The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #10

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Dina (as she puts some chips on his plate): It was good. You did great, honey.

Dean:
You know what? No, I didn’t.

Dina:
No?

Dean:
No, I didn’t.

Dina (sitting next to him): Don’t be so hard on yourself, honey.

Dean:
Why shouldn’t I? They say you have to bully yourself sometimes to do well, This is one of those times--

Dina:
No, They don’t say that, Your bat-crazy mother did. And you know how she turned out--

Dean:
Don’t talk about my mother like that!

Dina backs away (and she gulps).

Dina:
What do you mean?

Dean (Randomly heavily breathing as he drinks a lot of water out of his glass and he then slams it down on the table): I’m sorry, I was just thinking, You know?

Dean gets up, and goes back to the bedroom. He sits at his computer, and begins writing. He coughs, and then says to himself: You’ve got this, You’re Dean White! You’re Dean freaking White, Man! We then cut to a forest, a dark and bleak forest, A guy is walking in the dirt, his muddy boots get stuck, causing him to get stuck. He looks around, and looks back at his map. He mutters some curse words, and then goes to keep walking, but he realizes he is stuck in the mud.

Li:
Oh you have got to be kidding me.

Li attempts to get out of the mud, but fails. A frog on a rock notices him, and makes a noise to him. He waves to the frog, but it just scares it away.

Li (as the frog hurries away): Useless animal.

Li then attempts to get out of the mud once more by shaking his whole body, but this does nothing at all. Several spiders then begin to crawl towards him. They are tarantulas.

Li (noticing the tarantulas and gulping): Hey, Spiders! Don’t come near me. Please do not.

The tarantulas then stop, and a siren then goes off.

Li:
Oh dear.

The tarantulas, in their panic, jump onto Li and bite every part of his body, He then sees a tornado coming straight for him, and he then gulps one of the loudest gulps you’ll ever hear.

Li:
God help me.

The tornado slams into the shot, and we cut to an overhead shot of Li, who is being sucked into the tornado. He is screaming for his life as we cut inside the tornado. It looks like pure beauty, and Li looks like he saw the most amazing thing he has ever seen. The spiders are swung away from him, and he then screams as he is slammed down on the ground into a Burger King.

Li (groaning in agony): Oh god.

Sara (a cashier who begins screaming): OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! BILL! BILL!

Bill (running out from the bathroom pulling his pants up): What the f*** is going on-- (noticing the really dead looking body on the ground with a lot of spider bites), Holy moley.

Li:
I can’t feel my legs! I can’t feel my legs-- MY ARMS! I CAN’T FEEL THEM!

Bill (kneeling down): Good thing I went to med school.

Bill feels of Li, and his eyes go wide. He is bleeding almost everywhere, and he screams as Bill feels of his arms and legs.

Li (in a lot of pain): OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! STOP IT STOP!

Li bites Bill’s arm, and Bill swings away.

Bill:
AGH! Jesus Christ dude, Was you in that forest where the EF6 hit?

Li:
Yeah?

Bill:
God, The tornado launched you all the way from Washington to Florida.

Li:
What?

Bill:
You’re in Florida!

Li (Groaning):
I can’t feel anything! I can’t feel--

Bill:
You’re now surprisingly calm after hearing that.

Sara:
You’re surprisingly calm considering you just got bit by a random guy.

Li:
What?

Sara:
You bit him.

Li:
What?

Sara:
I said--

Bill:
Meh, He only bit my watch, See?

Bill shows that his watch was bit, but none of his flesh got bit.

Bill:
Now if he bit my flesh, I would’ve socked the guy, but--

Sara:
No you wouldn’t.

Bill:
Yeah, I would’ve killed you.

Sara:
Yes you would’ve.

Li:
My sock is wet! My socks’ wet!

Bill:
Oh god no.

Sara:
What?

Li:
Yeah, What?

Bill:
God, Let’s hope.

Li:
Hope for what?

Bill (going to take his boots off): Which sock is it?

Li (suddenly in pain again): ALL OF THEM!

Bill (going to take them off and heavily breathing): Here goes nothing.

Bill takes the boots off, and Li’s white socks are now very, very dark red. Bill gasps, and Sara runs off (she is throwing up). Li has his eyes closed, and doesn’t open them.

Li:
What’s happening, DOC?!

Bill:
Uhhhhh, Ohhhhhh, Uhhhhh, Well, You ummmm…

Li opens his eyes, and looks at his feet, They are more than just injured. Bill then throws up on the floor, and then looks back at Li.

Li:
OH MY--

Bill (putting his hand over Li’s mouth): Don’t say anything. Don’t--

Li (muffled, but not very much as Bill’s hand seems to be really, really weak): OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! MY FEETS! MY FEETS!

Bill:
Feet.

We cut to Li in a hospital bed, Some 50s show is on, and Bill and Sara walk in (Li no longer has his two feet),

Sara:
Hey, Sport.

Li:
My feet. My feet.

Bill (sitting next to Li): How ya holdin’ up?

Li:
My feet, man. My feet!

Sara (as she sits near the window): They ain’t gonna hold you up anymore.

Bill:
Sara!

Sara:
What? It’s true!

Bill:
That doesn’t mean you just speak your mind! This isn’t no podcast!

Sara:
You mean this isn’t a podcast?

Li (chuckling):
That is how grammar works.

Bill:
I don’t need no guy from Washington comin’ in my country tellin’ me how to talk!

Li:
You know Florida and Washington are states in the U.S-- OH yeah, I forgot, I’m in Florida, not Washington, so people talk like this instead of talking normally.

Sara:
Not me.

Bill:
She’s a Cali girl.

Sara:
Born and Raised, I moved down here though because, Ya know--

Bill:
I lived in Savannah. I dated a girl named Sam down there, but I was forced to go back to jail, and I was moved down here. Luckily, Sara bailed me out, She’s Sam’s sister, and we started dating, Kinda because she forced me to as payment, but luckily, Sam and Sara are like twins, except with different fathers, and she was forced to go with her father. Her father is a famous actor, so they moved down there when she was about a couple weeks old, Her mother didn’t want her--

Li:
Wow, What a neat origin story, Where’s the spider bite? The radioactive venom thing?

Sara:
Huh? Oh, Honey, Can you go get Li a drink?

Bill (walking off angrily): Why yes, I’ll get him the best drink in the history of people getting other people drinks that are the best drinks in the history of other people getting the drinks other people went to get them in the history of--

Li (after Bill gets out of their hearing range): What was his deal?

Sara:
He’s been like this for god knows how long. I don’t know what to do about him. He just seems like he’s fed up with everything, I mean, He’s got a wife, he’s got a great job--

Li:
You call burger king a great job?

Sara:
He’s a manager, He’s got a great house, He’s great in all, but sometimes I just think--

Bill (Walking in with several cans of root beer): Drink!

Sara:
That was fast.

Li (as Bill hands him a root beer): I hate root beer.

Bill:
Drink it, fat guy.

Li (looking shocked): Jeez.

Sara:
Billie?

Bill (handing her a root beer): Hey, Honey! You want a root beer?

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