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The Relationtrip Page #4
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2017
- 90 min
- 65 Views
Are you...
picturing me in a Catholic
school girl uniform right now?
Yeah. 100%.
I'm gonna look at
your yearbook photo
and listen to this song like
Cool.
Totally cool.
Uh...
I guess I'll see you
in high school?
- See you in high school.
- Mm.
Good night.
[gentle instrumental music]
Whoa.
Whoa. What up, sleepyhead?
What do we have here?
world-famous eggs
that are guaranteed to
Pshew!
- Okay.
- You like eggs, right?
Yeah. Do I like eggs?
Of course I like eggs!
Right.
All right. How about this?
I make one of my
world-famous lattes,
guaranteed to knock
then we'll both be sockless and one
step closer to getting in that pool.
I like it. I like it.
Good.
Permission to
compliment you.
Mm. Permission granted.
your hair all crazy like that.
Whoa, watch out now.
[laughs] Well, you look
really pretty in that apron.
It's 'cause real men
wear pink.
- Oh, do they?
- So...
- Real man.
- Okay.
- I wear pink.
- Do they?
I guess I forgot.
Come on...
Hey, you need help?
Okay.
You got it?
Bunny ears.
I do a loop it.
Loop it, scoop it.
Oh, okay,
I'll loop it.
- Not too tight.
- Just... Okay. Just give me a second.
- Okay.
- Perfect.
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
Mm.
Mm. Delish.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Somehow your socks
are still on.
Holy cow! Watch out.
Whoo! My socks have somehow
There we go.
That's better.
Hold on.
Mm-hmm.
What you got?
- Mm-mm.
- What you got?
- Uh-oh. Do you feel that?
- Uh-huh.
Do you feel that? Boom!
Boom!
We left each other sockless.
Wow.
It's amazing.
Hey, you got a...
You got a little...
- What?
- I don't know. Come here.
You got a little something.
Let me see.
Did you get it?
Yeah, almost.
Actually, you know what?
You got something, too.
[Beck] Hmm.
- There we go.
- Got it.
Um...
Thank you for...
for cooking, but...
I actually don't like eggs.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
You know what?
I don't drink coffee.
Oh.
It's okay.
- Huh.
- Mm-hmm.
Cool.
Cool.
[Beck] So I remember reading
this thing in school.
Some philosopher said that
we were originally born with
four arms, four legs,
and a head with two faces.
And somewhere
along the lines,
the Gods decided to split
everyone into two separate parts,
so that the rest of your
existence on Earth
find that other half.
Whoa.
That's a lot of pressure.
It scared the sh*t
out of me.
Like, what if your other half
is born in Laos?
I only found out that country
even exists like last week.
How am I gonna find
my other half there?
[Liam] Yeah. Or what if
your other half dies?
[Beck] Whoa.
really good at being a half.
Two arms, two legs,
one head.
[Liam] Oh, yeah.
One head is plenty.
[Beck] Mm-hmm.
[Liam] Buddy and Sara always make me
feel like I'm running out of time.
Like, if I don't
get a girlfriend,
someone from the government
is gonna come and kill me.
[Beck] Oh, yeah. Franklin asked
me if I would be his surrogate,
because what the f*** else
am I doing with my eggs?
[Liam] Can't you sell them
for, like, a ton of money?
[Beck chuckles]
[Beck] Oh, the other day he introduced
me to his bald 45-year-old neighbor
like he was a potential
love interest.
[Liam]
Oh, God. Like, yeah.
breathe air too.
You two have so much
in common."
[Beck laughs] Mm-hmm.
It's like I'm that
guy from operation,
and everyone just takes turns trying to
fix me with those little metal tweezers.
[Liam] I can't even look at
the Internet anymore,
because there's just pictures
of people's babies.
[Beck] Mm-hmm.
Or photos of couples
at the Grand Canyon,
the girls flashing some, like,
ridiculous engagement ring.
[Liam]
I can't help but feel like
Like, "What are you waiting
for, you f***ing loser?"
[Beck] Yeah.
F*** 'em all.
[Liam] Yeah. F*** 'em all.
For the lady.
- Thank you, sir.
- Mm-hmm.
Come on in.
Wow.
I cleared out my three
top drawers for you.
- Babe!
- Mm-hmm.
- I got you something.
- What?
Aw, babe!
You shouldn't have.
Wanted to.
- What is it?
- You'll see.
- Tell me, tell me, tell me...
- You'll see.
You'll see. You'll see.
You'll see.
[gasps]
What!
I made it myself.
I love green and yellow.
- May I?
- Yes, please.
I'll never take it off.
Good.
Good.
- Hey.
- Mm.
What was little Liam like?
Well, despite my hulking
physical presence,
growing up.
Aw! Little baby Liam.
I wanna know him.
What did he wanna be
when he grew up?
Football star.
- What?
- Mm.
- You played football?
- No.
God, no.
My mom didn't let me.
Said I was too small and
[Beck] I don't like that.
[Liam] She bought me Nintendo.
And then I developed
a good old-fashioned
fear of people
bigger than me.
[Beck] Come on.
What did your dad have
to say about all that?
[Liam] Nothing.
My dad died when I was a baby.
[Beck] Oh.
I'm sorry.
[Liam] It's okay,
It was a heart attack.
My mom always said that she would try to
tell him to take better care of himself,
but he was too stubborn
to listen.
So growing up,
any time I disagreed with her,
she would say,
"You know who else
thought I was wrong?"
No!
- Mm-hmm.
- Whoa! That's...
That's heavy.
I grew up pretty much thinking
everything would kill me.
Oh, my God.
Ugh!
Sounds cruel, but,
sometimes I think I'd be
better of if my dad were dead.
What?
Yeah.
He, um...
He had an affair
when I was like six.
Some younger girl.
No!
Mm-hmm.
My mom had gained
all this weight, and...
my dad just...
treated her different...
like, physically.
He would only kiss her
on the top of her head.
Little things like that.
And then when it finally came
out with this younger girl...
She didn't even...
She acted like she
didn't even care.
Like she just completely
shut down,
like a zombie. Like...
And then, I just
tried my best to
play make believe
with my best friend
and avoid them.
Sh*t, Beck.
Yeah.
Then he ended up running
off with the other girl.
And that was it.
Did you ever see him again?
Yeah, actually.
When I was in college
he got in touch with me.
And he asked me to
go out to lunch.
Did you go?
Mm-hmm.
But...
Sorry, I haven't talked about
this in a long time.
[sighs] When I got
to the restaurant...
[scoffs]
I saw him sitting there
in there window, and...
um...
He was really old...
and fat...
and bald.
And he looked...
He looked...
so nervous, and I just...
I was mad and angry
and grossed out.
I just didn't wanna f***ing
deal with it, so I...
[sighs heavily]
I left. I just...
I didn't go in.
Wow.
And that was it?
Yeah.
Then I went back to...
distracting myself with
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"The Relationtrip" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_relationtrip_21181>.
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