The Ugly Dachshund Page #6

[Speaking Japanese]

[Speaking Japanese]

How is everything,

Mr. Toyama?

Nobody eat kombu.

Kombu?

Stuffed seaweed.

Oh, well, uh, I'm...

I'm sure everybody will.

Well, good evening,

Mrs. Garrison.

Oh, hello, Dr. Pruitt.

Well, I've been waiting

for a chance

to pay my respects

to the hostess.

Nice of you to ask me.

Oh, you don't think we'd

forget the family vet, do you?

Well, I'd hope not.

How are the dogs?

Oh, just adorable,

especially Chloe.

You know, I think she's got

the makings of a champion.

Well, there's the man

who could tell you for sure.

And so I said to her,

"Madam, I'm judging your dogs,

not you."

[Laughter]

Uh, Mel Chadwick?

He's an expert on dachsies.

Or didn't you know?

Well, I did know

that he was judging

the Fairview Dog Show

next month.

Ah. Chloe is entered,

I suppose.

Oh, Dr. Pruitt, you don't think

that I arranged this whole party

just to get

on his good side, do you?

Oh, no, no, no,

never entered my mind.

[Chuckles] Well, I did.

[Laughs]

It's wicked of me, huh?

No, no, not a bit.

Why don't you bring Chloe

out here and show her to him?

Oh, no, I couldn't.

But you will.

Of course I will.

Will you excuse me?

Yeah, I will...

and good luck.

[Laughing] Oh, my.

Kombu?

Eh, kombu?

Well, I don't think, uh...

Come on, Chloe. Come on.

You girls stay. Stay.

Stay.

[Indistinct conversations]

All right, Chloe, you go.

Go on.

Of course, so few of us have

the ability to...

- Recognize such a...

- Excuse me. Excuse me.

...quality.

Chloe, bad girl.

What did you do?

Hey, I thought we agreed to keep

the animal life out of here.

Oh, well, it was

an accident, dear.

She just kind of got out.

Oh, uh, would you put those

chairs over there,

and could you get me two more

for the hors d'oeuvre table?

Oh, that's a cute... yes.

Well, well, well,

what have we here?

Your dog, Mrs. Garrison?

Yes. This is Chloe.

A fine-looking animal.

Uh, may I?

Oh, of course.

[Slow accordion music plays]

Better sit down, Harry.

Remember New Year's Eve.

Nobody'll let me forget.

Good back line.

Ear set... good.

Fine head.

You intend to show her?

Well, I... I was

thinking about it,

if you think

she's good enough.

There's one way to find out.

Why don't you put her in

the Fairview show next month?

Chloe! Chloe!

No, no, no,

Mrs. Garrison, let her go.

Dachsies love

to be around people.

Oh, but I know some people

who don't love to be

around dachsies.

Oh, nonsense!

[Whimpers]

[Shouting in Japanese]

Uh, my sentiments exactly,

Mr. Toyama.

Dog not berong here.

That's right.

You hear that, Chloe?

Now, go on. Beat it.

[Speaking Japanese]

Hi, Mark.

Well, hello, Doc.

How are you?

Hey, it looks like your wife

has her wish...

a real champion.

Uh-huh. A real pain sometimes,

I'll tell you that.

- Go on, Chloe. Beat it. Go on.

- [Barks]

Well, of course, I can see

where your sympathies lie.

How is Brutus?

He's getting along just great.

Would you like to see him?

I sure would.

Brutus deserves something

out of this party.

- Come on.

- All right.

[Laughter,

indistinct conversations]

[Gate opens, closes]

[Laughs] Yes, sir, Mark,

he is beautiful.

Of course, I could see that

when he was a pup.

The best Dane I ever bred,

I think.

Yeah.

And is your wife getting

used to having him around now?

Doc, let's say

she's adjusted to it.

The dachshunds

are her pets...

especially

that little ol' Chloe.

She's really got the bug.

She's not gonna be happy

till she wins a blue ribbon.

Well, what about you?

Did you ever think of trying

for one yourself?

A... you mean with Brutus?

He's a fine dog.

Oh, Doc, that's what

he's gonna stay, too...

