The Unquenchable Thirst for Beau Nerjoose Page #4

Shhhhh!

Hold on just one second.

What do you want?

This is really embarrassing!

Let me doing the talking.

I can clear this whole

thing up real quick.

No way! I'm not gonna shove my

butthole into that guy's face.

No, no, no, no. I need to

talk to his booty worm.

Fine!

Um, do you wanna

go butt-to-butt?

Hey, this guy's the chosen one.

Really?

He kinda looks like an a**hole.

Are you sure?

I'm pretty sure.

His mom was the keeper

of the great dildo.

What does he have to do

to get the fleshlight?

He's got to prove his

worth to the fellowship.

In order to get the

great fleshlight,

he has to break all ten

commandments in 24 hours.

Sounds pretty stupid

and convoluted.

Yes. Yes it is,

but once he breaks them,

the great fleshlight

will appear before him.

One more thing Phil.

The chosen one must do

this without your help.

You need to stay here

on dick mountain in this

bald guy's butthole.

Ok, I'll tell him.

May the dildo f***

the fleshlight!

Hey Ron!

Yeah buddy?

I got the info.

You need to break

all 10 commandments

What? Are you serious?

And you have to do

this on your own.

Please pick me up and pop me

in the old man's butthole.

I don't know if I

can do this myself.

I've been getting use to

having a worm in my butt.

You can do this.

You're the chosen one.

Ok. I'll do it...

for mom.

Good luck, Ron!

I enjoyed staying

in your butthole!

Ten commandments.

So... Are we good?

Ok.

This way?

Thou shall not work

on the sabbath.

What day is the sabbath?

Sunday?

What's today?

Tuesday.

Sh*t, I've got

some time to kill.

Thou shalt not work

on the sabbath.

Let's start out slow.

Thou shall not take the name

of the lord thy God in vein.

Jesus f***ing Christ goddamn it

Mary Joseph cock-gobbling d*cks!

Honor thy father and thy mother.

Boner-time.

Hey Doctor, It's Ron.

Ron.

Hey can you hold up

the phone to my mom?

Yeah, Ron.

Thanks.

Hey mom. It's Ron.

F*** you!

and you know what?

I don't know who dad was,

but f*** him too.

He was probably a dick.

Holy sh*t. What a good start!

If you wanna win the fight,

sometimes you gotta do

things you don't like.

There's no easy way out.

You can't have your doubts,

'cause only the strong survive.

You gotta sell your soul

if you wanna get out alive.

You gotta be the best.

You gotta be better...

better than the rest

to win the fight.

You gotta be a little

better than that to win

to win the fight

to win the fight!

Do it for boobies!

Boo- boobies!

Boo- boobies!

Boobies!

Boobies!

Do it for boobies!

Boo- boobies!

Boo- boobies!

Boobies!

Boobies!

Take no prisoners.

You gotta have a burning desire!

You gotta beat them

at their own game.

You gotta be a believer.

Show them what you got.

No pain, no gain, never

back down. No surrender.

You gotta be the best.

You gotta be better...

better than the rest

to win the fight.

You gotta be a little

better than that to win

to win the fight

to win the fight!

Do it for boobies!

Boo- boobies!

Boo- boobies!

Boobies!

Boobies!

You gotta be the best.

You gotta be better...

better than the rest

to win the fight.

You gotta be a little

better than that to win

to win the fight

to win the fight!

Do it for boobies!

Thou shall not kill.

Oh, I can't do that.

and commit adultery?

I can't even get

my wife to f*** me.

They're gonna kill

my mom in two hours.

Everything is so convoluted!

I don't even know what to do.

I don't even know

what to hope to do.

What is the color

of my hope tonight?

What is the color

of my hope tonight?

I just couldn't do it.

I just couldn't kill yet.

What is the color

of my hope tonight?

What is the color

of my hope tonight?

I just couldn't do it.

I just couldn't kill yet.

I just wanted the

great fleshlight!

So I could save the universe!

I just wanted the

great fleshlight!

So I could save the universe!

What is the color

of my hope tonight?

Ron!

Hello?

Ron, I need you.

Please save me.

Who are you?

I'm Hope. I'm lost.

Please find me. Save me.

What? How? Where are you?

Ron, do something. Dr. Beau

Nerjoose has captured me.

Although life ain't all

about ass and titties,

ass and titties are

a big part of it.

Please find my ass and titties

for the universe.

No!

I can do it!

How will I find the

elusive Beau Nerjoose?

I know. The phonebook.

I need a f***ing taxi.

Ron's house.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

I'm gonna find you

if it takes all day.

And nothing's gonna

f***in' stand in my way.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Beau Nerjoose, you made

me drive so far south.

Beau Nerjoose, I can

taste you in my mouth.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Hot on the trail

of Beau Nerjoose.

Keep the change.

Thank you.

No.

I don't kiss my clients.

It's one of my rules.

It's one of my

taxi-driver-rules.

I understand.

Have a good night.

Time to sh*t or get off the pot.

A pass code.

One, two, three, four, five.

Sixty-nine, sixty-nine.

C'mon Ron, think!

The secret to life is

to smoke pot every day.

Twenty-four seven,

three sixty-five.

It'll get you into places.

Four-twenty,

twenty-four seven,

three sixty-five!

For the last time, Hope

Hope.

Where is the great fleshlight?

For the last time

Dr. Beau Nerjoose,

I don't know.

Beau Nerjoose.

Fine!

If you won't tell me where

the great fleshlight is,

then I will have to destroy you.

No you don't, Beau Nerjoose!

How did you get in here?

That's for me to know

and you to find out.

Yeah. I know.

That's why I asked.

I never understood that phrase.

What's with the candy bar?

Who the f*** are you?

I'm your worst nightmare.

You mean, you mean the

one where I'm jacking off

in my car at the drive-in

and I start shitting

all over myself,

and the sh*t keeps

getting higher and higher,

and I have to eat the sh*t

to keep my head above it,

but there's just so much

sh*t that I start choking

on the sh*t, just

when I'm jizzing!

That's who you are?

No, I'm Ron.

Ron Wartyhymen.

Wartyhymen?

That name rings my balls.

Oh I know.

I used to have sex with

a woman named Wartyhymen

many many many times.

You're f***ing

dead, Beau Nerjoose.

Dead? Right.

Gentlemen.

Yes sir. Right away, sir.

How long was I out?

Just a few minutes.

Oh Ron, I'm so glad

you're here. I was hoping

you'd come and save me.

I don't think I'm gonna

be able to save you.

We're pretty much f***ed.

No, Ron. Now that you're

here, we're not f***ed at all.

For you're the chosen one.

You're gonna deliver the

light into the darkness.

I don't think so.

Didn't you see me just try and

fight that guy with a candy bar?

Yeah. It was cute.

Really? You thought

that was cute?

Yeah.

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