The Rewrite Page #4

what are we going to be doing in class?

Well, we're going to...

So...

Why don't we deal with attendance,

you know?

Get that out of the way.

Rachel Anslow.

Now am I pronouncing that right?

Is that "Ans-low" or is it "An-slow"?

"Ans-low."

- Sorry, I didn't quite catch that.

- "Ans-low!"

OK. OK, OK. That's fine. Tick.

And another tricky one.

Flo Bai? Or should I say "bay", "bai"?

It's "bay". But I could go either way.

Good. I appreciate your flexibility.

Could be either, or indeed, "eye-ther".

Let's call the whole thing off.

I'm sorry, Miss Stein-Rosen,

but you will have to wait for the "S's".

Or is it the "R's"?

Interesting question.

I was just going to say,

I think everyone is here.

There were 10 of us last time,

there's 10 today, plus...

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Everyone, welcome the new student

to our class. Holly Carpenter.

Holly, perhaps you'd like to tell us

a little bit about yourself.

No, I'm good, good.

Thanks, thanks for asking.

I see.

So, the consensus is that

we're all here, yeah?

Yeah.

All right, all right, if you think so.

Seems a little rash to me, but...

Mr Michaels?

Maybe you could tell us

a little bit about

why you decided to come

to Binghamton and teach?

I certainly could, Miss Carpenter.

The truth is that...

I...

The truth is that I'm going

to be writing a movie

about a teacher

and this is all research.

Who's going to be in it?

I'm afraid I'm not at liberty

to discuss that.

You know, Matt hasn't committed yet...

Matt Damon? Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God!

- I did not say that, no.

No, the point is that, you know,

I have to learn who

my protagonist really...

Protagonist, protagonist, protagonist.

Pro-tag-on-nist

is all about, you know,

what he aspires to be,

what goal he wishes to achieve.

You mean like how in A New Hope,

Luke wants to become a Jedi Knight?

Yeah, perfect example, Mr...

Frazier. Billy Frazier.

Yeah. Billy, good, yes.

A goal has been established and

the story consists of trying to overcome

the obstacles in the way of that goal.

Feel free to write that down.

And, I bet that if you all thought

of your favourite movie

you could identify the hero or heroine

and what their goal was.

Dirty Dancing.

Are you serious?

That's not even a movie.

It's a wack Cinderella fantasy

that's totally devoid of reality.

Just excuse me one second.

You know, Hollywood never rests.

- Yeah, hi.

- Hey. Are you OK?

You sounded like you were going to kill

yourself last night.

I was, but it was

far too cold and rainy.

Listen, I am actually

teaching at the moment.

OK, good, good.

Well, I'm just checking in.

You hang in there

and I'll talk to you soon, OK?

Yeah, I will do, will do.

And just one other thing.

Tell them if Matt wants a meeting

he's going to have to come here.

Matt? Who is Matt?

Because, you know, there's always Ryan.

Gosling or Reynolds?

- OK. Talk to you soon. Yeah, ciao.

- Ciao.

I'm so sorry about that.

They never leave me alone.

So, any other favourite movies?

Hey.

You made it through. Sort of.

I couldn't have done it without

your probing and annoying question.

I'm always here for you.

Mr Ronson.

Your pages were excellent.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Thanks, Mr Michaels.

- Sorry.

- Oh!

I think I might be coming down

with something.

Do you have any idea

where you might be going with the story?

Yes. I have more pages.

All of them, actually.

Sorry, why did you only hand in 30?

That's all they asked for.

I didn't want to impose.

Well, I'd love to see the rest, if and

when you're comfortable sending them.

And assuming you live that long.

Dismissed.

Henry, let go.

It's garbage.

- Evening, Jim.

- Evening.

- Henry, how are you?

- Hey, boy.

You know, Karen,

I want to have a quick chat with Jim

about the correct schedule

for garbage pickups for a moment,

- so why don't you go on in and I'll catch up.

- OK.

OK, don't be too long. You want it hot.

Take care, Professor Harper.

I'll put on some music.

OK, all right, Henry.

Quiet, Henry.

Sorry about Henry here.

I think he's why my wife left me.

Your wife? I didn't realise

you were married.

Yeah. She's with some visiting professor

in the Physics Department.

One of the guys that helped discover

that whole Higgs boson thing.

The glue to the universe.

She's impressed with that kind of stuff.

Listen...

About Karen...

You know, we've been spending

some time together.

Yeah, I think I may have seen that.

Right.

You know, she's been

very welcoming, very friendly.

- Lot of school spirit.

- Right, right.

And she's actually

also taking my course.

OK. I gotcha.

Right. So I was just wondering

if there's any kind of, you know,

university policy or official position

on that kind of thing.

Yeah, it's totally against the rules.

- Is that right?

- Yeah, no, big time.

People get fired for that.

Wow, I didn't realise, so...

Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.

- Thank you very much, Jim.

- Sure.

- Gentlemen.

- Well, hey.

Just coming back from a grocery run.

What are we talking about?

I was just trying to remember

which Shakespeare play, the line

"Tomorrow and tomorrow,

creeps in this petty pace" comes from

and Jim was assisting me.

Macbeth. Act V, Scene V.

- Very impressive, very impressive.

- Wow.

- That is why he's Department Chairman.

- Right.

Actually, I'm Department Chairman

because it pays more

and I have four daughters

who spend so much time at the mall,

the mannequins call them by name.

Wow. So it's just you in the house

with five women?

Yup. Me and the girls.

Well, I'm going to go

and brush up on my classics,

so I will see you gentlemen later.

And, I'm just going to go ahead

and walk my friend here.

"Once more unto the breach".

Thank you. Here you are.

Good timing. Last umbrella.

Yeah, I'm quite excited.

I haven't actually owned one of these

since I left England

about 100 years ago.

But your horrendous weather

has forced my hand.

No, you're looking

at it all the wrong way.

First of all, think about how much

you save in suntan lotion.

Yes, I see that. And sunglasses.

And convertibles.

And bikinis. I'm now very

glad I did not bring mine.

I can lend you one when it gets sunny.

Oh, you're saying there actually

will be a sunny day?

Oh, yeah. It gets sunny,

and it is worth the wait.

The lawn is filled with

Frisbees and guitars.

Professors teach outside

and it's just, you just...

You soak it all in, you absorb it, like the

best scoop of ice cream you ever had.

What a sad, pathetic story.

Too randomly structured?

Bit clich.

Saying "a bit clich" is a bit clich.

Mark Twain said that, "The difference between

the almost right word and the right word

"was the difference between

the lightning bug and lightning."

I love it. This is the

kind of stuff I want to learn.

Yes, and this is exactly

what can't be taught, so...

I know, I know.

No one can learn anything.

It's all set in stone,

let's just all kill ourselves.

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