The Wheeler Dealers Page #11

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I WAS RIGHT.

HIM WITH HIS TEXAS BOOTIES.

WHY, THAT PHONY WAS BORN

AND BRED IN BOSTON.

HE WENT TO YALE!

NOBODY'S PERFECT.

AND THE ACT HE PUT ON.

HE EVEN MOVED HIS LIPS

WHEN HE READ!

SO HE LED YOU:

UP THE GARDEN PATH.

HE SURE DID.

BUT NOW HE CAN JUST COOL

HIS HEELS AND WAIT FOR ME,

BECAUSE I'LL JUST GO BACK

TO PHILADELPHIA:

WHERE THE MEN MAY BE DULL,

BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE NO BACKBITING FRAUDS!

AS LONG AS HE'S WAITING

FOR YOU,

WHY NOT GIVE HIM

SOME OF THE SAME?

THE SAME WHAT?

A STROLL:

UP THE GARDEN PATH.

WAIT RIGHT THERE.

I WAS SAVING THIS

FOR A RAINY DAY.

GIVE ME:

THAT SHORTY NIGHTIE.

WELL, DO YOU HAVE TO TALK

RIGHT NOW, BO?

I'M EXPECTING A VERY IMPORTAN VISITOR UP HERE ANY MINUTE.

I'VE GOT TO TALK NOW!

HENRY!

HENRY, YOU READY?!

ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD, BO.

WHAT IS IT?

HENRY, I DON'T KNOW,

BUT MAYBE WE'RE BOTH CRAZY,

BUT I'M WATCHING I COME UP!

IT'S COMING UP!

THE PUREST OIL I EVER SAW!

OIL IN MASSACHUSETTS?

WHAT ARE YOU TAKING,

HAPPY PILLS?

HENRY, WE WON'T EVEN

HAVE TO REFINE IT!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ RECEIVER CLICKS ]

OIL IN MASSACHUSETTS.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

OH, THE ROOM

LOOKS WONDERFUL, HENRY.

YOU SURE HAVE GOOD TASTE

FOR A TEXAN.

I GOT YOUR VERY FAVORITE DINNER

COMING UP IN A LITTLE WHILE,

AND I GO THAT CHAMPAGNEY WINE

COOLING IN ITS OWN

LITTLE OLD BUCKET.

OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC.

I SURE COULD USE

SOME CHAMPAGNEY WINE.

SAY NO MORE.

HEY, WHAT YOU GO IN THE LITTLE POKE, HUH?

OH, THIS?

MY NIGHT THINGS.

WHERE'S THE OTHER HALF?

OH, THAT'S ALL THERE IS.

THERE ISN'T ANY MORE.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

BETTER GIVE ME THAT COAT,

OR YOU'LL BE STANDING AROUND

WITH IT ALL NIGHT LONG.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

AH, COME IN, GENTLEMEN.

OH, RIGHT OVER HERE.

RIGHT THERE.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

THAT WILL BE ALL.

OH, EVERYTHING LOOKS

JUST WONDERFUL.

HENRY, WHAT'S IT REALLY LIKE

IN TEXAS?

OH, MOLLY, YOU MEAN...

OH, YES. I MEAN.

MOLLY...

WELL, WHAT ABOU THE PRESIDENCY?

OH, NO, NO, NO, HENRY.

I'VE DECIDED THAT A WOMAN'S

PLACE IS IN THE HOME,

SO I'M GOING TO

GIVE UP WALL STREE FOR A COOKBOOK

AND A HUSBAND.

AND IF YOUR HOME

IS IN TEXAS,

THEN THAT'S WHERE

MY HOME IS, TOO.

MOLLY.

SHALL WE CHOW DOWN?

WHY NOT? THEN WE'LL HAVE THA OUT OF THE WAY.

[ SIGHS ]

EVERYTHING:

WAS JUST PERFECT.

IT MIGHT BE JUST THE MOS PERFECT EVENING OF MY LIFE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU KNOW, SWEETHEART,

WE CAN GET MARRIED

IN MIDLAND,

AND THEN YOU CAN REDO THE HOUSE

ANY WAY YOU WANT IT.

WELL, IF IT'S YOUR HOUSE,

I'M SURE I'LL LIKE I JUST THE WAY IT IS.

UH, DARLING, UM...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME

ALONE IN HERE FOR A FEW MINUTES,

AND YOU GO IN AND SLIP INTO

SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE.

MORE COMFORTABLE?

MM-HMM.

ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART.

YOU'LL SAY WHEN.

OH, OF COURSE, DARLING.

[ CLICKS TONGUE ]

[ CLICKS TONGUE ]

OH, HENRY.

WHEN, HENRY.

MOLLY!

YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT DEALS,

HENRY TYROON?!

YOU WANT TO TALK

ABOUT TEXAS?!

MOLLY!

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?!

OH, DON'T PLAY INNOCEN WITH ME!

MOLLY!

I WAS READY TO GIVE UP

MY PRESIDENCY FOR YOU,

BUT YOU HAD TO WRAP IT UP,

DIDN'T YOU?!

NO! MOLLY!

YOU HAD TO GET ME FIRED!

YOU HAD TO GE MY REGISTRATION REVOKED!

WELL, NOBODY GETS ME

BY DOUBLE-DEAL--

DON'T!

NOBODY GETS ME THAT WAY.

YOU LIKE THIS THING SO MUCH,

YOU WEAR IT YOURSELF.

MOLLY, I DIDN'T GET YOU FIRED!

I DIDN'T DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS!

- I SUPPOSE YOU'D SWEAR IT ON

THE STATE OF TEXAS!

- THE WHOLE STATE!

