The Sword in the Stone Page #4

Who cares as long

as the work gets done?

Rubbedy scrubbedy

Sweepety flow

Come on, son.

Let's go, let's go.

Wart. Wart!

Wart. Now, take it easy.

Take it easy, boy.

Wart! Oh, no, boy!

No, no!

- Wart!

- Whoa. Oh!

Now, what did I tell you?

Always look before you leap.

Well, I made it,

didn't I?

Yes, yes, you made it.

You made it, but you, you can't

always trust to luck, boy.

Now, first thing...

you start with

the short jumps.

Gauge the distance carefully.

And... Oh!

Now, there, you see?

Even, even, even then you can miss.

So, don't take gravity too lightly

or it'll catch up with you.

- What's gravity?

- Gravity is what causes you to fall.

Oh, like a stumble

or, or a trip?

Yes, it's like a stumble

or a... No, no, no, no, no.

It's the force that pulls you downward.

The, the phenomenon that any two

material particles or bodies...

if free to move, will be

accelerated toward each other.

- Merlin, how will we get by?

- Hmm?

Oh. Oh, well, I, I suppose we

better go back to a side track.

Go on, go on.

You got lots of room.

Well, l... I, I, I guess

she can't be sidetracked.

That's a girl squirrel, that,

and a redhead at that.

- She sure acts funny.

- Well, she likes you.

Why?

Yes, well, well, well,

that's nature again.

But I'm afraid there's

no time to explain.

Here, here, now.

You better leave me out of it.

Yeah, me too.

Merlin! Merlin!

You're on your own, lad. I'm afraid

magic can't solve this problem.

Look, I'm, I'm not a boy.

I mean...

I'm not a squirrel.

I'm a boy.

A human boy.

Not a real sq...

Oh, leave me alone!

Merlin, what'll I do?

She won't leave me...

Well, I'm, I'm afraid

you're stuck, lad.

Well, when a girl squirrel

chooses a mate, it's for life.

- But I won't be a squirrel tomorrow.

- But she doesn't know that.

She only knows one simple fact.

That you're a him and she's a her.

- That's a natural phenomenon.

- Phenomenon-menum?

Well, it's the, the, uh...

It's a state of being

A frame of mind

It's a most

befuddling thing

And to every being of every kind

it is discombooberating

You're wasting time

resisting

You'll find

the more you do

The more

she'll keep insisting

Her him has got to be you

Now leave me alone!

I mean it!

It's a rough game

Anyone knows

Go away!

There are no rules

Anything goes

There's no logical

explanation

For this discombooberation

It's a most bemuddling

Most befuddling thing

Oh! Who? Who? What... What...

Now, go on. Shoo!

Get a tree of your own.

Skedaddle!

You... You... You... You...

Oh, you squirrelly squirrels!

She's gaining on you, Wart.

There's no sensible

explanation

For this discombooberation

It's a most hodge-podgical

Most illogical

Most confusiling

Most bamboozling

Most bemuddling

Most be-befu-fuddling

Thing

Really, now, Miss, uh...

Madam. I, uh...

You, you, you've made a mistake.

Now, now, now, please.

Please, you...

Oh! Madam! Madam!

Now, look here.

I am not a boy.

I, I mean, I'm...

I'm not a squirrel. I'm a b...

No, that's not what... No!

No. I'm, I'm,

I'm a stupid old...

No!

I'm an old man.

An old human.

Understand?

Oh, hang it all.

Now, go away.

Shoo, shoo.

Impossible. Impossible!

Ooh, confound it!

Confound it all!

Merlin, I'm tired of being a squirrel.

It's nothing but trouble.

Oh, you've got trouble?

Look at my... Look back there!

One side, lad.

Whoa, what...

Help, Merlin!

Help!

Oh, no!

By George!

I've had enough

of this nonsense!

Alakazam!

There. You see? I'm an ugly,

horrible, grouchy old man!

- Merlin!

- Oh.

- So, here we are.

- Quick, Merlin, the magic.

Snick snack snorum.

There. Now you see?

I'm not a squirrel. I'm a boy.

I tried to tell you.

I'm a boy.

A human boy.

Oh, if you could only understand.

Ah, you know, lad...

that love business

is a powerful thing.

Greater than gravity?

Well, yes, boy,

in its way, I'd, uh...

Yes, I'd say it's

the greatest force on Earth.

Oh, Ector!

Ector! Sir Ector! The kitchen!

- Hold it, son! Hold it.

- Black magic all over the place!

Kay! Hold on, I say!

Stop!

Oh. Now, what's

all the commotion, hmm?

Oh, the kitchen,

it's under an evil spell!

- Huh?

- It's bewitched.

Oh, I bet it's

that old goat Marvin.

Come on, son.

L-I knew he'd give us trouble.

Gadzooks!

Black magic

of the worst kind!

Come on, Kay!

To the attack!

Wha... Oh!

Hold it!

Heaven preserve us!

Kay!

- Now, what have we here?

- Jumpin' hoptoads!

Alakazam!

So there you are,

you old goat.

Well, what's the idea of flinging

your evil spells all over the place?

Oh, oh,

lend me a hand, boy.

Well, what have you got

to say for yourself, hmm?

You call washing dishes and

sweeping floors a work of evil?

I'll decide what's right

and wrong around here.

Besides, that's the Wart's job.

One of his duties.

Uh, and look here, boy.

If you want to make that trip

to London, you'd better toe the mark.

You old goat! If I ever catch you

in my kitchen again, I'll...

Madam, you won't.

Oh, dear. He's gone.

Well, by Jove.

We ought to run the old geezer

right out of the castle.

Oh, no, no,

no, no, Kay. No.

He might cast an evil spell

on the lot of us.

Turn us all to stone.

No. There's no telling

what the old devil might do.

He's not an old devil!

He... He's good!

And, and his magic

is good too.

Lf, if you'd just

leave him alone!

Now, look here, Wart.

That's three more demerits.

- Box his ears, Dad.

- Just because you can't

understand something...

- it, it doesn't mean it's wrong.

- Ten more demerits!

You make all the rules and, and

nobody else can say anything.

You've said aplenty, boy! All that

popping off just cooked your goose.

Kay, from now on,

young Hobbs is your squire.

Did you hear that, Wart?

Hobbs is going to be Kay's squire.

- Ye... Ye... Yes, sir.

- Now that'll teach you to pop

off, you little pipsqueak.

Oh, I'm sorry, lad.

I'm sorry.

I spoiled everything.

I know that trip to London

means a great deal to you.

Oh, it's,

it's not your fault.

I shouldn't have popped off.

Now I'm really done for.

No, no, you're in

a great spot, boy.

You can't go down now.

It can only be up from here.

- I'd like to know how.

- Use your head.

An education, lad.

What good will that do?

Get it first. Then who knows?

Are you willing to try?

Well, what have

I got to lose?

That's the spirit!

We'll start tomorrow!

We'll show 'em.

Won't we, boy?

We sure will.

Now, first of all, lad...

we've got to get all these

medieval ideas out of your head.

Clear the way for new ideas.

Knowledge of man's

fabulous discoveries...

in the centuries ahead.

- Now that'll be

a great advantage, boy.

- Advantage, indeed!

If the boy goes

about saying the world is round,

they'll take him for a lunatic.

- The world is round?

- Yes, yes, that's right.

And it also goes around.

- You mean it'll be round someday?

- No, no, no.

It's round now. Man will discover this

in centuries to come.

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