The Secret Lives of Dorks Page #7

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Compliment Her Shoes...

And Try Not To Be...

Myself?

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah.

Both:
Uh...Hey, Carrie.

Get Your Geek Stink Breath

Out Of Here, Payton!

[ Both Laugh ]

Dork!

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

Do You Remember When

Rob Liefeld Couldn't Draw Feet?

Oh, My God.

I Thought I Was The Only One Who

Noticed.

Okay, What's The Scariest

Movie You've Ever Seen?

Easy -- "Bride Wars."

Good Answer!

I'm Not Sure What Was Scarier

About That Movie -- The Script,

The Directing, Or Was It The

Acting?

Well, Actually, Wedding

Scenes Kind Of Freak Me Out.

Oh, Afraid Of Getting

Married?

No, But Here's A Scary Fact

For You -- Did You Know That

Nearly Half Of All Marriages

Last Their Entire Lives?

Aah!

What About The Ultimate Line?

I Know!

Is That Ever Gonna Come Out On

Time?

Who Do They Think They Are?

You Know? Frank Miller?

[ Chuckles ]

Speaking Of, Did You See His

"Robocop" Movie?

Uh, Yeah -- He Sold Out

Faster Than A Condom Machine On

Prom Night.

Thank God He Redeemed Himself

With "Sin City," Until He Fell

Back Down With "The Spirit."

What Were They Trying To Do?

Cram All Those Comic Books Into

One Movie?

Worst Adaptation Ever.

"Hell Boy" -- Much Better.

Agreed.

You Are Super-Cool And

Totally Awesome.

Thanks, Guys.

I Had A Great Time Tonight.

Yeah, Me Too.

We Should Do It Again

Sometime.

[ Chuckles Nervously ]

Sure.

I'll, Uh, I'll Call You.

[ Chuckling ] Yeah.

My PARENTS ARE SOUND ASLEEP

UPSTAIRS.

Really?

Probably Shouldn't Wake Them Up.

Good Night.

That's Not What I Mea--

Oh.

What's With The Face?

Wha-- I-I Don't Have A Face

On.

Your Mouth's Open.

Are You Sure That This Is

Your Room?

I Wasn't Always Into Comic

Books.

No?

Uh, Well, You Know, Not Until

This Guy.

Oh, Cool.

Li'l Depressed Boy.

He's So...

Romantic?

...Depressed.

Um...

What?

Hey, Do You Want To See My

Halloween Costume?

Um...

Yeah. Yeah, Yeah.

Halloween Costume -- Yeah,

That's A Good Idea.

I-I Want To See It.

Can't Wait, Actually.

Can't Wait To See It.

Okay.

All Right.

I'm Really...

[ Sighs ]

[ Chuckles ]

What? Does --

Does It Make Me Look Weird?

You Look...Awesome!

Where'd You Get That?

At A Garage Sale For The Fat,

Suicidal Cheerleader.

Like, Picture A Lot More Zombie

Makeup And Blood And Junk For

The Dance.

Yeah -- Zombie Cheerleader.

Awesome.

Yeah, I'm Going As

Brain-Dead.

[ Both Chuckle ]

Oh.

Okay.

Sorry.

Stop APOLOGIZING.

Mm!

What?

[ Laughs ]

Hey, It's Nothing To Be

Embarrassed About.

Oh, God! Oh!

What?

That's Go-Gurt That I Was

Saving...For Later.

Oh!

Strawberry-Banana's My Favorite.

Oh.

Oh, God!

[ Grunts ]

Oh, God. Okay. Aah. Aah.

I Think Your Watch Is In My

Hair.

Ow! Aah! Aah! Okay.

Okay. I'm Gonna Extract It.

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

Uh-Oh.

What's "Uh-Oh"?

It's MY DAD!

It's MY DAD! Come ON!

[ Clears Throat ]

Two Minutes, Young Lady.

Or I'll Be Back With My Shovel.

Don't Worry.

I Haven't Had A Curfew Since I

Started Getting Straight A's In

Eighth Grade.

That's So Awesome.

Yeah, Curfews Are Totally

Lame.

No, That You Get Straight

A's.

Hey, Um...Payton?

I-I Was, Like, Okay, I'm Kind

Of Wondering If...Maybe...You

Would...Um...

Yeah?

Would You Like To Go To The

Halloween Dance With A Zombie

Cheerleader?

Yeah. I -- Okay.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, Yeah.

Things Are Going Great.

Two Dates And Counting.

