The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #7

---

Chase:
And you’re his girlfriend aren’t ya?

Sara:
Wife. What is it to you again?

Sam:
Hi, You don’t know me, but we’re related.

Sara:
I may know you, I dunno.

Lo:
Where is Billie?

Sara:
You mean Bill? And he’s at Bed Bath & Beyond, Why?

Lo (as they run off): It is across the street, go!

Sara (as they leave): It is the one on Banana Street! God!

Sara notices a ticket on the ground, saying Sam Tucker.

Sara (grabbing it): Oh, That’s who S. Tuck, the woman on the phone was.

Sara gives an evil look at the camera as we cut back to Li, who is being moved in his wheelchair by Bill. They’re now at the bedding section.

Li:
Sara also needed sheets?

Bill:
Yeah, I don’t think this is the right section though.

Li:
I dunno either, I’ve never been to a Beyond & Bath Bed.

Bill:
It’s Bed Bath & Beyond.

Li:
I’ve never been beyond.

Bill:
Beyond what?

Li:
Bed Bath.

Bill:
Ugh, It is just the name of the store.

Li:
Oh, It is?

Bill:
Are you mentally dumb or something?

Li:
I guess so.

Bill:
That isn’t surprising.

Li:
What is that supposed to mean?

Bill:
When you got bitten by that many spiders, your brain goes slightly slower.

A woman saying the word false is heard.

Li:
Who was that?

Bill (looking up at the sky): God?

Li:
God’s a man.

Bill (screaming in Li’s face): YOU DON’T KNOW!

Li:
I guess you’re right.

Bill:
What?

Li:
I dunno.

We cut to Bill dragging Li, who is still holding the basket, in the back seat as he then gets in the front seat.

Li:
Ow! The basket got hurt!

Bill:
Wait, Did we pay for that?

As they drive off, a cashier screaming “YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THOSE!” can be heard.

Li:
I dunno.

Bill:
I dunno either.

Li:
I don’t really care personally.

Bill:
Yeah, Well it ain’t yo money.

Li:
I wouldn’t care if it was.

Bill:
What?

Li:
Plus, You didn’t pay for it anyway, so why would you care about your money at that moment in time?

Bill:
OH! So I didn’t pay for it!

Li:
Oh, I guess you didn’t. I guess that’s why (pulls out a electronic item with one of those spider beeping stuff for if you didn’t pay) this thing keeps making that-- NOISE!

Bill:
Woah, You can use your hands now?

Li:
Oh, I guess I can!

Bill:
Recovery!

Li:
Greatest Recovery ever!

Bill:
Fastest too.

Li:
But, It ain’t over yet, so--

Bill suddenly crashes into a semi truck and we cut to black. Bill is in a hospital bed, and Li is in one beside him.

Bill:
AH, MY BACK!

Li:
Speak for yourself, My hands reset the Greatest Recovery!

Bill:
Ah, You’re kidding me.

Li:
NO, I’m not!

Bill:
You’re joking, Ah great.

Sara (in the seat beside him): You’re awake! Oh my god!

Bill:
Sara! Honey--

He notices Lo, Chase, and Sam sitting on the window.

Lo:
Hello, Fool.

Sara:
Here’s your friends, I guess.

Sam:
Hey, Billie Boi.

Li:
Who’s these fools, Bill?

Bill:
Get out.

Sam:
What?

Chase:
Honey, He okay--?

Bill:
GET OUT OF HERE! GET THE--

Sara:
Billie!

Sara puts her hand on his arm but he moves it away.

Bill:
BOTH OF YOU GET OUT! NOW!

Lo:
Can I stay?

Sara:
Lo--

Chase:
What’s wrong, Billie?

Bill:
GET OUT OF HERE!

Chase and Sam get up, and they have a look of shock on their faces.

Lo:
Guys--

Bill:
Where’s Dave?!

Lo:
He got sick.

Chase:
Bill, I’m sorry I came here--

Bill:
Get out, Just get out.

Sam:
No.

Sam stops Chase from leaving as she grabs his arm.

