The Rules of Attraction Page #5

- How are you liking that, Dick?

- Mmm, mmm!

Yeah! Mmmm!

How do you like that?

- What has happened to you?

- What do you mean? What do YOU think?

- I can see what that school has done.

- Maybe Paul and I should go...

- No! No, no!

- No?

- If anyone's going to leave, it's Richard.

- [SHOUTS] It's Dick!

- All right, leave the table now, Richard.

- Why?!

Wh-h-h-h-hy?

I am asking you to leave the table now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]

I will not leave the table, no! No!

Leave the table!

Well, f*** yo-o-o-o-o-u!

And f*** you and f*** you, pretty boy!

And f*** you all very much!

I'm outta here.

Have a good one!

[LAUGHS TO HIMSELF]

Ahem.

Oh, everything's fine now.

I-I'm really terribly sorry.

- Are you sure?

- Oh, positive.

- My son isn't well.

- Yeah.

He's, well, not well. He's been under

a lot of stress with midterms starting.

I would like another Vodka...Collins.

Eve, would you like anything?

- Yes...uh... Well, I mean no, no.

- Oh, go ahead.

- Well...

- Get her another one. Please.

- Thank you, Paul.

- Sure, Mom.

You know...I think my next car..

- ..is going to be blue.

- Mmm!

Blue. A very dark blue.

What do you think, Paul?

Blue.

[THICKE] Baby girl, where you at?

Got no strings, got men attached

Can't stop that feeling for long, no

You're makin' dogs wanna beg

Breaking them off your fancy legs

But they make you feel right at home now

All these illusions just take us too long

And I want it bad

Because you walk pretty, because

you talk pretty, 'cause you make me sick

And I'm not leaving till you're leaving

Oh, I swear there's something

when she's pumping

Asking for a raise

But she told me to carry her home...

[LARA INHALES]

Those are grown in sh*t.

- Thank God you're still dealing.

- Where's Lauren?

She's out of town.

Do you have a thing for her?

She won't put out. You know that. She's got

this little boyfriend she's saving herself for.

- You're wasting time and wasting money.

- She's got a boyfriend?

All these intrusions just take us too long

and I want you so bad

Because you walk city, because you talk city,

'cause you make me sick...

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

[LARA GASPS]

Hi, Sean.

Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop!

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

[SEAN] Disillusionment strikes.

After all my pining for Lauren,

this, her room-mate.

Inevitable conclusion.

It's like bad poetry. And then what?

- Ohh, God!

- I'm still hard so I keep on going.

She's groaning now. Humping up, down, up.

Is it ever gonna end?

I should never have done this.

- I should have kept it innocent.

- God!

- Oh, yeah!

- I put my hand over her mouth.

She comes, licking my palm, snorting.

It's over.

Kleenex.

What's wrong? I told you I came.

I was born in a Holiday Inn.

Better that it's not Lauren. Note to self:

never 'shroom again. Gets you in trouble.

[GIRL] This is my last letter

because I'll never have you.

I stood and watched you go off with her.

She's so beneath you.

You probably did it to hurt me. It worked,

you hurt me. There's nothing else I can do.

There won't be any more notes.

It's last call.

[HARRY NILSSON]

No, I can't forget this evening

Or your face as you were leaving

But I guess that's just the way the story goes

You always smile,

but in your eyes your sorrow shows

Yes, it sho-ows

No, I can't forget tomorrow

When I think of all my sorrow

When I had you there, but then I let you go

And now it's only fair that I should let you know

What you should know

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't live

I can't give any more

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't give

I can't give any more

Well, I can't forget this evening

Or your face as you were leaving

But I guess that's just the way the story goes

You always smile,

but in your eyes your sorrow shows...

[MUSIC DISTORTS]

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't give

I can't give any more

I can't live

If living is without you

l can't give...

I only did it with her

because I'm in love with you.

[SOBS]

[GIRLS SOBBING]

Lauren, I love you.

Lauren...

- Lauren...

- Leave!

Since when does f***ing somebody else

mean I'm not faithful to you?! Lauren...

She's not ever gonna want to see you again.

Face it...you are f***ed up.

[PHONE RINGS]

[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]

- Hello?

- Hello?

- Hello?

- Bertrand?

- Bertrand's not in.

- This is Jean-Jacques. Hello?

[POP TUNE] La la la la la

la la-la la la la, la la la la-la la la...

[POP TUNE CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND]

Lauren.

Ahhh!

F***! F***!

Dammit!

[POP TUNE] ..you'll find that you've been

sent to hell! La la la la-la la la la la-la la...

- [WOMAN ON RADIO] Results are evident.

- [MAN] Order your bottle of Longitude now.

Call 1-800-518-3492. Imagine the look

on her face if you were much larger.

Call now, 1-800-518-3492,

or visit them online at longitudecapsules.com.

- Typical!

- WTNE!

- Ready!

- For music!

[PUBLIC IMAGE LIMITED]

I could be wrong

I could be right

I could be wrong

I could be wrong, I could be right

I could be black, I could be white

I could be right, I could be wrong

I could be white, I could be black

Your time has come, your second skin

The cost so high, the gain so low...

Sean?

May the road rise with you

May the road rise with you

May the road rise with you

May the road rise with you...

Gotcha!

You're so sad.

Sean, you're sick.

Hey...wait a minute! What...

I could be wrong, I could be right

I could be wrong, I could be right

I could be black, l could be white...

[LAUREN SOBS]

Took a charter flight to London. Took a cab

to the city centre. Hostels are pretty ugly.

I'm staying at Home House,

the most beautiful hotel in the world.

A couple of Brits take me to Camden Street,

I flirt at Virgin, then follow girls with pink hair.

I wandered around trying to get laid

until it started to rain.

I go to Rem Forum, but it's gay night.

I find the one hetero girl in the place.

At Home House,

I strip her clothes off and we f***.

Met the world's biggest DJ, Paul Oakenfold,

wrote my mom a postcard I never sent.

Bought some speed, smoked a lot of hash

that had too much tobacco in it.

Saw the Tate, Big Ben, ate weird English

food. It rained a lot so I quit for Amsterdam.

The Dutch know English, which was a relief.

I cruise the Red Light District,

visit a sex show, smoke a lot of hash.

Meet a Dutch actress, we drink absinthe

at a bar called Absinthe. Museums were cool.

Bought a lot of pastries, ate waffles.

Bought some coke, met some blonde that

reminds me of Lara, gave her 1 00 guilders.

I come between her tits

even though I'm wearing a rubber.

Afterwards we talked about AIDS.

I wake to the sound of a wino singing.

I pretend to ice skate around Centraal

Station. Trade songs with a Kiwi girl.

Then split for Paris by train.

I climb the Eiffel Tower for only 7 francs.

Went to a Ford Model party,

hooked up with a Romanian model.

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