I'm Getting More Superpowers

By The Day.

Now I Can Talk To Girls, Pee

Standing Up, And Fly.

But Sometimes Even Superheroes

Have Power Failures.

Aaaaaaah!

But I'm Figuring It Out.

Yeah, I'm Juggling Two Girls

Pretty Well.

Now All I Need Is A Costume

For The Halloween Dance.

Okay, We Need To Find

Something For You To Wear.

We Have To Go Shopping.

Shopping!

Shopping!

Let's Go Shopping.

[ Laughs ]

What?

Oh, You Have No Idea.

This Is Where I Wanna,

Ah, Ah, I Wanna Take It

I Think That I Can Take It

I Take It! I Take It!

I Think That I Can Take It

Wow.

This Isn't Really The Type Of

Costume I Had In Mind.

Oh.

What About Something...

Like This?

'Cause You Want It,

I Want It

You Want It, I Want It

You Want It, I Want It

You Want It, I Want It

Ahh!

What The Hell Happened?

Never, Ever, Ever Go Shopping

With A Girl.

Ever.

Oh, Son, I Am So Sorry.

I Feel So Responsible For Not

Having Taught You That Already.

Although, I Did Get To Spend

Two Hours Alone With

Carrie Smith.

So, While My Body Is Bruised And

Beaten, My Spirit Soars To

Heretofore-Undiscovered Heights.

[ Sighs Deeply ]

Son, Men Just Don't...

Wax Poetic?

Well.

First Try This Time.

Okay, Clayton -- Payton!

Dad!

I Didn't Mean Anything By

That.

It Was A -- I Don't Get --

I-I-I Get Everybody's Nam--

I Got So Many Kids' Names To

Remember At School, I --

[ Door Slams ]

[ School Bell Rings ]

[ Theme Music Playing ]

If You're Watching This, Then

You're Trying To Date A Man

Who's Obsessed With Me.

What's His Name?

B-Bronko.

Now, The First Step Is

Understanding His Obsession, So

You Got To Breathe Me In.

Seriously, I Don't Mind.

[ Breathes Deeply ]

It's Okay To Like It.

You Have To Understand, I'm

Dripping With Macho.

I'm An American Icon!

Oh, My.

I'm What The Kids Call A

Baller.

It's No Wonder Your Man Is Into

Me.

In Fact...I Think You're Kind

Of Into Me, Aren't You,

Gorgeous?

[ Giggling ] No, Not Really.

[ Sighs ]

Use Your Man's Affinity For

Me And For The Game Of Football

To Your Advantage.

I'll Say A Phrase, Then You

Repeat It.

Okay.

"Great Game Last Night.

The Way He Found The Tight End

So Deep And Went So Long For

The Touchdown."

"Last Night Was Great...

The Way He Found That Tight End

And Went So Deep And Waited So

Long For The Touchdown."

[ Breathes Deeply ]

Great Job.

Now Grab Your Man And Hit The

Showers.

[ School Bell Rings ]

Hey, Babe.

Hi.

So, The Diner Before Or After

The Halloween Dance This

Saturday?

Yeah, Um...

About The Dance...

[ Chuckles Nervously ]

I Can't -- I Got To Do That...

Thing With Andy, The College

Girl.

You Understand...Right?

Don't Worry About It.

Thanks For Being So

Understanding.

You Are Awesome.

[ Sighs ]

All Right, You Goddamn Dorks,

If I See Any Of These Stickers

On Any Of My Doors Or Anybody

Else's Doors, Your Ass Is Out Of

Class.

Get Moving!

[ Cellphone Chirps ]

"I-N-T-T-Y"?

[ Cellphone Chirps ]

"She's Not Talking To You?"

Are You Not Talking To Me, Too?

[ Cellphone Chirps ]

"No, I'm Still Talking To You."

Then Why Are You Texting Me?

Oh, Yeah. I Forgot.

And Why Are You Not Talking

To Me?

[ Cellphone Chirps ]

You're A Cheerleader, And You

Don't Have A Date To The Dance,

Biyotch!

Hey, Guys.

That Gives Me An Idea!

I Do Need To Be At The

Halloween Dance.

We'll See How Clark Likes It

When I'm Lifting Stuff For

Someone.

I'm Going To Ask Someone Else

To The Dance.

I Could Ask Johnny, But He's

Going With Shirley.

I Could Ask Nick, But He's

Going With Jane.

I Could Ask Max, But He's In A

Wheelchair.

So That Just Leaves One Person.

[ Buzzer ]

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