The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #12

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Sara:
Oh perfect!

Bill:
What’s his name--?

Li:
Her. And Lin.

Bill:
Ah, Li, but with an N.

Li:
What’s that supposed to mean?

Bill (Sara looks at him oddly): It was a joke.

Sara:
What kind of joke was that?

Li:
The joke was weirdly mean-spirited I thought.

Sara:
Yeah--

Bill:
OKAY! OKAY. Sorry! Bad joke, So what?

Sara:
It was rude.

Li:
And mean-spirited!

Bill:
It wasn’t mean!

Li:
Prove it.

Sara:
Yeah, Prove it, Bill.

Bill:
What?

Li:
What was it supposed to mean, Bill?

Bill:
Well, Uhhhhh--

Sara:
Honey, When you think of a joke to say, You know the meaning, So, What did it mean?

Bill:
It was a joke! Jesus Christ! Is it illegal to make a joke nowadays?! Jesus Christ! What did I do to all the sudden deserve this?!

Li:
Jeez, Okay, Fine, It was just a joke, Fine. A bad joke though.

Bill:
Come on, Dude!

Sara:
So, Li, Where does Lin live?

Li:
I think Miami.

Sara:
Miami?

Li:
Yeah.

Sara:
Me and Bill used to visit there all the time, but when we got fired from Walmart, We had to stop because Burger King, Well, I didn’t think it was possible to pay less than Walmart.

Li:
Oh.

Sara:
Yeah, Burger King, I mean, It isn’t a bad place to work at, but the hours and payment suck.

Li:
Those things go hand and hand though, Just work more hours!

Sara:
We work the max amount.

Li:
Really?

Sara:
I swear.

Bill:
I swear too.

Li:
Wow, Y’all sounded like this became a confessional all the sudden.

Sara:
What’s a confessional?

Li:
Oh, Something religious.

Sara:
Oh, You’re religious? I didn’t see you as the religious type.

Li:
No, I’m not religious-- Type? What the f*** do you mean by that?

Sara:
Oh, I just meant the type of person you are.

Li:
As I said, Type? What the f*** do you mean by “What type of person are you?”

Sara:
Oh, Well-- I-- Type--

Li:
Speaketh! Woman!

Sara:
I don’t know what I meant, Okay? I don’t know what I mean by half the f***ing sh*t I say!

Bill (chuckling): You got that right.

Li:
I don’t know, guys, My mind is still shaken up, Last night, I was in a forest being bitten by over 10 venomous spiders, Now I’m in freaking Florida, man! What the f***?! This doesn’t happen to people!

Sara:
It happened to you. You’re lucky to be alive, The infection should’ve killed you, but it didn’t. It did nothing. I don’t get it, My dad was bitten by the same amount and died instantly. I witnessed it, and I have never forgotten that, I was only 6, and I was there for almost a month before they found me, That’s a reason why, Well--

Bill:
Sara has an eating disorder.

Li:
Oh my god.

Sara:
I was never a heavy eater to begin with, so--

Li:
I’m so sorry, Sara.

Sara:
A 180 like that, huh?

We cut to Lo looking at the new releases, Sam walks in, and walks up to him.

Sam:
Hello, Lo.

Lo:
Sam! You actually came.

Sam:
What do you want?

Lo:
I’m thinking about going.

Sam:
Ugh, Why are you still thinking about this? I just told you that you’ll just mess up everything you’ve built up in the past 10 years!

Lo:
Without Bill, Life improved, I guess you have a point by that.

Sam:
Yeah, Don’t you think? Do you really want to mess it up?!

Lo:
I have to get closure, I want to meet this Li guy, He told me that he was bitten by over nine venomous spiders and swung across the country by that EF6 tornado over there, and stayed alive and well!

Sam:
What?

Lo:
That’s exactly what I thought!

Chase randomly falls through the roof of the Family Video, and Lo and Sam’s location in the store is where he falls through at. Sam helps him up.