[Chuckling]

just plain doggy.

I don't want any spoiled

and pampered show horse

on my hands.

Chloe?

Chloe?

Mark, what are you doing here?

Oh, just showing Brutus

to Dr. Pruitt.

Is Chloe still

wandering around?

I thought you were gonna put the

little wiener back in the house.

Oh, she's not doing any harm.

You know, she probably found

someplace to hide

where she could watch the fun.

You know, we should be getting

back to the guests, huh?

Okay. Let's go, Doc.

See you later, boy.

MARK:
So long, Brutus.

- [Gate closes]

- [Growls softly]

[Barking]

[Growls]

[Barking]

[Dogs barking]

- Excuse me.

- Mark?

- What?

- Where are you going?

Oh, I'm just wondering

what was bothering Brutus.

There's nothing wrong

with Brutus.

Now, he's perfectly

all right,

and will you please pay

attention to our guests?

[Barking]

[Squeaking]

[Up-tempo

accordion music plays]

[Barking softly]

Mr. Chadwick, I don't believe

you've met my husband.

- Hello.

- Oh, Chloe's father.

How do you do,

Mr. Garrison?

MAVIS:
Eat something, Harry.

"Eat something, Harry."

Nobody ever says,

"Drink something, Harry."

[Sighs]

Ah, you cute, little rascal.

Mavis!

Mavis, come here.

I want to show you something.

Come on, I want to show you

the cutest thing.

There's a tiny, little dog

in there eating a bone.

Harry.

No, honest.

You can see for yourself.

Just look in the pagoda.

- [Barks]

- Aaaah!

- Aaaah!

- What's that?

[Indistinct shouting]

Rion!

Rion!

Rion!

Rion?!

- Lion?

- Oh, it can't be. He's tied up.

Rion!

Rion! Rion!

Where is he?

Where is he?

[Speaking Japanese]

Aaah!

[Barking]

- Aaah!

- Brutus!

[Speaking Japanese]

- [Barks]

- Aaah!

Brutus! Come here!

Brutus!

- Oh!

- Aaaah!

Oh, Mark! Oh!

[Brutus continues barking]

Oh, don't stand there!

Do something!

Stop him!

Brutus! Come here, Brutus!

Come here!

Brutus!

Brutus!

Excuse... me.

[Continues barking]

Aaah! Aaah!

[Grunts]

Aaah!

- Aaah! Aaah!

- Aaah!

Oh, Mark!

[Kenji shouting in Japanese]

[Shouting continues]

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Whoa, boy! Whoa, boy!

Whoa!

- Brutus, stop!

- Oh, stop him!

Aaaah!

Brutus!

[Barking continues]

What a dog.

[Indistinct shouting]

What's the matter

with you, Garrison?

Can't you control your dog?

Well... Brutus!

- Hold it!

- Aaah!

Come on, stop!

Brutus, come here!

- Mark!

- I'm trying!

Brutus?!

Here, boy! Here, boy!

Mr. Chadwick!

Mr. Chadwick,

just grab my hand!

Mrs. Ga...

Ugh! Aaah!

[Women screaming]

[Plays off-key]

Fran!

- Fran, you okay, honey?

- [Coughing]

Oh... Mark!

Now, here we go.

Ugh! Mark!

Fran, I... I really am

sorry about this.

I...

- Mark!

- I really am, honey.

- Mark!

- Fran?

- Mark!

- Fran!

[Whimpers]

I wish you hadn't

done that, Brutus.

[Growls softly]

[Telephone ringing]

Oh, Brutus...

Knock it off, will you?!

Stay!

Now, knock it off, Brutus.

That goes for all of you.

[Barking]

[Continues barking]

Who was that?

Where?

On the telephone.

Toyama.

Oh.

When is he coming to clean up?

He isn't.

- Oh.

- Neither is Kenji.

In fact, the entire

Japanese-American community

has declared our house

a disaster area.

[Chuckles]

Well, when is he coming

for his junk?

It is now our junk.

What?

$325 worth

of Japanese lanterns,

broken hibachis,

and papier-mch pagodas.

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