The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #8

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We cut to Lo getting in his car, he bangs his head on the steering wheel, and calls Sam.

Sam:
Hey, Lo. What’s going on?

Lo:
Your ex called.

Sam:
Who? Dave?

Lo:
No, Bill.

Sam:
Oh, That kid that bullied him in high school--

Lo:
You dated him, fool!

Sam:
What did he want?

Lo:
He wanted me to come to Florida so we could hang out.

Sam:
Ah. Did he invite me or something?

Lo:
No, God no. After that breakup, I don’t think he ever wants to see you again.

Sam:
He cheated on me! Let’s make that abundantly clear. He was great, and then, Well--

Lo:
And somehow you framed him for tax fraud, and he got arrested, DESPITE THERE NOT BEING ANY PROOF!

Sam:
Ugh, Is this why you called? You certainly didn’t try to stand up for him.

Lo:
You are a liar! You lied to me! Saying we’ll have a life together and f***! BULL!

Sam:
Goodbye, Lo.

Lo (suddenly sounding desperate): NO! Please don’t hang up! I got nothing! I need friends! Please, god! Please--!

Sam:
What do you want from me, Lo?! I’m suddenly supposed to be your best friend after another friend ticks you off?! NO! That is not a friend, Lo! I can’t just be your all of this f***ing sh*t that has been going on! I’m not the answer! You just can’t keep messing up everything! You made Chason mad, You made Dave mad, and you threw me and Bill away! It doesn’t matter anymore, Lo, I suppose you know that, and if you don’t, It is about time you finally get a clue! And if you can never find that clue, Keep digging! Eventually, That clue will tell you, WE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS! YOU can’t keep doing this! I’ve told you a million times already! Even in this conversation! I can try to help you, but I can’t be anything more than an acquaintance to you, Lo! Do you understand me?!

Lo (hanging up):
No wonder he cheated on you.

As Lo drives off (some christian song plays on the radio), he looks at the buildings. He begins to cry, and he stops in the middle of the road. He gets out of his car, and screams at the cars passing by, cursing at them telling them that they’re bad people, or that they are worthless. We then cut to him reading a bible, sitting on the floor at a church.

Lo:
So Mary died?

Elton (priest):
What, Son?

Lo:
Mary.

Elton:
Oh, No one believed her, She was an important figure in--

Lo:
Oh blah, blah, blah, It doesn’t matter does it? Life is just life, You live until you can’t live no more, THAT’S IT!

Elton:
You seem troubled, Lo.

Lo:
How do you know my name?

Elton:
Wait, That’s actually your name?

Lo (nodding):
Yeah, It is.

Elton:
Well, f***. I’m a genius!

Lo:
Genius?

Elton:
GENIUS!

Lo:
Really? Come on, man, You’re smarter than that!

Elton (nodding):
Yeah, I guess I am.

Lo:
f*** yeah you are!

Elton:
f*** yeah I am!

We cut to them walking in a bed bath & beyond, on the towel section.

Elton:
We’re gonna confront Bill!

Lo:
Wasn’t you the guy who arrested him?

Elton:
f*** yeah I was!

Lo:
You was a cop then priest?

Elton:
f*** yeah I was?

Lo:
Why did you say it in a questioning tone!

Elton:
Why’d you ask a question sounding way too happy.

Lo:
You sound neutral.

Elton:
Never heard that word.

Lo:
You’ve never heard of the work neutral?

Elton:
No, I haven’t. Is it a drink? Diet neutral?

Lo:
No, But if I ever invent a drink I’ll call it that.

Elton:
f*** yeah!

Lo:
f*** yeah!

Elton:
Yeah!

Lo:
Yeah!

They begin screaming yeah as we cut to Chase asleep in his apartment before he wakes up, and grabs a piece of pizza off the floor. The floor is full of cat poo and random chicken wing bones. He begins petting his cat.

Chase:
Just another day in paradise, huh Hannah?

Hannah meows, because, she’s a cat what did you expect? A bark?

Chase:
Yeah, I know.

Chase gets up out of his bed and drops the pizza slice on his big toe.

Chase:
Well that’s infected.

He stretches as we cut to him brushing his teeth, we notice a picture of Him and Sam kissing before we then cut to him feeding Hannah. We then hear a knock.

Chase:
COME IN.

Knocking gets louder.

Chase:
I SAID COME IN.

As he knocks on it, He is hit in the head with a golf club (the second this happens it cuts to black). We then cut to Li, biting into a cookie as he watches Halloween (2018).

Li:
Come on, Ally! Come on!

Sara (walking in): Some movie huh?

Li:
Not as good as H20.

Sara (sits in the seat Bill was sitting in): Where’d Bill go?

Li:
He pulled a golf club out from under this bed and said He had some universe type stuff to take care of.

Sara:
What?

We cut to the trailer. Dean is sitting as we hear random noises. A bag of chips fall down to the room. Dean jumps and he then gets up before gunshots are heard.

Dean:
What the f***?

Dean grabs a Bat and goes outside in the dark.

Dean:
Where are you?!

Bill shows up behind him and hits him in the head with a golf club. He goes unconscious, and Bill drags him away.

Bill:
You know what they say about sequels, They’re always the same as the other one.

We have a montage of every main character in the film except Li be kidnapped by Bill as we cut back to that place in TAODW where the final act took place, The back room.

Sara (as she wakes up): What is going on--

A montage of him chaining them up to the pipes happens before we cut back to Logan (will be credited as Dean in script) who is chained to the wall. He wakes up.

Dean:
What the--

Bill (slow claps): Hello, Logan.

Dean:
What?

Bill:
Your writings have come full circle, haven’t they?

Chase wakes up, now his actor.

Chase:
Logan? What’s going on man? This is a different set--

Bill:
SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU FILTHY ACTOR!

Chase:
What is going on?

Dean:
This isn’t in the script!

Bill:
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING that is in the script is going to happen now.

Dean:
You can’t do this!

Logan looks around the room.

Dean:
This isn’t the set.

Chase:
Logan--

Sara and Sam’s actresses wake up.

Sam:
What in god’s--

Sara:
Oh, I remember this scene.

Bill unchains Sara’s actress and they share a kiss.

Dean:
(insert actress who plays Sara here)! What the--

Sara:
Hello, Dean, or Lo, or Logan.

Dean:
What the--

Bill:
You see, We added rewrites to the script we thought were amazing!

Dean:
Oh god.

Sara:
It could’ve been a meta-masterpiece!

Bill:
But you had to mess it up and deny them!

Dean:
I’m sorry!

Chase:
I added rewrites too!

Chase breaks the chain.

Bill:
There ya go, Chase!

Elton’s actor wakes up.

Elton:
God, I have a headache--

A book suddenly drops on his head, causing his demise.

Dean:
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Lin’s actor wakes up.

Lin:
Jesus Christ. What happened--?

Another book drops on her head, causing her demise.

Dean:
Stop it--! Calm down, Logan, It is just a scene! It is just a scene.

Dina and Vic’s actresses wake up.

Dina:
Where am I?! Logan?! I didn’t want to be in--

Vic:
Ah jesus christ.

Dave’s actor wakes up also.

Dave:
Ah great, This again?

Hammers drop on the three actors’ heads, causing their demises.

Dean:
Ah great.

Chase:
It didn’t have to be this way.

Sara:
Yes it did.

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