The Shaggy Dog Page #8

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- It's true.

It... The computer.

The other night,

he was typing on the computer.

Come on, Dad. Type Mom a message.

Come on.

- [Growling]

- Come on.

Come on, Dad.

Do it like you did the other night.

Come on. You know, like this.

Just one sentence. "I am Dad."

- How 'bout just "Dad"?

- [Rebecca sighs]

Kids...

...I know that these last couple days

- have been difficult, but...

- [phone rings]

[Phone ringing]

- Hello?

- Hi, honey, it's me.

It's your father.

Wow. Uh, so many questions.

Do you know why the kids

are at my office with Shaggy?

He's not Shaggy.

His name is Khyi Yag Po.

- Khyi Yag who?

- [Barks]

[Dave] Po, that's his real name.

You know, how did the kids

find him? That's weird.

That is not the only thing that's weird.

No, not that.

You oughta see what I'm lookin' at.

They're trying

to tell me that he is you.

[Dave] Stop that! What are you doing?

Stop doing that, all right?

You, quiet down.

He's not... Guys, guys,

guys, guys! He's not me.

Well, yes, I gathered that.

But they're half right. Look, um,

I'll meet you at the courthouse,

and I'll explain everything to ya.

- [Rebecca] You better explain it now.

- Well, I can't explain...

Hold on a sec. I can't. The chimp.

What? Excuse me. The monkey...

- [Rebecca] Hello?

- What is it?

[Squealing]

The chimp... The chimp?

The chimp has got sunglasses on.

He's supposed to be

giving me directions.

- [Snarls]

- Honey, you gotta believe me.

- [Barking]

- [Panting]

[Barking]

- I'll meet you at the courthouse.

- What?

Just meet me at the courthouse

and bring me some clothes, OK?

- Dave!

- Watch the rat!

I love you! Everybody, calm down!

Dave!

What's the matter with you?

How come you can't act

like the snake, right?

- [Barks]

- Eh.

He wants us to meet him

at the courthouse with clothes.

- I don't get it.

- It doesn't make any sense.

Two days ago,

when your father came home

in the middle of the night,

he tried to convince me that...

...he'd turned into a dog.

- Let's go to the courthouse.

- Come on, come on.

That's my Norah Jones CD.

[Dave] You can play it

if you want. Play it.

- [Horn honking]

- Or you could throw it out of the car.

Why'd you do that? Oh, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Everybody watch out, watch out!

[Tires squealing]

- [Dave] Ahh!

- [Snarls]

Phew. We're all done?

It's OK. Yeah, it's all right.

I know, I saw it coming. [sighs]

All rise for the

Honorable Judge Whittaker.

[Bangs gavel]

[Bailiff] Be seated and come to order.

All right. I gotta go, guys.

All right, you guys stay here.

All of you stay here.

Look, look. I'll be right back.

Don't talk to anybody.

Don't play the music, and, uh...

You're in charge.

[Heartbeat accelerates]

[Dave] To infinity and beyond!

Do you guys think he's really coming?

I don't know, kids.

Wait, look!

[Barking]

[Carly] Daddy? Is that you?

[Dave] It's me, kiddo.

But it can't be.

He's a dog.

[Dave] Would a dog say this:

[Barking] I love you.

What did you say?

[Barking] I love you.

- Oh, honey.

- [Dave] You got it.

I love you too.

[Dave] I love you.

It's weird for me too. But it is me.

That was cool.

And I'm real sorry about everything.

I'm really sorry.

And I'll make it up to all of you.

But right now, I've got a trial to stop.

[Trey] Uh, Mr. Douglas?

Yeah.

- Ooh.

- No, I can't go.

[Chuckles]

Everyone's gonna

need therapy after this.

Good luck, honey.

Counselors, you may proceed.

Your Honor, at this time,

my client would like to change his plea.

Hold everything, please.

Hold everything.

[Crowd murmuring]

Kozak, sit.

[Judge Whittaker] Mr. Douglas,

it is my understanding

that you are no longer on this case.

- That is exactly right.

- I understand, Your Honor.

If I could just have a few

moments with my associate.

It's very important.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Give me a chance. Give me one more

chance. I will not disappoint you.

Stay, Kozak!

You gotta trust me.

If you ever trusted me,

you gotta trust me right this minute.

- He's back on, Your Honor.

- [Sighs]

We...

Let's get Kozak back on the stand

one more time. Let me handle it.

[Clears throat]

We'd like to recall

Dr. Kozak to the stand.

[Judge Whittaker] Dr. Kozak,

would you please return to the stand.

Uh, I'd be, uh, delighted.

Counselor, you are

on a very short leash.

This court has lost all patience

with ridiculous behavior.

Your Honor, just because something looks

ridiculous doesn't mean it's not true.

Just takes more courage

to believe in it.

Just don't let your courage get itself

kicked out of my courtroom.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Dr. Kozak, may I remind you

you are still under oath.

Yes, you may.

Dr. Kozak, is it true your

company is workin' on a drug

that will extend human life

like a hundred years?

I am not at liberty

to discuss that matter.

Of course you're not.

But if that were true,

that would be a pretty big deal, right?

Ah, "were true,"

which it is not, probably.

And whoever was in charge

of developing such a thing... Whoo!

Not only would they

be insanely wealthy,

they would be immortalized

in history, right?

[Chuckles] Yes, I suppose they would.

Wow. Wow. What a thrill it must be

to work under Dr. Strictland.

[Sniffs]

'Scuse me.

Dr. Strictland, the creative force

at your company, right?

Well, it takes many different people

to contribute to the higher... [babbles]

[Dave] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

But what an honor it must be

to work in Dr. Strictland's shadow.

I don't work in anyone's shadow.

I wouldn't. I couldn't live with myself.

There's nothing wrong

being in second place.

Second fiddle,

second banana, second up.

I am the chief scientist.

I, me, mine! [growls]

[Dave] Ho! Come on.

Gettin' kinda agitated. What's up, dog?

Pick up a little virus

down there in the lab, did ya?

Must be something

going around. [growling]

[Both growling, snarling]

[Judge Whittaker] No more growling.

Mr. Douglas, I have had enough.

He stole a sacred dog from China,

stuck needles in it

and almost killed this thing

for his little experiments.

- The witness is not on trial.

- Thank you.

You put your boss in a coma.

Escort Mr. Douglas out of the courtroom.

You set that fire

to cover up your crime!

He set that fire, and you're trying...

You're trying to frame Forrester for it!

I've seen that monkey that barks!

It's real!

They've also got this rabbit

they taught how to fetch!

- He does!

- Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

please disregard everything

Mr. Douglas has said.

- [Sighs]

- Hey!

Kozak! Kozak! Kozak! Go fetch!

Mmm! [pants]

[Crowd murmuring]

[Growling]

[Panting]

Sorry, uh, things

are a little stressy at work,

long hours and the like. What?

What?

- [Crowd gasping]

- What?

- Oh!

- [Crowd gasping]

[Kozak grunts] Whoo!

[Dave] If that isn't evidence

of genetic mutation,

I don't know what is!

On second thought, bailiff,

take him into custody.

For what?

Shufflin' around a little DNA? Huh?

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