The Rewrite Page #6

Do you realise how amazing this is?

These people are the gods of our time.

Yeah, I'm not sure anyone

in the Screen Actors Guild

should really be called a god.

Every society back to

ancient times had gods.

I'm minoring in anthropology.

First it was the stars and the sun,

then the Greeks and Romans

anthropomorphised them.

Then, we had monotheism,

and in today's culture

our gods are celebrities.

And you know them personally.

I suppose that makes me

a kind of demi-god.

Quite a morale-booster.

Besides, what if you meet

your soulmate this way?

What if you meet the person

you're going to marry?

Is that something to be discouraged?

No, I suppose not. No.

Then let's go to dinner.

Unless, you just want it to be about sex.

And I'm fine with that.

Just say that you only

want it to be about sex.

I certainly don't want that.

I...

Let's talk about it at dinner.

That's a good idea.

Great.

Calm down. No one's going to see us

and who cares if they did.

Yup. You're absolutely right.

Silly of me to be worried.

So your son? What is he majoring in?

Well, you know...

I'm not absolutely certain.

Welcome to... Oh.

- Oh, Lord.

- Hi.

- Mr Michaels and Karen.

- Hello, Holly.

Wow, so you work here?

No, I just walk around with a pad

and I find out what people like to eat.

- I'd like the ahi tuna.

- OK.

Excellent choice.

Great. And a glass of Chardonnay.

OK. Just need to see an ID.

Seriously?

That's just restaurant policy.

Oh, I'm sorry. That doesn't look real.

Yes, it is.

I can take it to the manager.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't I order a Chardonnay

and we can share it.

OK. Are we going to get straws?

Am I three years old?

Well, we don't really know,

because your ID is fake.

Sorry.

I'm going to change my order, it's fine.

I'll have a beef enchilada

and a margarita

at Caf Mexico with Judy and Chloe.

Karen.

Karen.

Don't make a big thing about this.

She's being totally rude

and it'd be nice if you stood up for me.

Either you take me

seriously or you don't.

No, I do.

I just think it's probably her job

to ask that question

- and she...

- Good night.

Daughters.

It might have been real,

we just have to check.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, the ahi tuna actually

sounded delicious.

And I will have a glass of Chardonnay.

Thank you.

Would you like to see ID?

Hey, I'm driving you home.

Wow, this is a full-service restaurant.

Well, you had two glasses

and you had two at the bar

and if you die, I don't get

to take your course

and it's going to screw up

my whole schedule.

What about my car?

It's a Hyundai.

It'll be there in the morning.

The girls are doing a disco performance.

I'm helping. You know, I used to dance.

No, I know. You danced modern.

It's in your script.

Peggy goes all the way to the big city

to dance before coming back

and marrying Ted,

the hot, but quite thick

minor league baseball player.

I didn't write "big city".

I said "New York".

You think we're all rubes up here?

Very much so, yes, yes, yes.

That true, did you really dance

in an off-Broadway show?

Yes, until I blew my ankle out.

Must have been tough, coming back

here after being in the big...

Manhattan.

Why?

Binghamton rocks.

Oh, I know. I know.

How does it rock?

Gorgeous.

One of the oldest antique carousels

in the United States.

Rod Serling used it as the model

for one of the most famous episodes

of The Twilight Zone ever.

Do you know it?

I was always too scared

to watch The Twilight Zone

because of that music.

You mean...

Yup, that's it. Yup.

You're very good.

You can stop now. Please.

Please, seriously, stop, stop.

It's the story of a middle-aged man

who's lost his way

and goes back in time

to the park he used to play in.

This park.

And, he rides the merry-go-round

and he sees his father

and his father tells him

that he has to move on with his life

because he's been looking behind him

and he has to try looking ahead.

All right, well, thank you

for the history lesson.

Folks, closing in a minute.

And thanks for being so

understanding tonight about Karen.

It's not what it seems.

Seems like you're sleeping with her.

Then it is what it seems.

I mean, I realise I shouldn't

be leading her on, but...

- Oh!

- I mean, it takes...

You think it's about you?

It's about her father.

What do you mean, it's about her father?

The whole subtext of her script

is about a young girl

trying to get her distant,

powerful father's love.

You're just a substitute for the attention

she never got from an older male figure.

That's rather disturbing.

What's disturbing is

what does it say about you?

You trying to fill a spiritual vacancy

with alcohol and young women?

Yes.

Well.

Thank you very much.

No problem.

- Good.

- Yes.

That was very nice of you to show me

the sights of Binghamton.

Oh, the sight. That was about it.

Well it was surprisingly lovely and...

You're very easy to talk to even though

you did do most of the talking.

Thank you. I think.

And you look very nice

in your waitress uniform.

But, I've always had a yen for uniforms.

I think Kim Jong-Eun looks pretty sexy.

Well, I am flattered by the competition.

Yeah.

OK. Good night.

Good night.

Character.

Character is everything.

Fortunately, not in life,

but in storytelling.

Make sure that your

characters drive the plot

and not the other way around.

Yes, questions? Anyone else?

Karen, yeah?

I'm just wondering,

given that besides Paradise Misplaced

all your other films were critical

and commercial failures,

why should we take this

or any advice from you?

Well, you shouldn't. Because...

When it comes to writing,

there are no rules, you know?

Except be true to the story you're telling.

Just make it your own unique voice.

So thank you for pointing that out, Karen.

That's very helpful.

Well, I enjoyed your pages, Sara,

but, why is it subtitled

when the film is in English?

To demonstrate the vast gulf between

what we say and what we mean.

No one's ever done that before.

Yeah, I think Woody Allen

did it in Annie Hall.

That was a comedy.

I'm not interested in comedy.

No, no, I do see that. Yes.

- Thanks, Mr Michaels.

- Thank you, Rosa.

- Thank you, Mr Michaels.

- Thank you, Andrea, Clem, Billy...

Maya. At last, thank you.

Andrea, this is vastly improved.

Really? I'm going to cry.

No, really, you've done a good job

of foreshadowing by starting the script

with the Bat Mitzvah video,

giving us a hint of the horror to come.

But, I still think maybe you just need

to define the larger theme of your story.

What about the idea that you really

have to do everything yourself?

Because you can never trust caterers.

Yeah. That might be a tad close

to The Hurt Locker.

Did you think you could maybe

dig a little deeper?

I don't think I go that deep.

That's what everybody

keeps telling me anyways.

Well, let's prove everybody wrong.

OK, well here's my thought, Billy,

and I know how much you love Star Wars,

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