The Wedding Ringer Page #11

Synopsis: Doug Harris (Josh Gad) is a lovable but socially awkward groom-to-be with a problem: he has no best man. With less than two weeks to go until he marries the girl of his dreams (Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting), Doug is referred to Jimmy Callahan (Kevin Hart), owner and CEO of Best Man, Inc., a company that provides flattering best men for socially challenged guys in need. What ensues is a hilarious wedding charade as they try to pull off the big con, and an unexpected budding bromance between Doug and his fake best man Jimmy.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jeremy Garelick
Production: Sony Screen Gems
  2 wins & 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.7
Metacritic:
35
Rotten Tomatoes:
28%
R
Year:
2015
101 min
Website
1,960 Views


Sing it!

Do you remember?

Oh, Christ.

Baton twirling

That's the end of the song.

Ch, thank God.

(APPLAUSE)

(WOMAN WHOOPING)

Since none of us

are songwriters,

we decided to put together

a little slide show

to toast our buddy.

He was stealing ladies' hearts

since long before we knew him.

(GUESTS LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

His friendship

came with an instant

half-point boost

to all our GPA's.

You never could crack

2.5, Dickerson!

You got me there,

buddy.

He also taught us things

that you can't learn

in a classroom.

Whether it was bowling at regionals.

GUESTS:
Aw.

Running the Santa

Monica Marathon.

It was a close

call with the Kenyan.

You ran?

Yeah.

Navigating the rapids

of Colorado.

OTIS:
Scuba diving

the Great Barrier Reef.

What?

Climbing the glaciers

of Patagonia.

Hmm.

Jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet.

(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)

JIMMY:
Help him out, guys.

You got it?

Yeah.

After I was hit

by a drunk driver

who was found innocent,

(GUESTS GASPING)

it was Doug

who helped me pay

for my law school tuition.

GUESTS:
Aw.

That's so sweet.

(CRYING) n was you.

(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

(sesame)

JIMMY:
That's okay.

The only thing that

gets hard is my nipples.

Oh, dear.

(WHISPERS)

Let's get him out of here.

Way to keep it

together, buddy.

I wanted to quit

grad school

until Doug told me

the story of Plunkett.

Which inspired me to stay.

GUESTS:
Aw.

JIMMY:
He inspired us all.

When he wasn't

hitting those books,

old Doug-town was teaching

us all how to have fun.

JIMMY:
Yeah, he was.

BRONSTEIN:
Doug-man.

(LAUGHING)

JIMMY:
I think we saved

the best for last.

This last shot is

actually my favorite.

This was a historic guy trip

with my closest friend.

As you can see

in this picture

and in all

the other pictures,

Doug is smiling,

but I think we can

all agree that in this shot,

that smile got

a whole lot brighter.

(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)

I love you, bud.

(GUESTS CHEERING)

I was a bit surprised

when I met your groomsmen.

I mean, actually, terrified.

Like, "Wah! What is that?"

But I've got to say,

they're really good guys.

(CLATTERS)

Oops.

(CLEARS THROAT)

DOUG:
Honey, are you there?

GRETCHEN:
I'm definitely going to

have Alison be my maid of honor.

I mean, no one

can fight over that.

But, babe, what about you? Who's

going to be your best man?

Uh...

Mitchum. Bic Mitchum.

Who?

(SPITS)

You know Bic. Bic Mitchum.

He's a buddy of mine

from Stanford.

No, I've never heard

of Bic Mitchum.

Didn't you meet Bic: at that...

I met Bic?

You know, maybe on second thought,

you didn't meet Bio because...

Because why?

He's overseas,

uh, in the military.

Oh, you know what?

Now that you mention it...

I think you have said

something about him.

Isn't he a priest

or something?

Yeah. That's right.

Yeah, I knew it.

He's a priest overseas

in the military.

GRETCHEN:
But our

Wedding's in 10 days.

DOUG:
But Bic's still in...

Uh, El Salvador.

Bic is flying in

tomorrow morning.

In April I was in the Middle East.

Muffin juice.

Bring him to lunch with you. No!

