The Wheeler Dealers Page #3

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THAT THIS OFFICE

MUST HAVE MADE LAST YEAR,

YOU HAVE GOT TO DRILL OFF

SOME OF THAT INCOME, MR. BEAR.

NOW, I'VE GOT SOME

PARTICIPATIONS OPEN

DOWN IN SCURRY COUNTY

THAT'LL GIVE YOU

THE KIND OF TAX SHELTER

THAT AN OUTFIT IN YOUR BRACKE REALLY NEEDS.

THE DEPLETION ALLOWANCE --

MR. TYROON, THIS YEAR

I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BRACKET.

MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER

ON SOMETHING ELSE, THOUGH.

YOU KNOW THE OIL BUSINESS.

YOU KNOW:

GREAT EASTERN OFFSHORE OIL?

OH, YEAH.

NICE -- VERY NICE PEOPLE, YEAH.

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THEIR RIG

LAST NIGHT.

RIG? LAST NIGHT?

THE VERY LAST RIG JUST,

YOU KNOW,

GOT HIT BY A GALE DOWN IN THE

GULF AND TOPPLED OVER AND SANK.

THEY GOT EVERYBODY OFF IN TIME,

THOUGH, THANK GOODNESS.

THANK GOODNESS.

EXCUSE ME JUST A MINUTE.

DR. PFEIFFER? CHARLIE RALEIGH

AT BEAR, OSGOOD, AND WHITBY.

WE JUST GOT A FLASH

ON GREAT EASTERN OFFSHORE OIL.

IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE FINALLY

SUNK SOMETHING --

SOMETHING BIG:

DOWN IN THE GULF.

THIS MAY BE:

YOUR LAST CHANCE

TO BUY GREAT EASTERN

AT THIS PRICE.

I'D NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF IF

I DIDN'T LET YOU KNOW IN TIME.

UH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD WOMEN

WORKING ON WALL STREET NOW.

OH, THAT'S MOLLY THATCHER,

ONE OF OUR TOP ANALYSTS,

SPECIALIZING:

IN THE WIDGET INDUSTRY.

WIDGETS, HUH?

QUITE A BOOM NOW,

SHE TELLS ME.

WELL, I'M CERTAINLY INTERESTED

IN BOOMING INDUSTRIES.

I GATHER YOU MIGHT CONSIDER

OPENING AN ACCOUNT WITH US.

I CERTAINLY MIGHT.

I'VE HAD MY EYES ON WIDGE FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW.

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GE OUR MISS THATCHER FOR YOU.

WELL, MR. TYROON,

ACTUALLY, I'VE JUST STARTED

ON WIDGET,

BUT ONE THING:

I KNOW ALREADY --

IT'S A VITAL COMPANY,

BUT A SMALL ONE.

AND ONCE IT STARTS GROWING,

WHICH IT HAS TO...

IT SURE HAS TO.

...THEN THE STOCK COULD MOVE

VERY RAPIDLY.

IT'S AN OLD COMPANY

AND SECURE.

IT WAS STARTED IN 1844.

AND ITS STRATEGIC POSITION IN

THE NEW ENGLAND AREA MAKES IT --

MR. TYROON, PLEASE.

OH, I'M SORRY, MA'AM.

I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT,

AND I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D NOTICE.

HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO

ANYTHING I'VE SAID ABOUT WIDGET?

ESTABLISHED 1844,

OLD AND SECURE,

STRATEGIC POSITION

IN THE NEW ENGLAND AREA,

AND YOU SURE GO MIGHTY PRETTY HAIR.

UM, THE COMPANY'S

MANAGEMEN APPEARS TO BE ABLE

AND EXPERIENCED.

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

EXCUSE ME.

MOLLY THATCHER SPEAKING.

OH, HI, LEONARD.

NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'M ALMOST FINISHED.

WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?

OH, IT IS?

WELL, I WON'T BE MUCH LONGER.

WELL, LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU

GO ON UP TO THE APARTMENT,

AND I'LL STOP BY THE MARKE AND PICK US UP SOME CHIANTI,

AND THEN I'LL WHIP US UP

SOME SCALLOPINI, ALL RIGHT?

THEN WE CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC

AND WATCH THE LATE SHOW

UNTIL YOUR NERVES

ARE SOOTHED, OKAY?

FINE. BYE-BYE.

NOW, THEN, MR. TYROON.

UH, MR. TYROON.

WHOO-HOO.

HMM?

OH, EXCUSE ME.

I'M AFRAID YOU WERE

A MILLION MILES AWAY JUST THEN.

YES.

WELL, I-I'M SORRY.

I-I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS IN THE WAY

OF YOUR PLANS.

I GUESS WE BETTER TAKE THIS UP

ANOTHER TIME, HUH?

OH, NO. I'M AT YOUR DISPOSAL,

MR. TYROON.

WELL, NOW,

I REALLY WOULD:

LIKE TO KNOW MORE

ABOUT THESE WIDGETS,

EXCEPT THE ONLY FREE TIME I HAVE

IS, UH, DINNER TONIGHT.

OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

I HAVE A DATE.

COULDN'T YOU ASK LEONARD

FOR THE NIGHT OFF?

I DON'T HAVE TO ASK LEONARD

FOR ANYTHING.

NOW, ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN' MAKE IT ANY OTHER TIME?

CROSS MY HEART.

WELL...

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, THEN -- 7:30.

I WAS JUST GONNA TAKE

A CAB UPTOWN.

COULD I GIVE YOU A LIFT?

OH, MR. TYROON,

YOU DON'T KNOW THIS TOWN.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET A CAB

AT THIS TIME OF DAY.

