The To Do List Page #5

- Find out what they're talking about.

- Be secretive, and come back and tell us.

- Done.

- Pronto.

- Fine.

So, pancake, are you ready

to knock "blowj*b" off that list?

I think so.

- There's some really good articles in here.

- I'm not reading.

You should check out page 47.

It says that if a guy

drinks pineapple juice...

His semen will taste sweet.

Isn't that weird?

I'm playing a set at the koffee klatch

this Saturday. You should come.

I know it's not a big venue

like the moose or anything...

But a gig's a gig-

- did you highlight this?

- Brandy, you can't swallow.

- Why?

- Do you know how many calories jizz has?

You must get so much p*ssy

with that guitar.

Totally.

Why else would I play this thing?

Rusty's playing cats

at the moose on Saturday.

Cats?

I love that musical.

If you drink pineapple juice,

she'll give you a blowj*b.

You guys want me to get you

some pineapple juice?

- Yes. Yes.

- Yes. Yes, that'd be nice.

- We have to go to that show.

- Hey, Brandy.

Hey, Cameron.

So I would love

to take you out this weekend.

Sleepless in Seattle 'vs playing.

I don't know about you,

but I love anything with Meg Ryan.

Yeah, it sure would suck to miss that.

- See you later, pancake.

- Bye, guys.

So I'll pick you up at 8?

Laundry delivery.

Whatever.

Don't worry,

I washed your wonderbras on delicate.

I wasn't sure how to fold your g-strings.

There's not much to them, huh?

That's the point.

Right. Your lotion smells really nice.

What is that, vanilla?

Strawberries and cream.

Why are you being nice?

I know how stressed out you are,

planning a wedding and everything.

I just thought I should help out

my big sis.

God, you know what? It is stressful.

You've no idea how hard it is

trying to find a hot wedding dress.

- Everything is ankle length.

- I know, right?

So, what are your plans

for after this summer?

- I'm marrying chippy.

- I mean for work, Amber.

You didn't go to college

for your mrs degree.

Planning a wedding is a job.

Besides, after we're married,

chippy will take care of me.

Amber, a woman needs a man

like a fish needs a bicycle.

You can support yourself.

You don't need a man to do that.

- Those things really work.

- And that's why I don't have to.

Yeah. Like that.

I don't understand

why this band is still playing.

Rusty should be up.

I'm gonna find out what's going on.

- Okay.

- Cool.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Hi.

I know you're singing,

but I don't know who else to ask.

Do you know if rusty waters'

acoustic experience is on next?

Just nod your head yes.

Are they on after you?

- Was that a yes?

- Get up here.

Oh, my God, Fiona.

Oh, my God. Look over there.

No f***ing way!

Oh, my God. Who are you?

Hi.

Thanks, Boise. Clinton sucks.

Perot in '96.

Free Tibet, if you're not too busy.

And also thank you for the opportunity

for having me dance.

- Good evening, miss klark. Judge.

- Hi.

- Who are you?

- George, this is Cameron...

Brandy's study buddy.

- Hi.

- So is Brandy ready?

I'm sorry,

I think there might be some mistake.

Classic. Nerd got stood up.

I guess nice guys do come in last.

- You can say that again.

- George, will you give it a rest?

That was 20 years ago.

- So she's not here?

- Oh, jeez, kirk, come on in.

- Cameron.

- It's Cameron.

Who's Cameron?

I'm sure Brandy will be back soon.

Just make yourself at home.

"French kiss, make out..."

Finger bomb, no skorts...

"...hand job Cameron."

What the hell?

Drink up, boys, and follow me.

Why'd they buy us

pineapple juice?

I think they're mormons, bro.

Look at me, guys.

You might be right.

Bass has four strings, guitar has six.

- The bass covers the lower end of the...

- Okay, shut up.

I'm sorry. I just feel so bad for him.

So wet in here.

Are you gonna come in?

Can't. Dyed my hair this morning.

Can't get it wet for 48 hours.

Well, that's a shame...

Because a hot shower

sounds really nice right about now.

If you ask me.

Oh, senorita, you are so amorous.

Your energy is just electric, you know?

Life on the road

is so treacherous, you know?

Never would've thought

touring the pacific northwest...

Would be so harrowing...

Are you gonna talk

the whole time I blow you?

I'm trying to figure this out.

I think I have to breathe through my nose.

- Apologies.

- Thank you.

I'm a musical wordsmith, honey.

Lamenting is what I do.

And telling the troubadour's tale

is what I do best...

Showers.

What the f***?

Brandy. Who's this guy?

Brandy, answer me.

What are you doing here?

Open your mouth and answer me.

Did it taste like pineapple juice?

Shut up. Just shut up. I...

You two just stay apart.

You guys over there,

you guys over here.

Dude, these are like little girls, all right?

What were you thinking?

Brandy, you're being totally,

totally irresponsible, okay?

That's some good sh*t, man.

Her dad is a judge...

- ...dude.

- What?

This one, her dad's a judge.

A judge?

Who do you think you are, lolita?

I mean, you lured me in,

you sought me out...

And then you lie to me?

What's that about?

Oh, that's good.

- I think I just wrote a song.

- To the van.

All right.

- That was cool.

- Bye. Love your music.

There's a gate right there.

I don't know why you...

All right.

Hey, hey, hey. Girls, I'm not done.

These guys are 10 years older than you.

- What are you doing?

- Oh, my God.

Willy, do you live here?

Are you homeless?

Yes, I'm a homeless American. Stop it.

I shouldn't be seeing you guys like this.

Brandy, what are you thinking?

What would've happened tonight

if I wasn't here?

I think I would've swallowed.

- I'm serious.

- I just got that, and that's not funny.

- It's not funny at all, okay?

- Come on, Willy.

Let's see how funny it is

when I call your folks.

- No.

- Okay? Hey. Hey.

You guys should be at home in bed,

in flannel pajamas...

Not floundering around

in your underwear...

I don't know your number.

I don't know who I called.

- What a night.

- You can say that again.

- What are you doing here?

- We had a date.

Or were you so busy with your stupid

scam list that you forgot all about it?

Cameron, that's private.

Give that back to me.

Cameron. That's private. Give it back.

- You cheat on me?

- No. Cheat? We're not even together.

We're not together because

I'm breaking up with you.

You can't break up with me,

we were never going out.

Brandy, you gave me a hand job.

Doesn't that mean anything to you?

No, it's a hand job.

- I told you that I love you.

- You meant that?

Brandy, how could you do this to me?

I work with you, I study with you,

I fingered you.

At any point you could've told me

that you were just using me.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy

a hand job again.

Cameron, don't say that.

I'm probably gonna have

erectile dysfunction.

Camster.

- It was just a misunderstanding.

- Don't touch me.

I hope you get aids.

Cameron!

Welcome to big bun.

Can I take your order?

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