WELL, YOU CAN DROP

THAT LITTLE ACT, TOO,

BECAUSE YOU'RE A BOSTON BOY

WITH A YALE DEGREE,

AND I THINK YOU GOT I IN DOUBLE-DEALING.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

IT'S AN ACT TO TRY TO WEASEL OU OF YOUR BARGAIN!

ME WEASEL MY WAY --

OH! OH!

MOLLY! MOLLY!

MOLLY!

[ DOOR OPENS ]

- HI, MOLLY.

- HI.

MMM. MARTINI.

IN THE KITCHEN, ALL MADE.

WHAT'S WITH THE PHONE?

HENRY'S BEEN CALLING ME

ALL DAY.

I HAVE A SORE ARM

FROM HANGING UP.

ELOISE GETS TELEPHONE ACTION,

TOO, REMEMBER?

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

HELLO?

HOLD ON.

I'LL SEE.

IT'S HENRY TYROON.

WHAT SHALL I TELL HIM?

TELL HIM:

TO GO SOAK HIS HEAD.

MOLLY SAYS YOU SHOULD

GO SOAK YOUR HEAD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

HELLO?

OH, YES, MR. TYROON.

HE SAYS HE'S DRYING OFF

HIS HEAD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT WAS THAT?

WELL, I'LL TRY.

MOLLY?

HMM?

I LOVE YOU.

WHAT?

WELL, THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD ME

TO TELL YOU.

TELL HIM:

I'LL GET HIM ARRESTED

AS SOON AS I CAN THINK UP

A CHARGE.

SHE SAYS SHE'S GOING TO

HAVE YOU ARRESTED

AS SOON AS SHE CAN

THINK UP A CHARGE.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

COME IN.

MR. HENRY TYROON?

THAT'S ME.

WHAT'S THAT?

- SUBPOENA.

- FOR WHAT?

FRAUD -- IN THE MATTER

OF UNIVERSAL WIDGET.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

MOLLY!

Man:
DEFENDANTS ARE CHARGED

WITH VIOLATIONS:

IN THE INVESTMENT COMPANY ACT,

THE ERIE CANAL ACT,

SECTIONS 14 THROUGH 23

OF THE INTERSTATE COMMERCE ACT,

CONSPIRACY TO LURK,

ENTAILMENT...

MR. VANSON, THIS INDICTMEN SEEMS TO BE

A LITTLE ENTHUSIASTIC.

WELL, THEY'RE A PRETTY SLIPPERY

BUNCH, YOUR HONOR.

I HAD TO THROW THE BOOK

AT THEM.

MR. VANSON, THIS COURT INTENDS

TO WHITTLE DOWN --

WHITTLE DOWN, YOU UNDERSTAND? --

THE RELEVANT EVIDENCE.

THE LAST SECURITY CASE I SAT ON

TOOK FIVE YEARS.

I DON'T INTEND

TO SPEND FIVE YEARS

ON THIS ONE, YOU UNDERSTAND?

NOW, WE'LL STICK

TO THE BARE BONES.

THE BARE BONES,

YOU UNDERSTAND?

WE'LL GET OUT OF HERE

BY LUNCHTIME, YOU UNDERSTAND?

LUNCHTIME.

NOW GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

PROCEED.

ALL I DID WAS READ TO THEM

EXACTLY WHAT WAS WRITTEN

IN THE MAGAZINE.

AHA!

AND YOU CONSIDER THA PERFECTLY ETHICAL?

WELL, I WAS DESPERATE.

MY BOSS WANTED TO FIRE ME,

AND I WANTED TO KEEP MY JOB.

AH, THEN IT WAS

A LITTLE UNETHICAL.

NOW, I CAN'T LET HER TAKE

THE RAP FOR THAT, YOUR HONOR.

SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE

THOUGHT OF I IF I HADN' TOLD HER ABOUT IT.

NOW, HOLD ON, MR. TYROON.

YOUR ATTORNEY WILL GIVE YOU AMPLE

OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK

AT THE PROPER TIME.

PROCEED, MR. VANSON.

NOW, MISS THATCHER,

YOU TOOK THIS WEEKEND TRIP

TO MASSACHUSETTS

WITH MR. TYROON.

WHAT WERE YOUR RELATIONS

WITH HIM?

WE WERE BUSINESS ASSOCIATES --

THAT AND NOTHING ELSE.

YOU WERE BUSINESS ASSOCIATES --

THAT AND NOTHING ELSE.

THANK YOU, MISS THATCHER.

I NOW CALL TO THE STAND

MR. HORACE PILLSBURY.

YOU ARE HORACE PILLSBURY,

NIGHT CLERK IN THE

COTTON MATHER INN, ARE YOU NOT?

I AM, AND THERE AIN'T MUCH

ESCAPES ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MR. PILLSBURY,

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN

THESE TWO:

BUSINESS ASSOCIATES BEFORE?

YES, SIR.

THEY CHECKED INTO

THE COTTON MATHER INN

ON, UH, TUESDAY NIGHT,

JULY 16th.

THERE AIN'T MUCH

ESCAPES ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

CAN YOU DESCRIBE THE NATURE

OF THE ACCOMMODATIONS

THESE BUSINESS ASSOCIATES TOOK?

YOUR HONOR!

YOUR HONOR, THAT QUESTION'S

IMPROPER AND IRRELEVANT.

YOUR HONOR, WE SUBMI THAT THIS LINE OF QUESTIONING

HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

TO DO WITH THIS CASE.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

IT HAS EVERYTHING

TO DO WITH THE CHARGES.

MUCH OF THIS CASE DEPENDS

UPON THE CREDIBILITY

OF THE WITNESSES.

I PLAN TO PROVE TO THE COUR THAT THEIR TESTIMONY

IS UNRELIABLE.

IF THAT'S THE PURPOSE OF THE

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