I'LL SHOW YOU

TO THE SUBWAY.

[ HORNS HONKING ]

THE EAST SIDE SUBWAY

IS THIS WAY.

HOWDY, PARTNER.

HOWDY.

WELL, BILLY JOE, HOLD HIM OFF

SOME OTHER WAY, THEN.

WELL, WRITE A BOSTON CHECK

ON OUR MIAMI BANK,

COVER THAT WITH A CHECK

FROM THE L.A. BANK,

COVER THAT WITH A CHECK

FROM THE DALLAS BANK.

BY THE TIME THEY RUN

THE FIRST CHECK DOWN,

I'LL HAVE US THE MONEY.

I AM NOT FOOLING AROUND,

BILLY JOE.

I'M MEETING ALL KINDS

OF MONEY TOMORROW.

YEAH.

WELL, SAME TO YOU, FELLA.

HI.

HI, MOLLY.

OH, YOU HAVING COMPANY?

NOPE. JUST ME.

YOU GOT LEONARD:

ON THE DOCKET AGAIN?

NO, NOT TONIGHT.

THIS TIME IT'S DINNER

WITH A CLIENT -- A TEXAN.

OOH.

HOW DOES HE SHAPE UP?

OH, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HIM,

MY DEAR.

HE'S REALLY TOO MUCH.

BOOTS AND ALL.

BET HE WALKS IN HERE

WITH TWO DOZEN FLOWERS.

YOU CAN FIND A BETTER REASON

THAN THAT TO HATE HIM.

MY BOSS SAYS THIS IS

SOME SORT OF A CHALLENGE,

BUT I THINK THAT TEXAS

IS JUST ANOTHER GUY ON THE MAKE.

THAT'S THE WAY PEOPLE

ARE CONSTRUCTED.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE WHAT'S

BEEN GOING ON IN THE OFFICE.

I KEEP TELLING YOU --

DOWNTOWN A GIRL HAS TO BE TWICE

AS SMART TO GET HALF AS FAR.

I THINK MR. BEAR'S PUT ME

ON THIS FOR SOME SORT OF REASON.

ON WALL STREET,

YOU'RE EVERY MAN'S RIVAL.

UPTOWN, I SMILE,

AND I GET A $5 RAISE.

OH, AN UPTOWN JOB

IS JUST THE WAY:

A GIRL KILLS TIME

TILL THE EVENING DATE.

ANYWAY,

I LIKE WALL STREET.

I LIKE MY JOB,

AND I'M GOOD AT IT.

BESIDES, THE MAN I MARRY

IS GOING TO HAVE TO WAN SOMETHING MORE THAN A CHIEF COOK

AND BOTTLE WASHER.

SOONER OR LATER, FATE, IN

THE FORM OF THE DIAPER SERVICE,

MUST COME KNOCKING

AT THE DOOR.

I'LL TAKE LATER.

I'LL TAKE SOONER.

- MMM.

- OOH.

NOW, WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE

MR. BEAR WANTS ME

TO FIGHT OFF A LARGE TEXAN?

YOU THINK HE'S GOT MORE

THAN BUSINESS ON HIS MIND?

EVERY MAN:

HAS SEX ON THE BRAIN

LIKE IT'S SOME SOR OF WONDER DRUG,

A CURE-ALL FOR EVERYTHING --

COLDS, PLEURISY, ARTHRITIS.

I EVEN HAD A GUY ONCE TELL ME

THAT SEX PREVENTS CAVITIES.

CAVITIES?

IN YOUR TEETH?

SURE.

WHEN YOU'RE TENSE, YOU HAVE

MORE ACIDS IN YOUR MOUTH,

AND ACIDS EAT ENAMEL.

WHEN YOU GET RID OF THE TENSION,

YOU GET RID OF THE ACIDS,

AND THE BEST WAY

TO GET RID OF TENSION --

DON'T TELL ME.

LET ME GUESS.

SAY, WHY DON'T YOU EVER UNDRESS

IN THE BATHROOM?

BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU

FROM THE BATHROOM.

OH.

WELL, AT LEAST LEONARD SPARES ME

ALL THAT JAZZ.

SAY, WHERE ARE YOU AND THIS

COWBOY GONNA CHOW DOWN?

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMEPLACE WHERE HE CAN' PUT HIS BOOTS ON THE TABLE

AND ORDER A BURNT STEAK.

TRY LE COCHON TRS CHER.

IT IS SO SWANK.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED

TO USE YOUR TEETH.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

YOU JUST GUM THE FOOD.

THAT'S ABOUT THE BEST IDEA

YOU'VE HAD ALL DAY.

- OH, LEONARD.

- EVENING.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU

FOR THE PAST HOUR.

YOU KNOW DR. PFEIFFER

WILL NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE

DURING MY SESSIONS.

WELL, I KNOW, LEONARD,

BUT I'M SORRY.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO BREAK OUR

DINNER DATE,

BECAUSE I HAVE A VERY URGEN BUSINESS APPOINTMENT.

I'LL-I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU

ANOTHER NIGHT. I PROMISE.

NO VEAL SCALLOPINI?

NO SOFT MUSIC?

I JUST TOLD YOU I CAN'T.

I HAVE TO HAVE DINNER

WITH A CLIENT.

HOW DID YOU RATIONALIZE

THIS REJECTION OF ME?

WHAT EXCUSE:

DID YOU GIVE YOURSELF?

IT'S NOT A REJECTION.

IT'S A CLIENT.

BUT THE REAL REASON,

THE SUBCONSCIOUS REASON

YOU'RE REJECTING ME,

HAS TO DO WITH THE AMBIGUOUS

MASCULINE-FEMININE ROLE

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