The Wedding Singer Page #4

so I'm kind of doing this

on my own.

But I went to Marshall's

for the floral centerpieces.

Marshall's?

You should go to Tony's.

They're cheaper, and

they've got a great selection.

All right.

Well, thank you for the tip.

It's a shame you won't be

doing weddings anymore.

We won't get

to hang out as much.

We'll get to hang out.

There's other things to do

besides weddings, right?

Oy, oy, bar mitzvah...

Mazel tov...

L'chaim !

Let's keep the fun rolling.

Take it away, George.

Do you really want to hurt me?

You seem kind of sad.

Why don't you

get out there and dance?

I asked that girl over there.

She turned me down.

She said she didn't dance

with losers.

Man. That hurts.

But why would you want

to dance with somebody...

who doesn't want

to dance with you? Right?

Listen, don't worry.

You're gonna meet a girl

who treats you right someday.

I promise you.

How you guys doing?

All right?

I want you to meet

a friend of mine...

by the name of Julia Sullivan.

Could you come out here

for a second?

Say hi to Julia, everybody.

Hello.

Now, who of you out there

would like to dance...

with this fine-looking woman?

I'd like to do more

than dance with her.

Wow, Julia.

Sounds to me

like you got your pick...

of any man in this room

to dance with...

so I want you

to take your time...

and find amongst all these

young studs here tonight...

the coolest, most un-losery guy

in the bunch.

Pick me.

Please pick me.

May I have this dance?

OK, pal, have fun.

I can only give you love...

That lasts forever...

And a promise to be near...

Each time you call...

And the only heart I own...

For you and you alone...

That's all.

All I have are these arms...

To enfold you.

Just go with it.

And a love

time can never destroy.

Take it, George.

Come here, Big Red.

If you're wondering

what I'm asking...

In return, dear...

You'll be glad to know...

That my demands are small.

Say it's me

that you'll adore...

For now and ever more.

That's all.

To the new lord of the ladies!

You're a lovely dancer.

-Are you gonna tell Glenn?

-About what?

About you and that kid

and him squeezing your tush?

He did have very strong

hands for a 13-year-old.

I could see that.

By the way, thank you for

recommending Tony the florist.

His flowers were beautiful,

and he didn't overcharge me.

Good. I'm glad.

And a new girl in town...

could certainly use that kind

of help on everything.

You got Holly

and your mother, right?

My mother lives 50 miles away...

and Holly's

not into that kind of thing...

so that really only leaves

one person.

I would, but, you know,

I just--l can't.

I understand.

I just don't know

how to go about this.

I'm afraid I'm gonna pay $500

for a half-eaten wedding cake.

I really gotta concentrate

on getting some more gigs.

There's only four Jewish

families in this town.

All right.

I have never done it

for that cheap.

I know for a fact you gave

Eric Lamensoft that price.

I did not.

Faye, look at me.

Look me in the eyes.

I'm right here.

Don't look away. Did you

give him that price or not?

OK. Just that one time.

So you got me.

Can I say something?

I deal with a lot of people,

but you two look truly happy.

You're gonna make it.

I know. Believe me.

How do you know?

You can just look at a couple...

and you can tell right away...

they're gonna

stay together forever.

Like Donald and Ivana...

and Woody and Mia...

and Burt and Loni.

We're not getting married.

That's right. Actually,

we're brother and sister.

So that's it.

I could sense a closeness.

The weird thing is,

when we were growing up...

we didn't get along 'cause

I used to do this to her.

We're gonna go now.

Come here, sis.

Your ass is grass.

I'm telling Mom

when we get home.

Yes, it's ladies' night...

And the feeling's right.

Yes, it's ladies' night.

Oh, what a...

Oh, what a night.

Yes, it's ladies' night...

And the feeling's right.

I've never seen it from

this perspective before.

Is this what I look like?

No. You're much better

than him.

He's ridiculous.

One...

Romantic lady...

Single baby...

Sophisticated mama...

Come on, you disco lady.

Send me a line, mama.

Yes, it's ladies' night.

Oh, what a night!

Chaka Khan!

Thank you.

This is Jimmy Moore...

saying that ain't

no sock in my crotch.

Take four, everybody.

Jimmy, that was really good.

Thank you.

No. Thank you.

-For what?

-For quitting.

Or...should I thank Linda?

My business has tripled.

You've just inspired

me to hire a D.J...

so thank you.

Good luck finding a D.J. who can

move and shake like this.

How did you become

a wedding singer?

I think I got into it

to make some money...

until my music career took off.

And you wanted to be

a rock star?

I kind of just wanted

to be a songwriter, you know?

That's the hardest thing,

to write a song.

A song that

when people hear it...

they go, "Ohh, I know

what that guy was feeling...

"when he wrote that."

Have you written anything

lately?

Yeah, I guess.

Will you play it for me?

You don't want to hear it.

It's not good.

I'm sure it is.

I wrote half of it

when I was with Linda...

and I wrote the other half

after we broke up...

so it's a little uneven,

you know?

I don't mind.

I'd like to hear it.

Yeah, all right.

I just want to warn you

that when I wrote this song...

I was listening

to The Cure a lot, so...

Here we go.

You don't know...

How much...

I need you.

While you're near me...

I don't feel blue.

And when we kiss...

I know you need me, too.

I can't believe

I found a love...

That's so pure and true...

But it all was bullshit.

It was a goddamn joke...

And when

I think of you, Linda...

I hope you f***in' choke.

I hope you're glad...

With what you've done to me.

I lay in bed...

All day long...

Feeling melancholy.

You left me here...

All alone...

Tears running constantly.

Oh, somebody kill me, please.

I'm on my knees.

Pretty, pretty please.

Kill me.

I want to die.

Put a bullet in my head.

I liked it.

He's losing his mind...

and I'm reaping

all the benefits.

Thank you for the ice cream.

It always cheers me up.

It's my pleasure.

I feel weird

being in this place.

We came here all the time.

We used to get chocolate shakes.

May I ask what happened

with Linda?

She wasn't the right one,

I guess.

Did you have any idea

she wasn't the right one...

when you were together?

I should have.

I remember we went

to the Grand Canyon once.

We were flying there,

and I'd never been before...

and Linda had,

so you would think...

that she would give me

the window seat...

but she didn't.

Not that that's a big deal,

you know?

But there were a lot of

little things like that.

-l know that sounds stupid.

-Not at all.

I think it's

the little things that count.

How did you know

that Glenn was the right one?

The right one.

I always just envisioned

the right one...

being someone I could

see myself growing old with.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes