How are you, baby?

My mouth's a little dry. l'm under sedation.|lt quiets me down. l feel fine.

-Certainly.|-Of course, dear.

You look wonderful, Mel.

l walked home. Oh, l had a nice walk.|My mouth's a little dry, from the pills.

-Edna's getting you water, dear.|-Here you are, darling.

-Mel?|-Yes, Harry.

Mel....

-Harry wants to say something to you, Mel.|-What is it, Harry?

Nothing, Mel. Nothing.

You all seem worried.|ls someone in the family sick?

You don't look well to me, Ha--|You're working too hard!

-Don't work too hard, Harry.|-l won't.

You have to relax. Three things|l found out at the doctor's.

You have to relax, you mustn't|take the world too seriously...

...and you have to be very careful what|you say when you go out on the terrace.

This is the 4:
00 news.

Police today were baffled by an unusual|incident that took place in Central Park.

During the night,|a person or persons unknown...

...took a lawnmower to Sheep's Meadow|and mowed obscene words into the grass.

Until the parks department|decides to reseed the meadow...

...or cut the rest of the grass, the area|will be roped off to children under 1 7.

Oh, God.

Yes?

God.

Oh, am l gonna get that guy, Jacoby.

l know exactly where|and when he comes in.

At the first snow l'm gonna|fill my shovel with hard, wet snow...

...and drop it all 1 4 floors right on his head.|Crease his frigging skull!

God.

-You said that.|-For $50 an hour, l'll say what l want.

-A little hostile today, aren't we?|-No, not a little, a lot. Very hostile.

l may tear your couch up.|Put it in my bill.

-You wanna talk about it?|-No, l don't.

l've been talking about it for three months.|You clean that pipe and never say a word.

My wife's out breaking her back|trying to pay for it all.

You ought to see her, she's turning herself|into an old woman just for me.

By the time l get better,|l'll be too young for her.

That's funny.|Don't you think that's funny?

-l do see some humor to it, yes.|-You do?

Then it couldn't be funny.|You're like my brother.

-He laughs at the Farmers' Almanac.|-You don't talk about him. Do you like him?

What the hell kind of a question is that?|Of course l like him. l love him! He's done--

-Why bring up my goddamn brother?|-Why ''goddamn'' if you like him?

Because l don't always like him. He can|be the dullest son of a b*tch on two feet!

Do you think he'd ever play with me|as a kid? Hell, no.

All he ever did was complain|about my report card.

''You got a C in English and a C|in history. Forgot your lunch pail, Mel.''

He wasn't my brother,|he was my father.

Hey, wait a minute, maybe....

Jesus. Maybe that's the key|to our relationship.

That l was trying to prove to Harry,|my father...

...how successful l could be without|his help. And l never fought back to him!

l never fought back to anybody, and that's|why l'm here today! lsn't that true?

-Sorry, your time is up.|-Jesus!

In sports today, the Nassau Coliseum|opened its doors and its heart...

...and will house a charity basketball game|between the Harlem Globetrotters...

...and a team made up of members|of the gay liberation movement.

The gay libbers said they did not expect|to win since their team is young...

...and have only been playing|with each other since December.

-Watch it, will you?|-Sorry, man, l didn't see you.

You saw me! Don't tell me you didn't!|Tells me he didn't see m--

My wallet.

Why, that dirty bastard got my wallet.|Hey! Somebody stop him!

All right, hand it over.

-Hand it over!|-Are you crazy, man? What do you want?

Give me the wallet,|or l'll bust your head in!

l've taken all l'm gonna take|from you guys! The wallet!

Here!

Go on, get out of here.

Get out of here before l work you over.

And tell your friends|that l'm gonna get my shoes back!

And my brown suede shoes too!|You tell them!

What happened?

l'm getting tired of being shoved around,|that's what happened.

Curb your dog, will you?|People have to walk on these streets.

-Thanks for the help, Joe.|-Mrs. Edison.

-ls Mr. Edison home?|-l didn't see him come in.

Oh, Mrs. Edison! Elevator's out.

-What?|-Something with the cables.

lt won't be fixed until about 8:00.

You mean l gotta walk up 1 4 floors?

Water's out too.

-What water? My water?|-Everyone's water.

They're working on the pipes now.|Should be on about 7:00.

You tell the superintendent|if l have to take a bath without water...

...l'm deducting it from the rent!

-You ought to live where l live.|-Never mind!

-Hiya, Joe.|-Hello, Mr. Edison.

-Mrs. Edison just went up.|-Oh, good.

And the elevator's out.

-You gotta walk up unless you wanna wait.|-For them? My lease will be up by then.

-Water's out too. No water till tonight.|-l'll pray for rain on the way up.

Hey, would you...?

You know l just walked up 1 4 flights?

You should've called me.|l'd have come and carried you.

Hey, Edna, listen.

Oh, please listen,|because l've got something to tell you.

Do you know the water's off?|They stole our water, Mel, did they tell you?

l did something today, Edna.|l did something affirmative.

For the first time in four months,|l fought back!

l fought back! Oh, they didn't get away|with it this time.

-What are you talking about?|-l was mugged!

ln broad daylight!|They got my wallet!

What's the difference,|you didn't have anything in it.

What about my pride and my dignity?|l got my self-respect.

And they didn't get the wallet, either.|l chased some punk all over the park.

He was a good 20 years younger|than me too, but l got my wallet back.

See?

Your wallet is brown.

Your wallet is brown.|This one's black.

You left yours on the dresser this morning.|This isn't your wallet, Mel.

By God, l mugged a kid.

-l mugged some poor kid in the street.|-How much did we get?

-Why did he run?|-You chased him, didn't you?

-You get chased, you run.|-Wait, l gotta return that.

No! Some of this belongs to us!|They stole enough from us!

-Everyone's gotta share its losses!|-Edna! But not that way!

Wait a minute, don't you understand?|Edna, will you be reasonable?

Don't you see the important thing?|Not the money, it's that l got angry.

l fought back!|l got my strength back!

l hope you're strong enough|for both of us. l'm out of work!

-We went out of business today!|-Who?

We did! The business that l'm in|went out of business!

They canceled a show, they lost three|accounts, they went out of business!

-They let you go?|-lf they're not staying, they don't need me!

Oh, Mel.|What's happening?

-ls the whole world going out of business?|-lt'll be all right.

l don't understand how a big business|like that could just go out of business.

lt was a big business with desks and|cabinets and beautiful pictures on the walls.

Edna, it's just a job,|it's not your whole life.

You know what l kept thinking about on|the way home? One thing. Only one thing.

A bath. A nice, hot bath.|And now the water went out of business!

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