The Rewrite Page #9

with a woman who practically wears a bonnet?

I think it's worth a shot.

Here you are. I'll be right back

for your dinner order.

I think I should just go quietly.

OK. Whatever you want.

I guess that it will give you more time

to work on your Matt Damon movie.

Oh, Lord, no.

Look, there is no Matt Damon movie.

- What? So, all that was just...

- It was a lie. It was a lie.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

There's no movie at all.

As a matter of fact, the only reason

I'm here is because I can't get a job.

But you do have a job.

You mean teaching? Well, yeah.

Number one, I'm no good at it,

and number two,

I don't have it any more, so...

But you don't know that

until you go to Weldon.

Holly, I wish I shared your faith that

if you just push yourself hard enough,

everything will work out.

It's very American, like country music, or,

I don't know, obesity. But it's not true.

You know, it won't make anyone talented,

it won't get me a job,

and it won't make my son call me.

I don't understand. Why are you reducing me

to some kind of optimism machine?

You think I wake up in a motivational

video? This is what I believe.

I believe what I believe.

This is what I'm teaching my girls.

Oh, really, and how are you

teaching them that?

By contemplating marrying someone

because he's steady and secure?

I don't understand. So now,

you're giving me parenting advice?

- If you like to dish it out...

- I thought you wanted to talk this through.

I don't understand.

What is going on with you?

- Miss? We're ready to order now.

- I'm just saying...

Be right there.

Watch it!

Well, listen. You've got to

get me something. Anything. A rewrite...

I'll work on reality TV

as a writer or a contestant.

Keith, I'm really sorry.

It's hard times out here.

It's not just you, either. It's...

Wait a minute. There's some kind of

riot going on. I'll call you back.

Dude, not cool, man.

Is the party over?

- Mr Michaels.

- Sara, what's all the ruckus?

I don't know. I was coming to the party

and I saw cops and paramedics...

I wasn't going to drink.

Oh, It's fine, Sara.

If anyone needs one, it's you.

- All right, people! Clear the way!

- Oh, my God!

- Is he gonna be OK?

- It's Billy.

Excuse me. What's going on?

Some hazing thing, made him

drink a half a bottle of vodka.

- He'll probably be OK.

- He should join a sorority.

All right, there are easier ways to get out

of finishing your third act, you know.

Mr Michaels.

Hey.

Those guys just kept saying

"One more, Obi-Wan, one more."

They didn't want me in the frat.

I'm such an idiot.

No, you are not an idiot, Billy.

You're, you know, you're weird.

But half the successful people

in Hollywood are weird.

Talking of which, I was thinking

about your screenplay, and I think

if you love Star Wars, write Star Wars.

But just give it a little twist, you know?

For example, bad version...

College guy who's obsessed with Star Wars

meets a similarly-obsessed Star Wars girl.

Did you ever see a film called Marty?

OK, I think you could

write a story like that.

- In fact, I think that could be...

- Billy, honey?

Mom, Dad.

Hi. I'm Keith Michaels.

I'm a teacher. I teach Billy.

- And I'll give you your privacy. Yeah?

- Thank you.

- Billy...

- Are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine, Mom.

- I'm so happy you're OK.

You really had your mother worried,

I'll tell you that much.

Sorry about that.

Afternoon. Hello.

So...

Sara told us what you did for Billy.

Oh, I didn't do anything.

The guys at that frat are such jerks.

We're all gonna go visit Billy

this afternoon, if you'd like to come.

I would, Rosa. But...

I actually have to leave town today.

As it turns out, unfortunately...

I am not gonna be able

to finish the rest of this semester.

But...

I've spoken to Dr Lerner, and Clara Foss,

the renowned poet, will be taking over.

So you'll be in good hands.

Well, what about our screenplays?

I am sorry, not to be able to finish

your third acts with you.

And I owe you an apology

for our last meeting. You know...

What I was saying about

writing being meaningless...

In a movie that I wrote

many years ago...

An 11-year-old girl finds herself

an angel in Heaven, and she's...

Understandably bereaved,

missing her family and her friends

and all the life she'll never have.

But an older angel tells her that 11 is

actually a wonderful age to be in Heaven.

Because at 11, everything you

love and hate really stays true

while mortal life is a long, losing

struggle not to compromise those feelings.

I think that's a bit the case with writing.

It's our 11-year-old selves saying,

"Yes, that's funny",

or "no, that's stupid".

You know, Sara may come at it from

one direction, Andrea, from another.

But it's real.

And true.

Anyway, I wanted to say thank you all.

It's been an honour and a privilege.

I can't wait to see

the Matt Damon movie.

Thanks. Yeah. Thank you, Flo.

I really enjoyed your class.

Thank you, Rosa. Thanks.

I've really enjoyed the class.

- She enjoyed the class.

- That was nice. Thank you, Rachel.

And thank you, Maya, for translating.

You helped me find my voice.

I'll never forgive you.

Here's your rewrite. Read it in hell.

Mr Michaels...

I don't know how to thank you.

Thank you, Clem.

You've made me quite jealous.

Brilliant. Brilliant.

So...

- Now, listen...

- Good luck.

Write.

No, I definitely will. Or email.

I meant a script.

I need something to watch with my girls.

Right.

I loved the class.

And you can teach, because I got better.

Yeah. Look, just... Sorry.

Hold on, one...

I have a class.

I meant to tell you never to call again

unless it was good news.

Wish granted.

Paragon wants to buy Clem's script.

I spoke to Jenny Glick

and Greg Nathan this morning.

The same people who love me

and are huge, huge fans

and rejected me from the sequel

to my own movie?

I know. But they love this. And I told

them if they want it, you're producing.

And they said?

Well, they want David Shore

to executive produce,

but they're going to give you a credit

and enough money to get you back home.

Greg is...

I'm sorry. Greg and Jenny are going to

be at a premiere in Manhattan tonight,

and they want to meet Clem. And you.

Get back to LA as soon as you can

so that we can ride this credit,

set up some meetings. Right? I'll...

- Congratulations.

- Yeah.

Fantastic.

I hope you have a good trip.

Thanks. And thanks again for everything.

Well, hold on.

You're not getting away that easy.

Get over here.

Oh, God.

So, Clem, tell us how this happened.

There was a screenwriting seminar,

so I submitted some pages.

You had already written the whole thing?

Well, I had a draft

and Mr Michaels asked to see it.

He brought the script

to a whole other level.

- I'm sure. We love Keith.

- Huge, huge, fans.

So tell us a little bit about

how this idea came into being.

I don't know where the ideas

come from, usually.

And, I wanted to write something fresh,

something different that...

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