The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #9

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She throws a book at Chase, causing his demise also.

Bill:
What the--?! He was on our side!

Sara:
He’ll tell, Actors are their characters, and his character was a tattletale.

Bill:
Why did I listen to you? You’re gonna get us gone!

Sara:
No I won’t!

While Bill and Sara argue, Logan begins sawing the chains with his glasses. The chains break instantly due to them being weak mats.

Dean (quietly):
There we go.

Sara:
YOU CALLED ME A--!

Bill:
Liar! You liar! How could you--

Bill grabs a brick and hits Sara in the head with it several times, causing her demise.

Bill:
I’m sorry, Sara.

Logan jumps on Bill and Bill begins hitting his hands with the brick, Logan headbutts Bill and Bill headbutts him back, causing Logan to fall onto the ground.

Dean:
Agh.

Bill (grabbing Dean by the neck): How dare you defy me, less superior one!

Dean begins shaking as the door randomly opens.

Bill:
What the--?

Brenda suddenly jumps onto Bill and Bill begins shaking (shaking does nothing).

Brenda:
Who’s the less superior one now?!

Bill:
YOU!

Bill breaks Brenda’s back, causing her demise. He throws her in front of Logan.

Bill:
Game over.

Dean:
You can’t do this to me!

Bill:
And you can’t ruin my career like you are now.

Dean:
NO! NO! NO! YOU--!

Bill shuts the door, and is then injected with poison by an unknown figure, the figure unmasks to be Xavier’s actor.

Xavier:
Hello, Bill.

Bill:
You little--

Xavier slaps him as we cut to Bill waking up, chained to Logan’s (Logan is chained up by his neck) arm. Bill begins shaking his arm.

Bill:
Real metal, f***.

Dean:
This isn’t no prop.

Bill (looking up at Logan): Logan! God, You gotta--

Dean:
I ain’t gotta do anything!

Bill:
You gotta get us out of here--!

Dean:
No I don’t.

Bill:
Come on!

Dean:
How about you come on? You’re f***ing nuts! I’m not going to f***ing help you!

Bill:
Oh you got to!

Dean:
No! I f***ing won’t!

Xavier (stabs Bill in the chest with a key): You want your freedom?

Xavier keeps stabbing Bill before stabbing in the stomach and sticking in deep in his stomach.

Xavier:
How’s this for a rewrite?

Dean:
What the f***?

Xavier pulls out another key.

Dean:
What are you--

Xavier stabs Dean in the chest with a key and Dean begins throwing up blood.

Dean:
F*** you.

Xavier:
What, Logan?

Dean:
I said f*** you. What the f*** is wrong with all of you?!

Bill stabs Dean in the neck with the key he has.

Bill:
How’s this for a meta-line? Hey, Audience, IS THIS BLOODY ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Dean:
You f***ing retard.

Bill:
What?

Dean pulls the key out of his chest, It is revealed to be fake.

Dean:
You f***ing retard! You gotta ruin every scene don’t you?! F***.

Bill falls unconscious, and We fade to a shot of several TVs. This shot is on one TV, one shot is a shot of The Adventures Of Dean White, one is a shot of The Somewhat Normal Life Of Billie Boi, and the other is the Li subplot. A man is watching the TVs.

Dave (writing on a notepad): KOBE?

A man named Kobe runs in the room with a notebook in his hands.

Kobe:
Yes?

Dave:
We failed.

Kobe:
Motherf***er.

Dave:
We’ll have to bring Dean White back.

Kobe:
No, No, NO. We left him behind, We can’t ruin it again--

Dave:
I SAID FOR YOU TO F***ING BRING HIM BACK YOU USELESS MAN!

Kobe (Walking off): I’m getting me a spouse.

Dave chuckles as a TV turns on, It has the character from TAODW on it.

Dave (grabbing a bag of popcorn on the ground): F***ing sequels. They are always bad.