Chase:
Guys!

Lo (Looking over at Chase): Hey, Chase.

Chase (noticing the somewhat depressed look on Lo’s face): What’s going on?

Lo:
Bill messaged me.

Chase:
Bill? He got out of Jail?

Lo:
Remember? Me and Sam--

Sam:
That was Dave, We tried to tell Chase, but we kept forgetting.

Lo:
That was eight years when he got out of jail! And we didn’t tell Chase within these eight years? What?

Sam:
Yeah, It’s crazy.

Chase:
You guys never told me? What kind of friends are you guys?!

Sam:
The kind that don’t date other friends and then get cheated on and realize that they are part of tax evasion--

Lo (elbowing Sam and whispering to him): He was innocent and you know that fact better than anyone in this freaking galaxy!

Sam:
You mean Universe?

Lo:
UGH.

Chase:
What?

Sam:
Nothing!

Dave (walking up to them): Oh, Hey guys.

Chase, Sam, and Lo look over at Dave.

Dave:
What?

Sam:
Is this coincidence?

Chase:
What do you mean?

Lo:
I got an idea.

Dave (walking up to them): What?

Lo:
We’ll all confront Bill together.

Dave:
Billie Boi? I haven’t heard that name in years. I think I got a message from him, He bought me a plane ticket or something.

Sam:
That mother--

Chase:
Why didn’t he buy me and Sam ones?!

Sam:
Don’t tell them--

Chase:
Is it because we’re dating?!

Chase and Lo switch spots and Dave and Lo gasp.

Dave (Pointing at them): You-- You-- Guys, No. You guys aren’t actually dating! (he begins laughing) There’s no way! It is absolutely impossible!

Chase:
Well, That’s kind of mean, Dave.

Lo:
Sam! He’s too good for you!

Sam (mouth wide open): What?!

We cut to a view of Miami, Bill, Sara, and Li are in a car driving to Miami, As they pull into the apartment complex, We cut to Dean typing when he spills coffee on the keyboard and it stops working.

Dean:
GOD--

Dina (walking in): What happened?

Dean:
I gotta buy a new keyboard.

Dina:
I thought you did when you got that paycheck--

Dean:
This is that new keyboard.

Dina:
Oh.

We cut to Dean walking in that walmart from TAODW, He is looking in the electronics section. Dave walks up to him, now in a walmart vest.

Dave:
Hey!

Dean:
You work here again?

Dave:
Walmart bought Gamestop, So--

Dean:
They did?

Dave:
Seems that way, considering I was transferred here after I came back from shooting that Billie Boi thing, Good thing Bill had a twin, with the exact same name, face, hair--

Dean:
Yeah, Good thing, Hey, I’m working on a little something--

Dave:
Oh my god, put me in it! Put me in it! Walmart is getting boring and I’d love some fame, and more money.

Dean (chuckling): Oh with how much of a success that baby was, We’ll be swimming in dough when this is up!

Dave:
Oh yeah, Maybe call my cousin up, Devin? He’s been down on his luck, and he’d love a film role now-a-days, Not for the money, but just something to do, His GF left him, He’s broke, so anything fun that pays somewhat would work for him.

Dean (grabbing a keyboard and mouse set): I’ll put a word in for him.

Dave (as he walks off away from Dean): Alright man, Thanks a lot.

Dean (whispering to himself): Wait a second, I think I know that guy.

We cut to Dean walking in a dealership, Devin is sitting at his desk, crying as Dean rings the bell for service.

Dean:
Yo, Is this Devin?

Devin (sobbing gets slightly slower): Go away.

Dean:
This is Dean White? Director/Writer/Star of TSNLOBB?

Devin:
That movie freaking sucked.

Dean (sympathetic): Yeah, I know.

Devin:
Go away. We’re shutting down.

Dean:
Yeah, I read the sign, Today? That business model must’ve not cut out for you.

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