The Son of Bigfoot Page #5

I think he is Bigfoot.

(GRUNTING)

Ta-da! And you said I don't

wine and dine you anymore.

Something isn't right.

I thought you might say that.

Perfect-issimo.

A beautiful meal for my beautiful wife,

and my

soon-to-be-born sons.

Eat up boys, no runts in this litter!

Shh, I'm serious. What are all

these black cars doing here?

Oh, no.

I know. He hates that photo.

(GRUNTING)

(WHISPERING) That's Bigfoot's wife.

We're not leaving until we find him.

Tear the forest down if you have to.

Yuck. Looks way too healthy.

Well, it is. And tastes good too.

Ooh, don't you have any meat?

I'm afraid not.

You kind of have to be

a vegetarian out here.

You eat one of those guys and

everyone starts asking questions.

Oh, no, who ate Trapper?

- Where's Trapper? Have you seen Trapper?

- (LAUGHS)

You can try to reason with them,

but nobody cares that he's delicious.

I am trying to tell them, you know,

a little salt and pepper

on the old Trapper,

it's so good. They don't want to hear it.

Oh, I see how that could be awkward.

Whoa, hot.

Hot but good, right?

No... Just hot.

You have to admit,

it's better than Mom's meatloaf.

I'll give you that. What

is in that stuff anyway?

Car tires, wet cardboard

boxes and lots of ketchup.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(PANTING)

We got a big problem.

What's this?

We saw Adam's mom. They

got her locked in a trailer.

- Shelly?

- Mom?

Hold on, it gets worse.

There are a bazillion dudes

in suits heading this way.

(SIZZLING)

I'm sorry... I...

You led them right to us.

And what's worse, you

put your mother in danger!

- I...

- Adam, what have you done?

I didn't mean to.

Actions have consequences.

You should never have come here.

Well, you better do something.

If they find Bigfoot, the jig is up!

I can fix this!

What are you doing?

I'll tell them I'm okay. It'll be fine.

No, Adam, you don't know

who you're dealing with...

(SIGHS)

Please be safe.

Over here, you found me!

Adam Harrison, the missing boy.

Everything's fine. We can all go home. Oh!

(EXHALES)

Mom!

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm sorry, Mom. I shouldn't have run away.

And I should've told you the truth.

There's a hundred agents in

the forest looking for Dad.

Adam, shh, watch what you say.

Don't worry, they'll never find him.

He's hiding in the tunnels

near the base of the waterfall.

Hmm. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

This is an all-call.

All agents re-route to sector G16.

I repeat, the prize is

in G16. I'm on my way.

You heard the man, turn

it around. Double time.

The bigfoot is hiding down there.

What are you waiting for? Get down there!

I hear something.

What is it?

(YELLING)

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

(LAUGHS) Someone push you in the pool?

Adam! Don't hurt him! Please!

Take her home. The boy rides with me.

Where are you taking him?

Don't worry, we'll be right behind you.

We're going to have a little chat.

(ENGINES STARTING)

(ADAM GRUNTING)

One last chance. Where is your father?

So you can lock him in a cage?

Your father's DNA can

help millions of people.

People who just want a

full head of healthy hair.

So you just take some DNA and let him go?

Not exactly. We'll be partners.

Your dad will work exclusively for us.

Give me a break.

Adam, listen to me...

He's not a lab rat. He's my dad!

(SIGHS)

It's becoming clear to me that you

have no interest in negotiating.

Light it up, boys.

Are you crazy?

Crazy is such an ugly

word. I prefer "motivated."

You'll never catch him. There's

too much forest out there.

(LAUGHS) Oh, my boy, the fire's

not for him. It's for you.

(HUMMING)

Nice doing business with you.

No!

(EASTMAN LAUGHING)

Oh. (PANTING)

(GASPS)

Help! Help me!

(COUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

Dad!

Hang on!

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

No!

(SCOFFS) So predictable.

Dad. Come on. Please.

(YELPS)

(GROWLS)

(ADAM COUGHING)

Dad!

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)

Mission accomplished. So long!

(GROWLING)

BIGFOOT:
Wake up, Adam.

Wake up.

Dad?

He's awake. Are you okay?

I... I think so.

All right, then. Take

care of yourself, kid.

Wait, where are you going?

To find a new place to start over.

You're just going to leave?

Well, not much left here for us, is there?

Way to go, man.

Hey! Wait.

Stop.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, I said stop!

(ROARS)

(YELLS)

Huh?

If you're going to bite my head off, do it.

Otherwise, I've got something to say.

I've got a plan but I need your help.

It's your problem, not ours.

This isn't about me, it's about my dad.

I made the mistake, he

shouldn't have to pay for it.

So you want us to bail you out now? Nice.

I didn't mean for this to happen.

I just came out here to

find my family. I'm sorry.

Sorry isn't going to

unburn down our forest!

If I could take it back,

I would. But I can't.

Please, guys, I need your help.

When animals go up against humans,

humans always win.

I'm not gonna end up a bearskin rug.

What would Bigfoot do

if you were in trouble?

Would he just walk away?

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard.

I'm not going to tell

you it won't be dangerous.

But the only way we stand a

chance is if we work together.

Please, Bigfoot needs your help.

The kid's right. Bigfoot needs us.

I agree with them, I'm in.

All right then, we're in.

Whoa, wait, we're not

even going to discuss it?

Uh, I was going to say "in"

too, you just said it first.

What do you say, Wilbur?

Hmm, okay.

Let's do it for Bigfoot.

EASTMAN:
(LAUGHING) I

could watch that all day.

It's incredible.

The structure of the hair is

different at the molecular level.

(BIGFOOT YAWNS)

Oh. Oh! It's awake.

Ah, good morning, my dear beast.

Or should I say... Doctor Harrison?

(GRUNTING) Let me go!

Ah, ah, ah. Calm down.

(GRUNTING)

Or not.

Get back!

Oh, no, no, no. There's no need for that.

Do you have any idea what that thing costs?

(SCOFFS) I'm sure we've got another one.

Ah, the benefits of being rich.

This thing here, I have no idea what it is.

But we'll replace it too.

The only thing of value

here is our new friend.

You'll never get what you want from me.

I'll fight you every step of the way.

(LAUGHS) No, you won't.

You want to know how I know?

Your family is still out there.

(GRUNTS) Leave them out of this.

Happily. I have no use for them.

But if you make life hard for us,

we can make life very hard for them.

- That said, if you cooperate...

- (GRUNTING)

I promise to take good care of your family.

So, Mr. Bigfoot, what will it be?

(GRUNTING)

Well, guys, it looks like we're

going to have to hitch a ride.

Got it.

(PANTING)

- What?

- More of a covert ride.

Got it.

Okay, we'll wait for the last

trailer in the convoy. Everyone ready?

I was born ready.

Actually, I was born a few weeks early.

I needed a lot of help to get started...

- Shut up.

- Will you shut up?

- Shut up.

- STEVE:
Yeah.

What?

Okay, guys, it's now or never.

(SIGHS) Are you sure about this?

Now.

(SIGHS) This is nuts. Whoa!

Whoa!

(GASPS)

Wait! Hold on!

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