Sam:
We are not leaving, We came all the way here, and we will--

Bill:
I didn’t even invite you! I didn’t invite Chase! I only invited Lo because Sara wanted to meet him!

Lo:
What?

Sara:
I don’t know who this guy is!

Li:
Oh boy.

Sara:
Don’t drag me down with your selfish attitude!

Bill:
I’m selfish?! What?!

Sara:
You’ve been acting off ever since the day before Li came along!

Sam:
Who’s Li?

Bill:
SHUT IT, SAM!

Sara:
Don’t tell her to shut it!

Bill:
SHUT IT, SARA!

Sara looks upset before she gets up (she begins crying) and walking out to the room. Li gets up and runs to her.

Bill:
You can get up?!

Lo:
He’s not paralyzed, is he?

Bill:
I thought he was.

Chase:
Why am I still here again?

Sam:
SHUT IT, CHASE.

We cut to Sara crying outside the door before Li opens the door and shuts it.

Li:
What’s wrong?

Sara:
He’s been acting like this for a while now, I don’t know what to do. He’s just, just--

Li:
It’s okay, We can go to Lin’s house, I got a talking dog there that is pretty funny.

Sara:
No, I’m fine. I’ll be fine, You gotta go back and fake being paraylzed for the insurance money anyway.

Li (as he kisses her on the cheek): Then we’ll leave forever.

Li walks back in the hospital room.

Bill:
What the--

Li (as he waves his fingers around at the IV connected to Bill’s head): You see nothing!

Bill suddenly passes out again as Chase, Lo, and Sam are nowhere to be seen.

Li:
Holy f***, it worked.

We cut to Li eating a bowl of chili as a nurse fixes his IV.

Li:
I finally got use of my arms.

Jackie (nurse):
That’s nice, Li Gin is your name, right?

Li:
I suppose it is.

Jackie nods as she walks out. Bill then walks in.

Li:
Aye! Billie Boi.

Bill (sitting beside him): I had this weird dream that you got out of here, and we were in a weird movie that was like a sequel to what happened to me years ago, A guy was writing a script about him writing a script that was about us.

Li:
Ah.

Bill:
He called it, Obsession.

Li (nodding):
Weird, huh?

Bill:
It was really, really meta too.

Li:
It was?

Bill:
Yeah, Worse than Scream levels of being a meta movie.

Li:
And the twist is that it isn’t a twist ending but a twist to begin the third act?

Bill:
Yeah.

Li:
Funny.

Bill:
It would’ve been funny too. I wish it was real though.

Li:
Why is that?

Bill:
The conflict was brewing, My wife was with you--

Li (sounding really guilty as he nods): Dream.

Bill:
My old, horrible friends came back, and Dave got the coronavirus!

Li:
What's the Colone virus?

Bill:
Something from Axe.

Li:
I love their shirts!

We cut to a guy doing his laundry, He is coughing, and he then pulls out his phone, and has a text from Bill.

Bill (his text):
Hey, Look man, It’s been years hasn’t it? I know you hate me for what happened, considering Sam was your ex, but man, You were my best friend!

Lo (as he calls): I told you to stop.

Bill (picks up):
Aye! Lo! Lo! Lo! Lo!

Lo:
What do you want?

Bill:
I got you a ticket to Florida man! Come and visit!

Lo:
Look, I’m busy--

Bill:
Come on! These were, uhhh, uhhh, Okay they were on sale, They’re the bad airline--

Lo:
Ugh, First you call me wanting to hang out, Second, You buy me tickets to the worst airport in the history airports in the history of airports existing in the history of things existing in the history of--

Bill:
You’re my best friend dude! You gotta visit me and Becky, and Li.

Lo:
Who’s Li?

Bill:
You never met Li Gin-- Oh wait nevermind, He’s from Washington.

Lo:
Yes, And I’m Lo Tuck, I’m from Tennessee-- Oh wait nevermind, YOU’RE A BAD FRIEND!

Lo throws his phone on the dryer, and he also bangs his hand on it.

Lo (as he jumps up and around): AGH! MY HAND, MY HAND, MY HAND!

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote