The Relationtrip Page #7

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Liam, I'll send you

an invoice.

Now this session

is over.

[clock continues ticking]

Uh...

[melancholy music]

[engine roaring]

[crashing]

[sighs in exasperation] F***!

[sighs heavily]

[door opens]

[Chippy humming]

[Chippy] Oh, f*** me, man.

[Chippy laughing]

F*** me!

- [humming cheerfully]

- [bottles clinking]

Huh? What's up, skank?

Didn't go well with

the old lady, huh?

Tough break, chico.

Catch.

I'll put in a good word

for you. Ha!

Yo, what up, baby?

[laughs] Oh, girl, you look...

moderately okay this morning.

Dick.

Ah! Goddamn, it's good.

F***, that's good!

[birds chirping]

[video game playing]

Hey.

Oh, hey.

[both chuckle awkwardly]

- I...

- I, uh...

[both laugh]

Um...

You go.

I wasn't expecting

to see you.

Right. I was just

in the area...

on my way

to the kitchen.

- Cool.

- So...

- Cool.

- Um...

You look really busy.

Oh. You know what? I needed

to take a break anyway.

- Do you wanna sit?

- Uh...

I probably shouldn't.

I don't know if that's

the best idea.

Right. No...

- You're right.

- Mm-hmm.

- But, um...

- Um...

- So...

- [both chuckle nervously]

- How are you?

- I... I'm good.

I'm really good.

- I'm good.

- Great.

- And you?

- Good. Yeah. Oh, so good.

- Really good.

- Cool.

- Mm-hmm.

- That's good to hear.

Yeah.

You look really nice.

- Oh, thank you.

- Yeah.

I stopped eating.

- You look nice, too.

- Oh, thanks.

Yeah, I started wearing

pants again.

[chuckles] I could tell.

And you changed your hair?

Uh...

I think I just

took my hat off, but...

it's nice you noticed.

- It looks great.

- Thanks.

- So you're still with...

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, got the old

nine to five.

- Cool. And it's...

- Oh, it's great.

- It's great?

- Yeah, better than ever, actually.

Oh.

Yeah. I've got over 2,000

subscribers to my stream now.

Liam, that's incredible.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Really proud of you.

- Yeah. I'm, uh...

[voice choking]

I'm really happy.

What? What is it?

No, I just...

I'm grateful for

all of my success.

Don't get me wrong, but...

What is it if I can't

share it with you?

Liam, no, this is not

a good time.

Please don't do this

right now.

Beck, since we've been apart, I've

had some time to think, and...

I think we should

give it another chance.

I don't know, Liam.

[sighs] I don't know.

[Chippy] Beck, let's go.

[Beck] Oh, God.

I have to go.

No, stay, stay.

I can't.

Liam, I...

I think Dr. Lipschweiss

was right.

I think that we need

some time apart.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, too.

[Chippy] Seriously,

let's f***ing go!

Yeah.

[sighs deeply]

Hey, thanks for, um,

cleaning the place up.

It means a lot to me.

I didn't wanna get charged

extra cleaning fee.

That's so sweet.

[sighs]

[Chippy] Whoa, whoa!

What are you doing?

Those are both for me,

obviously!

You think you can

afford to eat that?

Huh, cankles?

Why don't you feed yourself

some ice cubes

if you're hungry, huh?

You're packing on, mate.

What are you crying about,

huh, saddlebags?

Huh? Fatty? Huh?

[Chippy continues indistinctly]

Okay, I can't take

any more of this.

Liam, what are you

doing here?

Whoa! Look whose

balls dropped!

Oh, f*** you, Chippy.

- F*** me? F*** you.

- F*** you, man.

- Guys, just stop it.

- Oh, shut up, Beck.

Okay, this guy is

a miserable f***ing a**hole.

Whoa!

What he wants is for you two to be

miserable f***ing a**holes together.

Liam, you're wrong.

Chippy is my friend.

Yeah, Liam, I'm her friend,

and who the f*** are you?

I love her.

Okay? I actually

care about her.

Oh, please!

You know how this is

gonna go, don't you, Beck?

Huh? He's gonna

wear you down,

and smother you until

you eventually give in.

And as soon as you do,

he'll get bored.

He'll leave you all alone,

just like your mother.

[Liam] Hey, that is not true.

That is not true, Beck, okay?

Look...

I love you.

[Chippy]

Oh, cut it out!

You don't love her, man.

You just settled for her,

'cause you lost your ex.

Now you're smothering

the sh*t out her.

You're probably gonna lose

your consolation prize too.

He's right, Liam.

How am I ever gonna compete

with your dead ex-girlfriend?

Well, Beck, um...

I mean, you called me "Eden".

You said,

"I love you, too, Eden."

How do you think

that made me feel?

You obviously still

love her.

And smothering me in this fake

love isn't gonna bring her back.

Right. Yeah, um...

When I said she was dead...

Yeah?

Well, you know how, like,

people say things sometimes

that in the moment,

they kind of

- get all...

- Oh, my God.

Liam, is Eden not dead?

Ooh! F*** me!

Oh, my God.

I can't believe this.

Beck, let me explain.

Oh, what a twist.

I did not see this coming.

I meant figuratively.

You know?

Like, she's dead to me.

Like, I'm so over her,

she might as well be dead.

Liam, that's sick.

That's what a f***ing

sick person does.

[Chippy]

Oh, my God.

- Beck, please.

- No.

Okay, I love you. I wouldn't

say anything to hurt you.

No. I don't even know

who you are right now.

Oh, my God! This is one of the

greatest things I've ever seen.

Shut the f*** up, Chippy!

[yelling]

[both yelling]

[Beck] Oh, God!

- Chippy, don't!

- Move, b*tch.

[Liam] Ow!

Chippy, don't!

[screaming]

All right, stop it. The

both of you, just stop!

[Chippy] Shut up,

you little dick.

No, that is it.

I am done!

Beck, please.

Okay? I love you.

All right?

I need you.

You're perfect.

[scoffs] You're not perfect

by a long shot.

You need me.

I won't lie to you.

Don't f***ing talk

to her like that, man.

Ah, she needs to hear it.

That's it.

I am done.

Okay? I don't need

either one of you.

- Beck.

- Beck...

I don't need you, Liam.

And I don't need you,

Chippy.

What?

No!

[coughing]

Chippy?

[continues coughing]

Chippy!

What's going on?

Chippy!

You said that...

You said the words.

What? What words?

"I don't need you, Chippy."

Oh, Chippy, I take them back.

I take them back.

[gasping for breath]

- Oh, Chippy, no!

- [squeaking]

[Chippy gasps]

Your breath...

is terrible.

[groans]

[sobbing]

Chippy...

- My Chippy.

- It's okay.

You're better off

without him.

You don't need him.

Okay? It'll just

be us now.

No.

No, it's over.

Beck...

Uh-huh. It has to be.

Because of that guy?

Cut it off, Liam.

Beck...

Cut... it... off.

Now.

[exhales]

[somber music]

[Beck sobbing]

Oh, Chippy.

My Chippy boy!

[car door slams shut]

[car engine starts]

I love you, Chippy.

[solemn music playing]

[knock on door]

Hey, buddy.

Hey, man.

[Sara] Ooh. I like what

you've done with the place.

Thanks.

I figured it was time I

started living like an adult.

Yeah. Officially move into

your friend's guesthouse

after just squatting there

for free for two years.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Come a long way, huh?

Aw, Lili...

You guys, I'm gonna

die alone.

No, you're not.

- You've got us.

- I'm serious.

I really liked this girl.

Like, a lot.

And I f***ed it up.

But it's Eden, you know.

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