The Sasquatch Gang Page #3

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high school to know

that the only reason

that lizard's doing that

is 'cause he's got long,

like, webby feet.

That still don't mean

you can do it.

All right,

Why don't you put your money

where your mouth is,

Mohawk Boy?

You serious?

I'm dead serious.

All right then. 50 bucks.

All right, sucker.

Hey, Shirts, this thing

go any faster, dude?

That's it.

That's all she's got.

Just go, idiot.

All right, yeah, I will.

See you on the shore, compadre.

Happy?

Don't cash that

for a couple days,

or you'll be sorry.

Later, geek-zekiel.

Shut up, Frankie.

Geek.

Idiot.

That sucks.

Stupid boat

wasn't even going fast enough.

Maybe you should

just get a job.

Job? I ain't getting

no job, dude.

This is America, man.

Plenty of money out there,

waiting for someone like me

to just walk up

and get my hands on it.

What are you talking about?

I got a better way

for us to make this cash.

Come on.

Oh, man.

Ooh.

Just like taking candy

from a nerd.

Dinged up my forehead,

though.

Let's just get out of here.

Get out of here?

What you talking about, dude?

We got to get some brewskis

and celebrate, man.

Come on,

Things are looking good

for us, dude.

Plus, I got us a sweet movie

to watch and everything.

Come on.

Oh, man, does my head hurt.

How's that cut feeling?

Mm, not too bad.

I'm just hung over, is all.

Hey, how much money we make?

About 77 bucks.

Boon.

Dude, we got

to step it up, man.

We need to be averaging at least

$50 more a day to make it.

Maybe we shouldn't have spent

20 bucks on beer last night.

Shirts, hindsight is 50/50.

You ever heard of that?

Maybe we should start

buying stuff at thrift stores

and selling it on eBay.

What the crap is this?

That music, man.

Anyway, my mom and her friends

do that all the time.

They buy old crap

and paint it white

and then call it shabby chic.

And then people

on the internet buy it.

You wouldn't believe

what people pay good money for

on the internet.

Can't hear myself think.

Can't even pay attention to you

'cause of this stupid

nerd noise.

That's it, man.

Yeah, I can't even hear

myself think.

Gavin, you stupid dingleberry,

What you listening to,

wuss tunes?

Turn it off!

No, spunky,

this is my corn dog.

come on.

Little nerd cheering him on.

Oh, no,

look at the big man.

Get out of here.

My eyes.

Hey, look at him.

He's like a big old beetle

what's on its back.

Hey, illegal hit.

You're disqualified. He wins.

Get out of here, nerd.

Yeah, Zerk,

poke that piggy.

Hey, you big bully,

quit it!

Face shots are illegal.

How would you like getting hit

in the face?

You better mind

your manners, boy.

Enough.

Save your strength

for the hike

To Deer Cliff Falls

tomorrow, Hobie.

You know how your knees

start aching under your girth.

What's at Deer Cliff Falls?

None of your business.

Yeah, none-ya.

Whatev, you little dorks.

Can't make this

out of foam and duct tape.

Yeah, Zerk,

let's just get out of here.

Man, that kid loves

that nerdy stuff.

You see that stupid shirt he was wearing?

Yeah.

He's the type of kid

you was talking about

Buying that crap

on the internet, you know?

You think people buy,

like, bigfoot-type crap

on the internet,

like plaster footprints

and junk like that?

Probably.

Come on, we got to get

some supplies.

I got me an idea.

All right,

check it out, man.

This operation has to be

totally legit, you know?

Look, we've got to get into

newspaper articles or something,

just so people know we ain't

just a couple of idiots

selling fake plaster casts

shaped like a big foot.

Uh, we are selling

fake plaster casts

shaped like fake big fee--

Ssh!

No crap, dingus.

That's why

I got to make people believe

that it's totally legit,

you know?

Yo, peep this, Shirts.

I'm gonna add

a little something extra

to get people talking.

A big ol'

Sasquatch dumpling.

You hear a bunch

about folks

finding footprints

and crap, yeah?

But you never hear

about somebody

finding a Sasquatch footprint

and a Sasquatch turd.

So I figure, with the right

mixture of this cocoa powder,

Some flour,

a little corn for texture,

and the secret ingredient...

An egg?

Exactly.

You know what these things

smell like when they go bad?

Yeah, kind of like

when you rip a reesty one

after eating a lot of fruit.

Exactly.

You're two for two, Shirts.

All right, now,

get started cutting out

those footprints

for the boots, man.

Scissors should be

in the sink.

Let's go.

Scissors are

in the sink, Shirts.

Where you going?

Well, I promised my mom

I'd be home for dinner.

No, no, no, no,

we got to take care of this now,

before the sun goes down.

It's got be light out.

But it's nugget night.

No, I don't care if--

Seriously,

you're having nuggets?

You're ought to let me

come over.

No.

Fine, man, whatever.

I don't care.

I'll get my own nuggets.

All right, new plan:

you go eat your nuggets,

I'll get my hands

on my own nuggets--

Don't you worry about how--

I'll meet you in the bird,

we'll go up to the cliffs

tonight, sleep in the car,

wake up at the butt crack

of dawn, and do this thing.

All right, let's go.

All right.

I'll see you later.

Yeah.

Oh, give me a break.

What do you think?

Can I try this on?

You sure those are gonna fit

with your thunder thighs?

Mom, come on.

All right.

Okay.

Hurry up, though.

Yo, check it out, son.

That's Roxie.

She's freaking hot.

Yeah, but don't judge a book

by its cover.

She's got major F.P.

F.P. What?

Yeah, major fat potential,

like as in,

she's gonna be pretty fat

when she gets older.

Man, how do you know?

I saw her

with her mom earlier.

Total heifer.

Moo.

Muumuu.

Moo.

Yeah, right.

Did you like them?

Here you go.

Oh, I love this movie.

It's really great.

Me too.

I've seen it,

like, a billion times,

But I always come back

to the classics, you know?

Yeah, I always like the way

he tames pegasus.

Me too.

Did you know if you pause it on

one of the shots in that scene,

you can see that

it's really just a white horse?

Really?

Uh-huh, but I still love it.

Yeah,

I love

all those fantasy movies.

You like fantasy movies?

Like what?

I don't know,

like Labyrinth.

What about Dragonslayer?

Ladyhawke.

The Dark Crystal.

Legend.

The Neverending Story.

I think only boys

like that one.

Hey, maybe we should watch

Clash together sometime.

You can show me the shot

with the horse.

Okay.

Um, I guess we can do that.

'Kay, see you later.

Wait.

Don't you want to get

my phone number?

It's not the number

to Video Vern's?

Oh, yeah.

My name's Sophie.

Yeah, I can see.

It's on your name tag.

Oh.

Mine's Gavin.

I know.

It was on your card.

All right,

see you later.

Bye.

Hello.

Hey,

Is--is this Sophia?

Do you mean Sophie?

Uh, wrong number.

Okay.

Hello.

Hi, is Sophie there?

This is she.

Oh, hey, it's Gavin,

Remember, from the video store

the other day?

Didn't you just call me?

No. Why?

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