(SCREAMING)

GRETCHEN:
lam...

Oh, my God!

...dying to

finally meet this guy.

(LAUGHING)

I'm dying to finally

meet all your friends.

Who the hell are those guys?

Those are my friends.

I am still missing the

groomsmen's information.

GRETCHEN:
Those are

the strangest group of guys

I've ever seen in my life.

DOUG:
Your friends

are gonna be there.

My friends are

all gonna be there.

DOUG:
(ON PHONE) Sweetie.

Hey-Hon?

Gretchen, are you there?

Doug-

Don't you think

it's a bit strange

that you use Bic razors

and Mitchum deodorant,

and your best man's

name is Bic Mitchum?

Well, if your best friend

was named Jemima Colgate,

I bet you wouldn't

use Log Cabin syrup

or Aquafresh toothpaste,

would you?

It's called loyalty.

Hey, sweetie, listen,

you're just overstressed.

Why don't you get some sleep?

I'll see you tomorrow

for our big day. Okay?

Okay, bye.

Bye, sweetie.

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

BRONSTEIN:

I saw the light on the night

that I passed

by her window

I saw the flickering shadows

of love on her blind

Bum-bum, da-da-a

She was my woman

(LAUGHING)

As she deceived me

I watched and

went out of my mind

DOUG:
And I said,

"it's called loyalty."

I didn't teach you that.

No, that can't be taught.

You're born with that.

You look good, man.

Thank you. I wish I could

say the same for you.

(LAUGHING)

So, you know,

as I'm getting dressed,

I'm thinking to myself how

insane what we're doing is.

You just started

thinking that?

Well, I mean,

she's going to be my wife.

Shouldn't I be able

to tell her the truth?

I mean, the key

to relationships

is being honest, you know?

Up to a point.

It's all about making

her happy, Doug. All right?

Come on.

Let's go get you married.

Ah.

You look good, man.

(EXHALES)

ALL:

' My, my, my, Delilah

Why, why...

Hey, fellows.

Gather around.

Hey, hey. Guys, guys.

(ALL CONGRATULATING)

This is one of

the few times that

you're actually going

to hear me be honest.

Nine days ago, I didn't think

a Golden Tux was possible.

But in less than an hour,

we're going to have

200 unsuspecting guests

filling those pews to celebrate

some holy matrimony.

Which means that from this moment

on, we are flawless, gentlemen.

Have each other's

backs out there.

LURCH:
Support each other.

Remember your HW2's,

your boomerangs,

and your Party Trick

Distractions.

Drysdale, set it off.

What time is it?

It's game time!

I said,

what time is it?

ALL:
It's game time!

Guys, guys,

I'm down here. Guys.

(ALL CHEERING)

Douglas! Hi!

Perfect timing.

I was just telling

Papa Bear here

that we did have a little

bit of a "scandal"

with Father O'Brien.

He will not be able to

officiate the wedding.

But it's okay.

Rest assured,

I have everything

under control

because Father McNulty here,

he has agreed to step

as a replacement

of the shoes

of Father O'Brien.

Hello,Doug.

Hi. Great to meet you.

Father McNulty is

a wonderful priest.

I'm just happy the big day's finally

here, to be honest with you.

I would love for you

to meet all my friends.

This is my best man, Bic.

Uh, Bic must have

gone a different way.

Uh, would you guys mind

going to look for Bic?

I'd love for him to be

caught up on all this.

KIP:
I'm going to go

see if he's praying.

What is going on?

What the hell is

Father McNulty doing here?

How do you know

Father McNulty?

Because he was my principal

at Benjamin Rush.

I spent half my damn middle school

years in his principal's office.

Please, please tell me

that you are kidding me.

This cannot be happening right now.

I need you to fix this.

What you want me to do?

If I go out there,

he knows I'm not

Bic Mitchum.

Shh! Wait. Wait.

I think I have an idea.

(DOOR OPENS)

Father McNulty?

Yes.

FITZGIBBONS:
Go, go, go.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

(BODY THUDS)

REGGIE:
Oh, sh*t!

200 grand out the door,

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Jeremy Garelick

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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