The Ringer Page #5

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I'm sorry, Father, I

can't even say the words.

My son, there's no sin unforgivable

for those that seek redemption.

I've been pretending

to be mentally challenged

so I can fix the Special Olympics

to make money off of it.

Father?

Jesus, Father.

I'll see you rot in hell.

Piece of crap!

- Jimmy wouldn't say that.

- It's standard. "I'm going to Disney World. "

Come on, Jimbo.

All great athletes say that after they win.

Michael Jordan said it.

Michael Jordan can kiss my butt.

Write me something new.

Jimmy have to work.

100-metre practice. Let's go, guys.

Everybody in the 100 metres take a lane.

Full speed.

- Hey.

- Hay for horses.

How the hell can a guy like that

be beating you? It ain't natural.

Will you cut it out with that stuff?

These guys are great.

- A couple could be in the regular Olympics.

- Maybe on the French team.

There's a guy here from the Bahamas

who ran a marathon in two hours, 45 minutes.

Propaganda. One of ours can beat one

of theirs. It's physics. You gotta push.

- I am pushing.

- Well, push a little harder!

Do it for Stavi! Poor bastard's fingers

are thawing as we speak.

You know what? Maybe I should

just accept the fact that I can't win,

and stop lying to Lynn and everybody else.

Don't go soft on me.

Wait a second, wait a sec...

This is about a piece of ass, isn't it?

Don't call her that.

That's good.

You're doing Jeffy now, right?

Cos you have to be a moron to think she'll fall

for you. She thinks you're mentally retarded!

Christ!

Steve, Steve...

If it's love that you want so bad,

if you win, I'll do you.

- Let's face it, this won't work.

- When the going gets tough, give up.

That's what you're good at.

You've got a chance

to change your whole life.

Become a man. Become a winner.

Now, show some backbone.

Dig down deep and go kick that tard's ass.

Don't ever say that word to me again!

I mean it. These guys are my friends.

It's on.

Suck on that, Billy!

- What happened here?

- The pipe broke.

- Sloppy plumbing.

- It's snowing.

- I had an accident.

- A really big one.

That'll be Mr Billy Joel in February 1974

with "The Piano Man".

What's this one? What's this one?

That's Mr Stevie Wonder in the summer

of 1969 with "My Cherie Amour".

- Stupendous.

- Steve? Go ahead, ask me any movie.

Jaws.

That's a great movie.

Well, I guess it's bedtime.

Let's do something.

Hey, Steve, take us somewhere.

Yeah, right. You guys know

we can't go out at night.

I know. Let's see a movie.

Guys, you know we can't leave, right?

We can't go anywhere.

- Come on, give me a break, Steve.

- Look, I don't even have a car.

You could rent a car. Budget Rent-a-Car.

No drop-off fee whatsoever.

Come on, Steve. We're special.

Help us a little.

- You're gonna play that card?

- Winston wants a hug. Winston likes apples.

I believe that's my thing.

If you let us go out,

I'll let you go out with my sister.

- We've been training you for nothing?

- Come on, Billy.

Told you I was telling the truth, Daddy.

I'm sorry I lied to you.

I'm not proud of myself.

There are a lot of things about me...

Beautiful. There's dancing, and it's dirty.

You're kidding me.

You guys are actually buying into this?

Do you even have a soul?

Mylanta.

Lynn's boyfriend.

Hello, Lynn's boyfriend.

- Wait till I tell the fellas.

- Whoa, whoa. Wait.

You have a girlfriend?

Guess what, guess what.

I just saw Lynn's boyfriend.

He was kissing with a girl.

No. Let's get out of here.

Yeah. Let's go say hello.

- You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend.

- Hi, Lynn's boyfriend and not Lynn.

She's my cousin.

- I'm not his cousin.

- Nice to meet you.

- Is Lynn here?

- No, she's not here. But she might come.

- Hi, David.

- Hi, David. What did you think of the flick?

- What are you guys doing here?

- Jeffy's birthday. Never seen Dirty Dancing.

Hello, waitress.

- No, that's Lynn's boyfriend's cousin.

- I'm not his cousin.

- Not cousin. She's just a buddy.

- Buddy?

He was licking his buddy's ears.

I wasn't licking her ears.

I was just looking for an earring.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye, hooker lady.

Seriously, it's probably not a good idea

to tell anybody about this.

Cos it would be a very, very bad thing if they

knew you went off campus this late at night.

I mean, they might not

let you compete in the Games.

God.

It's OK. Don't worry. We won't tell anybody.

Well, there you go.

I always knew you were smart, Jeffy.

Could you take us home, David?

Well, I'd like to, but...

Or we could call Lynn

so that we don't get caught.

What the heck.

I'll swing you guys by on the way home.

Shotgun.

I'm parked out front.

Almost there. OK, guys.

You guys! Where have you?

David, what the hell?

I have been worried sick.

Relax, honey.

I just took 'em to the mall to hang out.

- The mall closes at nine. It's 12 o'clock.

- We stopped off for ice cream.

When the f*** did we get ice cream?

Jeffy, I won't be mad.

Just tell me the truth. Where were you guys?

Did you get ice cream?

David told Jeffy not to talk...

about his pants around his ankles

and the girl looking for her earring.

How could you?

They're making up stories.

It's late for them.

- They're delirious.

- Was I sleeping?

Will you get these guys to their rooms?

Come on, Lynn.

Can I get that ice cream now?

Hi, this is Steve Levy, coming to you

from Bobcat Stadium in San Marcos, Texas.

This'll serve as the home for the track

and field events for Special Olympics.

The Games are coming up next, live.

I'd like to place $1,000 on Jeffy.

On Jeffy?

You got it.

Let me win, but if I cannot win,

let me be brave in the attempt.

First up in the pentathlon,

the long jump.

You know, you really got to love the grit and

determination of these very special athletes.

Up next, Glen Chervin. This young man has

competed in the last five Special Olympics,

always finishing near the top.

5.5 metres. Wow, that's one heck of ajump.

Jeffy!

And newcomer Jeffy Dahmor, with an O.

This is Jeffy's first Special Olympics.

Whoa! 6.1 metres.

That's gonna be hard to beat.

Here comes Jimmy Washington,

always the crowd favourite.

When it comes to Special Olympics

records, Jimmy practically wrote the book.

6.5 metres.

And Jimmy Washington wins the long jump.

Hey, Jimmy.

Next up, it's the shot put.

Thomas Eppedio. You know, this guy

might not be the most talented athlete here,

but he's certainly got

one of the biggest hearts.

Glen Chervin with quite a nice toss.

Jimmy Washington tosses it

just a bit further.

It's Jeffy Dahmor's turn.

Yes! We have today's first upset.

The newcomer Jeffy Dahmor

wins the shot put.

And the officials

have raised the bar now to 1.6 metres.

This is quite high for most of the athletes.

Glen Chervin tries.

Even the great Jimmy Washington

is having trouble.

It's all up to Jeffy Dahmor now.

And he does it!

Jeffy Dahmor wins

his second consecutive event.

Runners, take your marks.

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