The Prisoner of Second Avenue Page #9

-lt'll come back on.|-l want my bath!

l want my water!|You tell them l want my bath!

-What can l do about it?|-You bang on the pipes! Bang on the pipes!

Tell them there's a woman|who needs an emergency bath!

lf l don't sit in some hot water,|l'm gonna go crazy. Now, bang!

-Be reasonable.|-l banged for you. Why won't you for me?

lt'll be all right, Edna!|lt'll be all right.

lt won't be all right!|lt won't be all right!

Why do you keep saying that?|Are you out of your mind?

Oh, Mel...

...l'm so sorry.

-Oh, God, l didn't mean that.|-lt's all right.

-Oh, please forgive me.|-Just calm down.

Gee, l don't know|what l'm saying anymore.

Oh, l have no strength left.

Nothing. l couldn't even open|my pocketbook on the bus today.

-A little boy had to help me.|-You have strength, Edna.

l have anger!

No strength.

lf anything happens to me,|who's gonna take care of us?

l will! Haven't l always|taken care of you, Edna?

-l mean, who's gonna take care of us now?|-Me.

Edna, me.

-You, Mel?|-Trust me.

Don't you believe in me anymore?

Let's leave.|Let's just give up and leave!

Let them keep their garbage and crooks|and air conditioners and jobs!

l just wanna live out|the rest of my life with you.

And see my girls grow up|healthy and happy.

And once in a while l'd like to have|some water to take a bath!

-Please, Mel, please.|-Edna, it's going to be all right.

But we're not gonna let them kick us out.|This is my city. We're gonna stay!

And you're gonna get some water,|l promise you.

Yeah?

-That's the superintendent, l'll kill him!|-You're very upset, l'll handle this.

Just relax. Why don't you sit in the tub|and wait for the water to come on, huh?

Tell him l want a whole tubful,|not just two inches! You tell him!

-Yeah.|-Tell him!

l'd like to talk to you, Mel. Now.

l'm parked in a loading zone,|1 5 minutes.

l drove in from the country, walked up|these stairs. l don't wanna get a ticket.

-So can we talk?|-Sure. Come on in.

l'd rather not. l understand how Edna feels|about me. l don't wanna cause more trouble.

ln the hallway, okay?|l'd like to talk in private. Okay?

ln the hall?

Edna, l gotta go out for a few minutes!|Are you all right?

lt's not flushing!|l can't flush the lousy toilet!

Can't flush the toilet.

How are you feeling, Mel?|Emotionally, l mean.

-ls it all right to say that?|-Emotionally? lt's a very nice word.

l brought you some apples|from the country.

Wait'll you taste these. You always|used to love apples. l remember that.

-Are you allowed to eat them now?|-Apples don't affect the mind.

-They don't?|-Sure you don't wanna talk inside?

No, no. Here is fine.

With all due respect to Edna,|she's very upset with the family.

Not true. She hasn't said one|unkind word about any of you.

The woman doesn't like me,|it's all right.

l wanted to deliver this in person.

You drove 40 miles and walked 1 4 flights|to bring me six apples, and l'm crazy?

Not just the apples.|l have something a little more substantial.

Here. This is for you and Edna.|The apples are separate.

-What's this?|-lt's the check, the money.

Go buy yourself a summer camp.

July and August, go take care|of 300 runny noses. Have a good time.

This is for $25,000.

Your sisters and l contributed equally,|50-50.

l'm telling them about it tomorrow.

Harry? Hey, Harry!

Harry! Hey, l don't understand.

l don't understand myself. Why would|anybody wanna run a summer camp?

But if that's what gives you pleasure,|good luck, God bless.

Wait a minute.

-When did Edna ask you for this?|-What's the difference?

Everybody got excited, everybody|said some things that Edna didn't mean.

-Take it.|-Keep it. Take the money, buy a camp.

Now, go upstairs.|Walk slowly or you'll get a stitch.

Please, l can't explain,|but l cannot take this money.

l am all right now.|l can stand on my own. Understand?

Why won't you let me do this for you?|Why won't you let me make you happy?

You already have by offering it.

Now, get rid of that. They see that,|you'll never make the corner.

You let everybody else take care of you.|Pearl, Edna, Pauline, everyone except me.

-Why am l always excluded from the family?|-Who knows?

l had to work when l was 1 3,|l didn't have time to be the favorite!

You wanna be the favorite?|l'll give it to you.

l'll call the girls up, say from now on,|you're the favorite.

l'm not blaming you.|lt's only natural.

When there are two brothers,|and one is out working all day...

-...the one who stays home is the favorite.|-l wasn't the favorite, l was the baby.

-You were the favorite!|-l was not!

They played with you|from morning till night!

No one could keep their hands off you!|l lived in that house 31 years!

Not once did anyone|sing me ''Happy Birthday'' !

That's not true, Harry!|You always had a party...

-...and a great big cake!|-l had parties, l had cakes.

Nobody ever sang ''Happy Birthday.''

This year, l'm gonna hire|the West Point Glee Club...

...and you're gonna hear ''Happy Birthday''|like never before.

Eleven years old,|l was wearing long pants.

When l was 1 4, l had a little mustache!

At the movies, l had to bring my birth|certificate, or they charged me adult prices!

-You were the oldest living teenager.|-Did you ever see Pearl's family album?

There are no pictures of me as a boy!|l skipped right over it!

Thousands of pictures of you.|On ponies, on bicycles, in barber chairs.

One picture of me in a 1 938 Buick.|l looked like Herbert Hoover.

l'm sorry, Harry.

l'm gonna tell you something now, Mel.|l've never told this to anybody.

l don't think you got a brain for business.|You can't handle problems.

l think you're a child, a baby,|a spoiled infant.

But as God is my judge,|many's a night l lay in bed envying you.

lsn't that something?

What l've got, you'll never have, but what|you've got, l'd like to have just once.

Just to see what it feels like|to be the favorite.

What if l gave you a big fat kiss|on the mouth?

You kiss me,|l'll break every bone in your body.

Between us, we don't have the brains|to push a button.

l love you, Harry.

Now say you love|your little baby brother.

You're not better yet. You hear me?|You're not better yet!

You're still a very sick man!

Edna!

Dear, l know you meant perfectly well...

...but l wish that--|Edna?

Edna.

l wish that in the future,|you wouldn't ask my family for $25,000...

-...without first discussing it with me.|-Don't yell at me.

-Who's yelling?|-You!

-l'm being perfectly reasonable.|-Fill my tub, then be perfectly reasonable.

-How could you beg my family for money?|-They offered money for a doctor.

l said l didn't need it for a doctor, l needed|it for a camp. l never begged anyone!

How am l gonna wash my hair?|With ginger ale?

Can't you see?|l'm all right now.

lt's humiliating for me|to ask for money.

You didn't ask them!|You weren't the one that was humiliated!

l was the one in front|of the Spanish lnquisition!

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