The Shaggy Dog Page #7

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Josh, he didn't even

come home last night.

But if you ask me,

he stopped caring

a long time before that.

[Dave] No, no, no, no.

No, that's not it.

No, no, no.

[Carly] Shaggy.

Shaggy, would you stop

making such a...?

That's impossible.

[Dave] Finally.

How?

- [Josh] Grant & Strictland?

- Yes.

Mr. Forrester said they were

making mutant animals,

and... and that's

where I found Shaggy.

And Shaggy bit Dad.

- [Whimpers]

- [Gasps] Oh, Daddy!

[Dave] It's OK, kiddo. It's OK.

[Crying] I'm so sorry.

This is all my fault.

Can you please forgive me?

There's nothin' to forgive.

[Crying]

I'm gonna go call Mom.

So you saw the game yesterday?

Yeah.

I didn't want to let you down,

but I'm just no good.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You are good.

- [ringing]

- Come on, come on.

Josh? This...

There we go. Lemme get in here.

Do this. This is what you love.

'Cause if you keep playin' football,

you're gonna get hurt.

Thanks, Dad.

[Dave] And somethin' else.

I know, I know.

- Deal?

- It's a deal.

Mom, it's Carly.

Call me back as soon

as you get this message. Bye.

[Dave] Did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

Somebody's peein' on the lawn!

Nobody makes it on my lawn

and gets away with it!

I'm gonna... [grunts] Oh!

Oh!

[Woozy] Clean up on aisle three.

Price check on dog biscuits.

OK. Hi, Mr. Douglas.

- Who are you?

- How are ya?

[Growls]

[Mumbling] Wait a second. I don't...

I don't feel so good.

- Dad!

- Dad! Daddy!

- Hit it.

- Yeah, OK.

[Tires squealing]

I'm sorry you're a dog. I am.

Also, very sorry that you

won't be leaving here alive.

People will be wondering

where you've disappeared to.

Then again...

...dogs do wander off. [chuckles]

I can't believe you think you're

gonna get away with this, Kozak.

Nonetheless, before you die,

we're going to want

to run some tests on you.

Eenie, meenie, minie,

cut you, hurt you, ow,

your nose is coming off.

Because we just don't understand

how you turned into him.

- [Barks]

- I'm very excited.

I can't wait to get inside that body

of yours and just poke around.

Aah!

Oh, you filthy little mongrel!

[Blows, pants] That wasn't very nice.

[Dave] That hurt, didn't it?

Gonna have to work

on that attitude when I get back.

Meanwhile, we are gonna

run upstairs for a minute.

It seems Dr. Strictland

is having a bit of a health crisis.

And after that, we're off to court

to watch Justin Forrester

back down to save his own skin.

Be back to cut you up

like a birthday cake later.

[Chittering]

Huh. Who are you, anyway?

[Barking]

[Dave] Tibet. Really.

Well, let me ask you this: [barking]

Why did you bite me?

And turning me into a dog

would help you... how?

[Whimpers]

I guess you didn't think

about that, did you?

[Barking, chittering]

Well, I turn into a human

when I sleep,

but there's no time

for that now, is there?

There's gotta be another way.

[Barking]

Meditation?

- Hey, sorry I'm late.

- Get in and drive.

- What's wrong with you?

- Dad's been dognapped. Go, go!

[Dave] Inhale, exhale.

I got to get my heart rate down.

[Inhales, exhales]

I'm on a beach.

[Echoing] Inhale, exhale.

Surrounded by fire hydrants.

[Deep breathing]

Food everywhere.

Slow rolling waves of gravy,

crashing onto the shore.

The beached whale

made of peanut butter.

[Heartbeat slowing]

[Dave] It worked.

It worked. Great.

- [Barks]

- I'm back. It's good, it's good.

[Howling]

- New problem. New problem.

- [Barks]

[Dave] Yeah. I've got to get those keys.

Now if I could just get over there.

OK. Yeah. Go. Go.

- Go.

- [Creaking]

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no... Oh!

Oh! Oh.

[Grunting] Oh.

Oh, boy. OK.

Who's got a plan?

Snake! Do they have ears?

- [Barking]

- Can you hear me?

- [Barks]

- Don't need to show that hood at me.

You better watch

'cause it's gonna fall over.

- All right, monkey.

- [Hooting]

Sorry, chimp. You gotta push.

On three, ready?

One, two, three. Push!

Harder this time. One, two, three. Push!

[Dave] I need some help from

the rabbits. You gotta hop into this.

One, two, three. Hop!

Aw, ya almost got it. Ya almost got it.

One more time.

We got a big one. Here we go.

One, two, three. Hop!

Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

[Hooting]

[Dave] Yo, snake! Walk, skirt...

Do what... Uh, you know, slither.

Go, go, go. Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Yeah, yeah. Thattaboy, Thattaboy!

Do you see where it is?

'Course you do. Perfect.

Stretch. Reach up.

Up there, up there.

That's it, that's it, that's it.

[Dave chuckles]

Beautiful.

Yes! We're outta here!

[All barking]

[Grunts] Up, up.

- [Dave grunts]

- [Barks]

Yes! You're next.

Follow the dog.

All right. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Up there. Go!

Take care of the rabbit.

- [Gas hissing]

- [Belches]

[Dave] Get it? Help him out.

Easy, easy. Come here.

Good. [grunts] There you...

Come on. Go, go, go.

- [Croaks]

- Come here. Come here. Come on.

Come here.

[Grunting] Jeez.

What have you been eatin'?

- [Barks]

- [Dave] Sorry about that.

All right, up here. Up here. Up...

Boy, you're heavy for a snake.

Come on. Oh! Oh! Uh!

Ooh, yeah. That's creepy. That's...

That's creepy. Whoo. All right.

[Dave] It's a left, a left,

a right and a left.

Just go towards the light.

I'll meet you guys out there.

[Electricity crackling]

- Nice.

- Thank you.

[Barking]

[Howls]

There he is! Look!

Come here! Come on, Dad! Come on!

Come on, let's go!

We won't let them get away with it.

Don't worry.

- [Barking]

- That's right.

You know, you guys seem like

nice young people with great futures.

You know that I'm

the deputy district attorney.

Kidnapping is a capital crime.

You just can't lock people

in cages, guys.

Yeah, there's a definite... line

we're crossing here.

We crossed that line

a long time ago, Larry.

[Gwen] Deal with it.

You know, you're not

gonna get away with this.

Now...

...you be a good little doggy

and do just what we say.

[Electricity crackling]

Doesn't feel so good to get zapped,

does it? Attaboy, chimp!

Good, now get over here

and get me out of here.

Come on. Put that thing down.

- [Barking]

- Please don't be mad, Daddy.

Don't worry, Dad. We're gonna take you

to Mom and explain everything.

[Sighs] He's really angry.

- [Animals chittering]

- All right. We gotta go.

Do you know which way the door is?

All right. Good, good, good.

Which way?

- Are you sure?

- [Monkey chitters]

I like the dark travertine better.

What do you think?

I agree. I'll push for that one.

- Yeah.

- OK, good.

[Barking]

Could you just excuse me

for a minute? I...

Oh, yeah, sure.

It's tough bein' a single mom.

[Sighs] I'm not a single mom.

[Carly] Mom, we need to talk.

Why aren't you guys in school?

And why is Shaggy here?

It's not a dog. It's Dad.

I thought we were going

to break it to her slowly.

Grant & Strictland's been doing

these weird animal tests.

So when Shaggy bit Dad,

he turned into a dog.

- Carly, that's not possible.

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