A voice says Freddy’s Revenge was bad as Li suddenly bangs Dave on the head with a chair.

Dave (falling onto the ground): Li’s Revenge.

Li:
Motherfucking Cabin in the Woods type sh*t?

Kobe (walking in the room): I suppose so.

Li:
I love that movie.

Kobe:
You do?

Li:
Yeah.

Kobe:
No you don’t.

Li:
Yes I do.

Kobe:
I dunno.

Li:
I dunno either.

Kobe and Li engage in a fight as Kobe points at the ceiling. Li quickly loses however as Kobe cracks his neck and Dean (not Logan or Lo) wakes up in his bed.

Dean:
F***ing f***! F*** f*** f***--!

Bill (walking in the room): Miss me?

Dean almost screams as he wakes up again in his bed, sweating as he begins to be strangled by Bill.

Bill:
Missed me?

Dean:
F*** you and f*** your rewrites!

Bill:
BE YOURSELF!

Dean:
What?

Bill throws Dean into a portal and becomes Logan again. He is in a plane writing a script that turns out to be this script.

Logan (looking at the camera): Yeah, This would be my Obsession.

After credits scene: We cut to a cold winter night, A man is walking on the street. He looks at the camera, and walks up to it.

Bill:
What the f***?

He notices that he has a hole in his forehead.

Bill (licking his finger and rubbing the hole): The f***? What the--?

Little girls appear before him. They say You’ll Go Next several times.

Bill:
Ah f*** off.

We open on a man sitting at a desk. He has an “untitled doc” open.

Dean (on the phone): It was a failure?

Cole:
They hated it, I mean hated.

Dean:
Man, I thought it was-- Yeah, I think it was awful.

Cole:
It was too, just, What was that?

Dean:
I want to write something, everybody can love!

Cole:
Love?

Dean:
I want to write a story that people can watch, and--

Cole:
A story people can watch? You mean--

Dean:
You know what I mean, Cole, I got to make it something people will love! I hated that script, but Dina said it was great, So--

Cole:
Well, You know what they say, Don’t trust a cheater.

Dean:
What the heck are you saying, Cole?

Cole:
Huh?

Dean:
You seem like you was calling Dina a--

Cole:
Oh no! I didn’t mean it like that! Come on man! You can trust me! Right?!

Dean:
I dunno, Can I?

Cole:
I guess.

Dean (hanging up): Goodbye, Cole--

Cole:
What? Sequel?

Dean:
Huh?

Cole:
My boss just told me that it turned out that it grossed over 1 Billion.

Dean:
Oh, That’s super funny dude. You’re hilarious. I just heard it barely made it to 24.5 million. Oh yeah, It was April Fool’s Day! Haha! Bring out the candles--!

Cole:
It randomly jumped this past weekend.

Dean:
I don’t believe you.

Cole:
You gotta write a sequel! You playing Lo was awesome! They hated the movie, but your performance as Lo was loved! Come on! Just do it! I swear I’m not lying! They said that it was a hit!

Dean:
I’m the worst actor in the history of film, Everybody on the street tells me that!

Cole:
They’re just joking!

Dean:
I don’t know, I almost got an anxiety attack half the time during filming, due to me not being able to--

Cole:
Come on, Man! Your movie was a hit!

Dean:
You just said it was a failure.

Cole:
Seems like I was wrong.

Dean:
No! You wasn’t! I don’t know why you think that?! It was awful! AND I MEAN AWFUL!

Cole:
Don’t yell at me dude! I’m just the messenger!

Cole hangs up.

Dean:
Ugh.

We cut to Dean walking in the kitchen, He sits as Dina gives him a plate.

Dina:
Lunch should be--

Dean:
You liked The Somewhat Normal Life Of Billie Boi, Right?

Dina (grabbing the butter out of the pantry): What?

Dean:
Ya know, That--

Dina:
Oh yeah, That?

Dean (as Dina butters the chicken patties and puts them on his plate): Yeah.

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