The Shaggy Dog Page #6

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No, but in a good way.

Makes me wanna get out there

and do something about animal testing.

The response I was hoping for.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, what're you

doin' in my daughter's bedroom?

- You rock.

- [Chuckles]

Don't even think about it, Trey.

Shaggy, stop.

What's that?

That's really well-done.

Admit it, this

is more effective than a tattoo.

One thing I learned from Mr. Forrester

is that just because

something seems ridiculous

doesn't mean that it's wrong.

It just takes more courage

to stand up for it.

[Dave] Wow,

you really believe all of this.

I am so proud of you.

[Giggles] Shaggy, stop.

All right. Down, boy.

[Dave] Hey, easy on the hands, bud.

I mean, just imagine

what would have happened

if we hadn't stolen Shaggy

from Grant & Strictland.

[Dave] You what? Stolen?!

You stole a dog from Grant & Strictland,

and you lied about it.

Shaggy. Shaggy, c'mon. C'mon.

Go fetch, boy. C'mon, boy.

I am not your boy, and I'm not

gonna go... Hey, I'll be right back.

[Groans] I've got to stop doing that.

[Josh] I've got chills

They're multiplyin'

And I'm losin' control

[Dave] Keep goin'.

What? Why're you

lookin' at me like that?

[Dave] Hey,

you're pretty darned good at this.

Hey, let's order some pizza.

Mom and Dad are out to dinner.

[Dave] Dinner. Oh, no.

I forgot about our anniversary!

[Woman clears throat]

You should have brought a book.

The single woman's best friend.

Oh. [laughs] I'm not single.

Oh.

Yet. [sighs]

[ Percy Sledge:

When A Man Loves A Woman]

I'm late, I'm late, I'm so late.

I am so late.

I'm also a dog.

So I can't go in there.

- [Sighs]

- [Dave] You are so beautiful.

Shaggy?

[Dave] And I am so sorry, honey.

[Thunder rumbles]

Happy anniversary.

It's me.

I cannot believe that you stood me up

for our anniversary dinner.

[Sobbing] And then you send

the dog with roses in his mouth?

Are you trying to push me away?

[Sighs] We need to talk, but...

I don't know how we're

gonna get past this one.

[Dave] What?

Goodbye.

Honey, no. Please don't cry.

It didn't used to be like this, Shaggy.

He used to be here for everything.

And if he couldn't be,

then he would call,

or he would send a note

or flowers, or he'd...

Sometimes he would write these...

These funny little rhymes. [sniffs]

[Dave whimpering]

[Rebecca crying] Oh, Shaggy.

Don't you cry too.

Aww. Is this how it ends? [sniffs]

With him God-knows-where

and me hugging the dog?

[Dave] I'm gonna figure out what

happened to me, and I'm gonna fix it.

And I'm gonna

be a better man. I promise.

- [Crying] Oh.

- I love you.

[Growling] I love you.

Don't pee in the car, OK?

We're almost home.

[Whimpering]

Hey, thanks, honey.

Oh, boy.

- This is just not workin'.

- [Thunder rumbling]

I'm not a bad dog.

But I'm a terrible man.

I've got to make this better.

- [Heartbeat accelerates]

- [Dog barks echoing]

[Thunder rumbles]

[Door opens]

Hey, Ken, thanks for s...

Hey, hey, Dave.

It's three in the morning,

and you want a warrant

to search Grant & Strictland.

- Right.

- They're the victims.

Listen, listen.

You gotta trust me on this.

Kozak is hidin' somethin'.

Forrester was framed for that arson.

If Forrester was framed,

why'd he throw in the towel?

What...? What're you talking about?

Forrester pleaded out.

Well, why didn't somebody tell me that?

- 'Cause you're off the case.

- You can't do this.

The jury convenes at ten to hear

Forrester's plea. I'll handle it.

And I want you to either

get your head screwed on straight

or find another job. Is that clear?

Abundantly clear.

However, the point I had to...

[sniffing]

[Sniffing]

[Whimpers]

[Barking]

[Screeching]

[All barking]

- What's gotten into them?

- I don't know.

Eh, boy.

Can't...

That's not gonna work.

I'm too big.

Hey, you. Hold on a second.

Do me a favor.

All right? Here.

All right. Throw the stick, over there.

Why would I throw the stick?

Just throw the stick, please.

Why would I throw the stick?

Because I'll give you

$5 to throw the stick.

Oh, I look like a guy

who needs 5 bucks.

Gimme the money.

- Speed or distance?

- Uh, distance.

[Panting] It's so close. It's close.

This time, throw it

and... and yell, "Fetch!"

Don't make me bite ya.

Fetch!

Wow. I can't believe that worked.

Thanks!

Whoa.

[Grunts] Drop the stick.

All right. Perfect. Nice fit.

[Sniffs] That's it, follow your nose.

Wait a minute. [sniffs]

What's that smell?

What is it? Oh, it's me.

[Sighs]

The transistor.

The microchip. The artificial heart.

All footnotes compared to this.

[Coughing]

[Coughing]

[Dave] Bingo.

[Coughs, wheezes]

- What's happening?

- He's going into shock.

It's the serum. It doesn't work.

- What do we do?

- Of course it works.

I just didn't give it to him.

- What have you done to him?

- [Kozak] Lance? Lance?

I'm so sorry that

I had to do this to you,

but I just couldn't let you

take all the credit again.

And plus, you're a pig, and I hate you.

I hate you in so many ways.

Can you hold this for a second?

Get rid of it, accomplice.

[Gasps] Ah.

But is he... dead?

No, he's not dead. He's fully conscious,

but he's unable to speak.

Doctors will think it's dementia.

[Kozak] The drug itself

will wear off in a few months.

But by then I'll be CEO,

and I will be fabulously,

insanely, unimaginably wealthy.

- This was not part of the plan.

- This is totally wrong.

Of course, I'll cut both

of you in on his share.

- I'm cool with that.

- It's fine by me.

Good. Uh, Larry,

why don't you wheel him up

to his office, park him at his desk.

Or, uh, should I say, my desk?

[Dave] Oh, boy. Gotta get outta here.

Go, go, go, go, go!

- What was that?

- What was that?

[Dave] I knew Kozak was up to something.

Carly was right about everything.

Forrester was framed.

[Barks] Uh-oh.

Looks like I'm walkin'.

- [Gwen] Wow.

- [Larry] That's somethin'.

That's... Wow. Do you realize

the significance of that?

Wow. You think?

Yeah, I think it's mildly significant.

Unfortunately, it's on tape.

So we... [stammers]

[Sighs] I'll tell you

what we're gonna do.

You two are going

to pay Mr. Douglas a visit.

[Sighs]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

No, not my babies. Not my darlings.

Oh, evil.

These hooligans! [grunts]

Where's Trey?

We're gonna be late for school.

Shoulda gotten a ride from Mom.

What's the matter?

[Sobs] Do you realize what's happening?

Mom and Dad are splitting up.

How do you know?

[Scoffs] Josh, it's obvious.

[Doorbell rings]

- [Barks]

- Shaggy.

[Dave] I witnessed an attempted murder.

You were right about everything.

An innocent man is about ready

to go to jail. I gotta take a nap.

Don't wake me unless I'm human.

I mean, did you see that note he left?

"I'll explain everything"?

We're gonna get the talk.

What talk?

The "Mom and Dad

are having problems" talk.

Then Dad'll leave.

[Scoffs] They'll say it's

temporary, but it won't be.

Are you sure you're not

just drama-queening?

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